Hiking, Stephen Colbert, and the Importance of Celebration

Each day holds a surprise. But only if we expect it can we see, hear, or feel it when it comes to us. Let’s not be afraid to receive each day’s surprise, whether it comes to us as sorrow or as joy It will open a new place in our hearts, a place where we can welcome new friends and celebrate more fully our shared humanity. 

Henri Nouwen

Dad

I woke up this past Saturday morning delighted to find a text from my Dad inviting me to join him for a long hike at Percy Warner Park followed by breakfast.   Despite having planned out my precious Saturday with a to-do list a mile long, I rolled over in bed after reading the text, thought about the generous offer, played a little pro/con, and jolted out of bed to suit up for the hike.  There was little debate in my mind as it’s not often you get to spend a whole morning on the magical trails of Percy Warner with such a wise, kind-hearted man as my Father.  This is the stuff of father-daughter date platinum dipped gold.

Conversation

I’ve always thought the best conversations happened while walking.  I don’t know what it is.  Maybe the flow of endorphins or the scenery or the overachiever in me that likes to kill two birds with one stone.  Whatever the case, I love conversations on the trail, especially with Gerrit.

Ideas

We talk about everything: history, family, work, music, God, and ideas—especially ideas. We’re both big picture people who are easily excitable when it comes to new ideas and figuring out ways to propel them forward.  I discovered the importance of having a strong vision for life from him, a consummate dreamer and visionary.  For this I’m grateful.

Power Chord

Something my Dad shared with me really struck a resounding power chord in my heart.  I asked what advice he would offer his 25 year-old self now if he could.  He said, “I’d encourage him to value relationships far more than ideas.”  That leveled me pretty hard.  SO  good.

Contingency

I’ve been mulling this over for almost a week now as it’s unlocked something curious inside me.  This relates to you too, so don’t bail on me.  We tend to run on a vicious treadmill of contingency living.  By this I mean we live on the verge of happiness as it’s always contingent on the next milestone or achievement we’re after we think will provide some level of satisfaction or contentment.

Carrots

You know the drill: once I lose weight, or make more money, or meet someone special, then I’ll be okay.  Yet a bigger, sexier carrot always seems to dangle ten feet after we’ve achieved our goal.  Often times I’ll get these great ideas (or so I perceive them to be) only to cross their threshold and be left in the dust wanting more.  This drug-like promise of “more, more, more” can be so seductive we often forget or abandon the most life-giving things in life: relationships.

Twisted

If there is anything I’m convinced of it is the power of our desire.  I want so many things for myself and for other people in this life it can feel overwhelming at times,  stealing my focus and energy from that which all this desire is meant to prop up: thriving connection with others.  We must identify the defining line between living freely out of our desires and being enslaved to a twisted version of them.

Dinner Party

Let’s be honest.  We all secretly want to be our own version of Stephen Colbert, right?  He’s so stinking funny, smiley, charming, successful, witty, and annoyingly energetic.  Does the man ever wake up on the wrong side of the bed with a bad attitude? And what kind of vitamins does he shovel in each morning, pray tell!?  If I had a dinner party and could invite anyone in the world to be there, he’d surely be there along withBono, Ellen DeGeneres, my husband, Richard Rohr, Oprah, Jesus and Audrey Hepburn (in no particular order, of course.)

Now

If I boil it all down, Stephen Colbert inspires me to laugh more, succeed without taking myself too seriously, and live in the moment.  This brings me to my question for us today: how can we fully love life right now? Not tomorrow, not when we figure it all out, not when we “arrive” at our ideal destination.  How can we desire and dream from a place of abundance instead of lack?  How do we long for more and stay tethered to the beauty and fullness of now?  I’ve got a few ideas I’ve been rolling around…

Meraki

Meraki is a Greek word that means “to do something with soul, creativity or love; as you would when you leave a piece of yourself in your work.”  I just discovered this word and LOVE it.  I remember training as a sous chef in a little local wine bar back in the day.  Hernon, the head chef, is Argentinian and made cooking a simple marinara sauce look like a sacred, sensual dance with tomatoes.  Imagine the Waltz of the Sugar Plum Fairies in the Nutcracker only savory and Spanish.  Hernon did not simply cook, he sifted in a heavy dose of his heart and soul into each and every dish.  He was dripping with Meraki and his food proved it time and time again.

Ooze

We must learn how to fully engage and celebrate the tiny slivers of good throughout our day.  This is more than gratitude, this is Meraki and it’s oozing with a soulful flavor only you can bring to the present moment.  Have you ever noticed how easy it is to live in a constant state of “out there”, or future-based thinking?  In my observation, we slip into this behavior like a well-worn pair of jeans.  It takes us away from the simple celebration of now.

