Do You Ever Wonder What Happened to You

If you’ve ever found yourself reacting disproportionately to a situation—snapping at a loved one, shutting down in a meeting, or spiraling into anxiety after a simple text—you’re not alone. Often, what feels “irrational” on the surface has deep roots. Beneath the conscious mind, the body carries the echoes of experiences we’ve never fully processed. This is the terrain of trauma, and while it may seem invisible, it’s anything but silent.

Trauma doesn’t just happen to us—it happens in us.

Even if we don’t remember the moment something changed—an unsafe childhood, a moment of abandonment, or a pattern of invalidation—our nervous systems do. Trauma embeds itself in our physiology, often outside the reach of language or memory. It becomes a felt thing before it’s a known thing. As Dr. Bessel van der Kolk put it, “The body keeps the score.” And so, as adults, we find ourselves trapped in survival responses—fight, flight, freeze, or fawn—long after the danger has passed.

This is where the Enneagram becomes a sacred mirror.

Each of us, from a very young age, learned a strategy to feel safe and worthy in the world. That strategy is what the Enneagram beautifully captures. But it’s more than a personality test—it’s a map of the psyche shaped by both our essence and our wounds.

A Type Two may have learned early on that love is earned through selflessness. 

A Type Six might have internalized the belief that vigilance is the only path to safety. 

A Type Nine could have decided it’s better to disappear than risk conflict.

These aren’t just personality quirks—they’re trauma-informed adaptations.

What’s powerful—and deeply healing—is when we begin to notice that these patterns, once protective, may now be blocking us from intimacy, clarity, and presence. The Enneagram helps us bring unconscious survival strategies into conscious awareness, while the body offers a direct doorway into healing. One without the other is incomplete.

So, what does integration look like?

It starts with listening.

When your body contracts in fear, can you stay with it long enough to ask, “What part of me is trying to protect me right now?” When your Enneagram type flares up in stress, can you pause and notice the pattern with compassion, not criticism?

Healing trauma isn’t about fixing ourselves—it’s about reclaiming ourselves. When we honor the body’s wisdom and use the Enneagram as a guide, we begin to live less from the wound and more from the wonder of who we are.

This work is slow, sacred, and beautifully human. And you don’t have to do it alone. I’d love to support you along the way. The most powerful therapeutic approach I’ve used is a combination of IFS (Internal Family Systems) and Brainspotting, a brain/body-based trauma modality that works much deeper than talk therapy.

If you often find yourself asking, “I wonder what happened to me?” you’re not alone. Let’s talk.

Love & Gratitude,

Katie

P.S. Need a guide and a roadmap? Join The Practice, my online Enneagram group coaching program!

Introducing... my *NEW* WEBSITE

This week is super special for me.

For years, I've been dreaming of ways to serve you more robustly and impactfully in my work as a psychotherapist, executive coach, and Enneagram guide.

Yet, life isn’t always on our terms or timeline. For me, these last five years have certainly kept me on my toes—from becoming a mom at 40 and the glorious shift in focus that presented, to that whole Covid thing (remember?), and then a shocking breast cancer diagnosis shortly thereafter, followed by an arsenal of treatments and surgeries.

I’m a big believer that necessity breeds creativity, and boy, have I been needy. I love embracing my own frailty, becoming a student of it, and extrapolating the lessons that others might benefit from. In short, I love to find the cracks in my own experience and tease out the light on the other side in order to mine the unique beauty and potential in people, processes, and teams throughout the change process. After all, we have far more in common than we think.

So, I’m thrilled to launch my beautiful NEW WEBSITE, chock-full of opportunities to optimize your whole self: emotionally, spiritually, physically, relationally, and professionally, using the Enneagram. It’s been a long time coming!

It’s streamlined and updated for you to navigate the support you need, whether that’s in therapy, Enneagram couples intensives, team-building opportunities, 1:1 Enneagram coaching, memberships in the Practice, my keynote offering, book club, or my favorite…the Enneagram Mastermind Series here in Nashville.

It’s also an interactive site that announces my upcoming events, like workshops, new resources (book/podcast coming soon!), meditations, and other fun ways to stay connected to growth and Enneagram resources.

Y’all, I’m so grateful and excited for this new season of creativity, collaboration, and service.

So, head on over and see what you think! Let’s dream up some new ways to really flourish in 2025. I’d love to be your guide.

Love & Gratitude, 

Katie

In Case You’re Wondering What to do Next

When everything around me seems swirling and chaotic, I always return to the basics: what I know to be true.

I remember as a kid, when I’d get super discouraged, dramatic, or disappointed, my sweet Dad would take me on a date (which normally revolved around food, ice cream, and the like), and remind me of who I was. Not in a pep-talky kind of way—more of a recalibrating kind of way. My highly sensitive self would get lost in the clouds of great expectations and that harsh inner critic, and what I needed more than anything was to feel my feet on the ground.

My Dad knew that. Perhaps someone had done that for him somewhere along the way.

While I was clueless/terrified as to how to respond to my cancer diagnosis four years ago (this month) and the mash-up of emotions sheltering inside me as a result, I kept coming back to this: when in doubt, do the next best thing. Okay, okay, so I got a little inspiration from Anna in Frozen 2. I guess it’s proof that the kid inside you and me is, indeed, a truth-teller.

Though we may not be able to control our circumstances or the world spinning out around us, we can take responsibility for how we respond and choose to grow forward. In doing so, we directly impact our sphere of influence, big or small. By becoming better humans, we build a better world. By taking care of you, you create a greater opportunity for impact as you engage your family, friends, co-workers, and tribe.

I believe the first step to becoming better humans is to wake up to what’s happening inside. To develop greater self-awareness and self-knowledge. There’s a difference, after all! Self-awareness is being conscious of how you feel, think, and act. Self-knowledge takes it a step further and unpacks the “why” behind that awareness.

The Enneagram gives us nine (or 27, if you factor in subtypes) lanes that map out how we get lost in our ego, or false self. It carves out the self-knowledge as well, providing us with the “why” behind our often exhausting pursuits.

Painful experiences in life wake us up from life’s unconscious slumber. They invite us to quit pressing the snooze button and start living in wakeful presence. It’s an opportunity to change the world around us by doing the next best thing—whether that is reaching out to a friend in need, speaking kindly to yourself, donating to a worthy cause, responding instead of reacting out of fiery emotion, practicing self-care, or hugging your child a little longer at bedtime.

It’s about revisiting the classics we may have skimmed through in human school.

Let’s get back to the truth of what we know, my friend. By taking care of you, you’re focusing on what you can control. When we build on a firm foundation, we can create a beautiful, soulful tomorrow.

Love & Gratitude,

Katie

P.S. Need a guide and a roadmap? Join The Practice, my online Enneagram group coaching program!

Integrating Somatic Intelligence in Therapy

One of my favorite things about the Enneagram is its holistic capacity to bring balance and integration to our overall experience.  I’ve heard it described as a psycho-spiritual tool, one that provides benefits on a psychological and spiritual plane.  It definitely does this.  However, if we dismiss the rich insight the Enneagram provides to us on a somatic level, we are missing out on the gifts it can bring to our total embodiment day after day.  

You may have heard about the concept of three intelligence centers: body, heart, and mind, frequently taught in enneagram circles.  Basically, this proves that we are actually three-brained beings (heart, body, mind) instead of one-brained beings (mind), as has been elevated in our modern western world.  Emotional intelligence has made a big splash in the last 50 years or so, yet somatic intelligence has not been as accepted until now.  Thankfully, recent scientific studies are finally catching up to this wisdom of the