Velcro

If we don’t celebrate well, we become hard-hearted, cynical, and often burn out.  This week, bring your whole heart into every moment, despite what you’re doing.  Be velcro for good news and positivity, not only receiving it, but stopping to celebrate it, and thus, sealing it in.  Practice laughing and smiling more.  We are maxed out on serious, folks.

Joy

I don’t know about you, but what motivates so much of my daily energy, choice, and action is simply to create more opportunity for joy in my own experience as well as others.  Sometimes I forget that joy is everywhere—it’s there for the taking! I simply need to slow down and faithfully tap into it, like charging an iPhone or something.  When we’re charged, we connect to so much more.  This joy is contagious, I swear.  So go forth and celebrate: the small, the beautiful, the weird, the unexpected.  Meraki with abandon and leave that authentic, soulful mark that only you can leave.

Love & Gratitude,

Katie

xoxo

(Video) Connection: The Roadmap For Desire

Hello friends!

I hope you’re enjoying your Friday.  We’ve got a little something special for you today to mix things up a bit and invite you into and exciting new season.  Spring and change are both definitely in the air.

Connection

Today is all about going deeper into our desire: those beautiful heart longings that effect powerful change in our lives.  I’ve put together a super simple video (read: iPhone in the living room on my way out the door this morning!) that will hopefully tee up our journey ahead.  I look forward to connecting with you in new, dynamic ways that will enrich your process and build out even more confidence and consistency for whatever chapter you find yourself in!

A Divine Detox

It is through gratitude for the present moment that the spiritual dimension of life opens up.
-Eckhart Tolle

Lent

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday, the day after Fat Tuesday, or Mardi Gras, and the first day of Lent, a religious observance for many liturgical church traditions.  People are always surprised to learn that Mardi Gras actually started in my hometown of Mobile, AL, not in the famed, bluesy streets of New Orleans.

Jester

Growing up, I had friends who were steeped in the Old South decorum of Mardi Gras. Their dads would dress up in these ridiculous jester costumes and their kitchens overflowed with King Cakes, trash bags full of cheap beaded necklaces and plastic loot for parades— oh and cocktails, there were cocktails for days, namely screwdrivers.

Barbies

I remember spending the night with one particular friend in fifth grade. We stayed up late with the babysitter until she was relieved of her duties by two staggering adults that smelled like booze and looked like tired, aging Barbies in very expensive ball attire.  It was the strangest thing in the world to me.

Our family never bought in.  We’d typically pile into a minivan and skip town, making a 32-hour trek to the magical Rocky Mountains of Colorado for a week of skiing.  (Yes, it was a jaunt. However we were mighty in number and flying got real expensive, real fast. Where’s the fun in that, anyway?)

Space

I always found this idea of Lent very curious.  Basically, like the season of Advent, Lent shares a focus on preparation— creating space in our hearts for what’s to come. Sure, people (often of the female variety) use Lent as an excuse to “give up” chocolate or carbs or what have you in an effort to de-bloat from the excess of the season.  To each his own.  In my observance though, this completely misses the mark and seems a bit self-serving.

Deeper

The tradition of “giving something up” for Lent is far more meaningful when the motive is connected to something greater than me or “I”.  It’s not a diet, it’s not a resolution, it’s not a contest.  I like to call it a Divine Detox; a spiritual cleansing of sorts. I desperately love rituals, and with each passing year,  my inner dork shines a bit brighter with all the bells and whistles I incorporate into my daily routine.  Lent presents this beautiful opportunity to tap into spiritually driven ritual and re-align with that which is unseen yet powerful beyond belief: Perfect Love.  I call that being God, some call it Universe, some call it “fishin’” as Brené Brown wryly recounts about her father.

Noise

Whatever your spiritual beliefs, I think we can all agree that we are far more than just physical beings.  I was reminded of this last week as I witnessed my niece’s grand entrance into this world.  We are spiritual beings through and through, (“spiritual” not “religious”) yet we spend most of our time on the surface, concerned with the physical, structural world.  I believe we do this because it’s the loudest, most overt part of life—the noise of it screams at us all day through portals of social media, consumerism, and materialistic pursuit.  There is obviously nothing wrong with the physical world…I’m in love with its beauty and energy.  However, if we aren’t tethered to something deeper, we dry up and lose touch with presence and purpose.

Detox

Any excuse to solidify truth through ritual is a no-brainer in my book.  In light of this, I want to honor this deeper constancy of spirit in our lives this week in a tangible way.  Creativity springs out of a place of stillness and nothing.  I want to spend less time reacting to noise and more time grounded in presence and possibility.  In celebration of our sacred spiritual selves, I invite you to join me in a bit of a detox.

Kale

Don’t worry, there’s no kale or cayenne pepper involved. (If that’s your thing though, by all means rock it.)  This is a week-long observance of the soul—a cleansing away of unnecessary noise that distracts us from connecting to the awareness of a Loving Presence in all things: in people, in situations, in work, in us.  It’s setting harsh judgement and criticism on the back burner for a minute to explore the life that flows out of their absence.  Our ego, or fear-driven imposters, can take a much needed vacation, those little guys have earned it!

The How

Every day this week, set an alarm on your phone or watch for three different times, perhaps breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  These little breaks can be anywhere from 1-5 minutes.  Make these short so you won’t blow them off.  Take this time to simply connect to the present moment through gratitude.  Write down what you’re grateful for and respond by saying thank you.  Breathe into that gratitude; seal it in.  It’s often much easier to capitalize on the negative and overlook the positive just as we tend to glaringly see our flaws instead of our strengths.  This week, we are going to intentionally look for love in everything and observe what, if anything shifts inside.  I firmly believe it does and will when we declutter our future fears and past grievances.

Bonus

If you’re feeling ambitious and want a bonus, identify something that’s a distracting force and set it aside for a week.  It can be negative self-talk, social media, Netflix, the scale, or video games—whatever creates extra noise and blocks connection.  Don’t worry, you can pick it back up in a matter of days, we’re just experimenting here. 

I’m stoked to hear from you on this so please please email me with some feedback.

Happy Cleansing!

Love & Gratitude,

Katie

xoxo

A New Day: Respond vs. React

Mindfulness gives you time.  Time gives you choices.  Choices, skillfully made, lead to freedom.  You don’t have to be swept away by your feeling.  You can respond with wisdom and kindness rather than habit and reactivity.

– Henepola Gunaratana

Happy New Year!  We made it.  Whereas it feels really good to mark a new year with a clean slate and endless possibilities (so I keep being reminded of through Instagram feeds and my inbox) I must say, I’ve gotten a slow start to 2017 accompanied by a slew of contradictory emotions: relief, excitement, lethargy, longing, confusion, and tons of heightened expectations.  What about you?

How to’s

There are a zillion blogs out there.  I read a handful of them and I write merely one of them.  What I hope you will find different or inviting about mine is a certain level of transparency and vulnerability. I like stories as opposed to “how to’s.” It makes me cringe when I think of following zippy blog trends entitled: “three foolproof resolutions for your best year”, and “how to attract your soul mate in less than a month”, or my favorite siren, “Your extreme makeover starts here!”

King

I’m not digging on the dedicated and brilliant bloggers out there who offer hope to thousands through this approach, Lord knows I’ve been wowed often. However, with each passing year, as I show up for myself and my community, I’m learning something invaluable: extreme quick fixes are often just detours. Connection is king.

Carbs

In light of this, the “slow start” to 2017 I mentioned earliermay not be so bad after all.  In fact, perhaps grace, self-compassion, and connection are bleeding through the imperfect, jagged little edges of these young days .  Writing’s slowed down, work outs lightly sprinkled in, family laughter and Netflix watching heavy, carb and sugar consumption strong, and goals/intentions for 2017, still a bit foggy.  Strangely though, a newfound waft of acceptance and presence rises up through the air like the inviting smell of freshly baked bread.

Hustle

You see, I love extremes, or have loved I should say.  As a youngster, I was super particular, giving my sweet, saint of a mother hell if my pony tail wasn’t perfect.  It had to be just so.  Sensitive beyond words, I carried the unbearable weight of desperately wanting to be liked and accepted by peers and teachers at every turn.  I was hard on myself.  I didn’t much like myself either, learning to hustle big time to gain entry into the rooms I longed to set foot in.  One of the byproducts of this premature shame was a pretty hard-core eating disorder in high school.  What started off wanting to feel better about myself through running and healthy eating turned into a voracious and life-threatening battle with anorexia.

Whoosh

This is not a sketch of that journey; a different story for a different day, and a hopeful one at that.  This is encouragement for the weary soul or two out there who don’t want to buy into a billion dollar industry that tells us we need to change and we need to change FAST.  I’ve got nothing against new year’s resolutions and change for that matter, that is, if they serve you well.  In my experience, they always end like a hot and heavy, short-lived relationship.  I like to call them “whoosh” relationships: they promise the sun, moon, and stars, and then Bam! Like a cotton candy sugar rush they crash and burn when the lights go up and the curtain closes.  It’s like the jerk of whip-lash, the “whoosh” of a cold whip of wind.  I spent my 20’s learning all about that situation—not a good look.

Reaction Formation

Interestingly enough, I think humans find extremes far easier than balance.  We like to react out of fear instead of respond out of desire.  Marketing exploits this behavior big time, and anyway you slice it, they’re clever.  They know that people go off the rails a bit over the holidays and wake up January 1 with a foggy head and a few extra pounds.  Swooping in, they save the day with their slashed gym membership prices and 30-day cleanse program promising a new you in just one month.

We’ve been hooked.  When those dollars are spent and the motivation trails off the next afternoon, we go looking for another option, or some leftover toffee, whichever comes quicker.  The shame cycle’s begun again.  Perhaps I’m cynical, or perhaps I’ve had LOTS of practice reacting out of fear and manipulation rather that choosing what will truly satisfy from a place of mindfulness and connection.

Logo

If you jump on my website, you’ll see a logo and the story behind it on the home page.  My approach to therapy and coaching is built on relationship as I believe when we begin to soften and mend our inner dialog, healing our relationship with self, external pieces of life follow suit and eventually thrive as well.  It’s not magic, it’s a journey and one I’m very much still on.

Four Questions

Today, I want to invite you into deeper connection with you by asking four questions that will lay some groundwork for the edits and goals you may have this year.  These are adapted from one of my favorite podcasts “The Accidental Creative”—so good I had to share!  Being mindful of desires, feelings, and curiosities will take us much further than stringent rules and regimens we place on ourselves.  Without the “why” the “how” is obsolete.

Let this be a journal prompt for you this week, one you come back to over and over either to realign with or tweak.

• What do you want to feel in 2017? (i.e. energized, awake, confident, accepted)
• Where do you want to go in 2017? (This can be figurative or literal. i.e. I want to explore a new city, yoga class, or I want to go from full-time to part-time at work so I can spend more time writing)
• What do you want to learn in 2017? (i.e. I want to learn to play drums or I want to learn to meditate)
• What do you want to change in 2017? (Reminder: this is desire driven, NOT fear driven!  Approach this from a place of “I’m enough” rather than insecurity.  i.e. I’d like to build in more margin for rest and play into my life.)

Please please share your feedback from this exercise! When we give voice to this stuff, it solidifies a bit more.  I hope you will join me as I ease into 2017, listening, noticing, and responding to it’s inviting call to action.  If you’d like some extra light for the journey ahead, don’t hesitate to reach out.

Love & Gratitude,

Katie

xoxo

Palate Cleanser: Ready for Connection

Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow. 

Carrie Fisher

Sushi

I hope this finds you healthy and hopeful for a beautiful year right around the corner.  I’ve taken some time off the blog this week for several reasons, but most importantly, to rest, recharge, and connect with family and friends.  I’m calling it a palate cleanser: like a cool, refreshing sliver of pickled ginger to prepare for the gorgeous spicy tuna roll ahead. 

Thank you

That said, I miss you!  I woke up this morning with a longing in my heart to say a quick thank you and communicate so much anticipation for 2017.  As we wind down this quite quirky 2016, I’m struck by the encouragement and support I’ve gleaned through this weekly conversation with you.  Your feedback and insight have been such a lovely gift, those I deeply treasure.

Fog

To be honest, the past week has been tough for me.  I’ve heard news of so much loss and death on differing planes; some I know personally and others I grew up being entertained and shaped by.  I’ve felt a weight of heaviness sweep over me and a fog of lingering confusion that just won’t seem to lift.  I want to learn and grow from it, yet I also want to allow space and time for grief to take its inexplicable course.

Let it flow

Stillness and silence are attractive postures for my weary soul as I write this; I’m learning that’s okay.  When we stuff and cloak the process of emotion that desperately needs to find voice, we end up self-sabotaging and suffering greatly as a result.

Heroes

As I ponder two childhood heroes who’ve left us prematurely this week, George Michael and Carrie Fisher, I ponder in my heart how impossible it must have been for them to stay true when the world kept heaping the burden of God-like fame on them no human should attempt to shoulder.  Sure, they bought in hard and fast, it’d be hard to resist. Numbing that inner cry for connection would only seem a viable option, a necessary evil.  I can’t help but wonder whose face they saw in the mirror as they desperately looked for hopeful answers and loving connection; an imposter of sorts perhaps.   And aren’t we all on this same quest? I think so… yet with far less limelight and paparazzi.

Fuel

Today,  I  want to reiterate how crucial connection is every single day: connection with self, God/Higher Power, and those whom we share this gloriously messy journey with.  I’m putting New Year’s resolutions aside this go around and prayerfully anticipating an abundance of  life-giving connection in 2017 instead.  That’s the fuel of life.  Sure, vulnerability is scary– a risk for sure. Still, I’d rather be known and loved, as painful and often disappointing as it feels, than be safe and lonely in a vault of stale certainty.  Let’s keep reaching out, friends.

Onward

I sincerely hope you’ll join me on the journey ahead.  It’s going to be awesome and I’m thrilled about some new and exciting opportunities I’ve got tucked up my sleeve for you!  Please stay tuned for updates in the new year.  I’ll leave you with my go to saying, or blessing,  from St. Julian of Norwich.  It always brings me back to center.

“All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.”

Have a happy and safe New Year!

Love & Gratitude,

Katie

xoxo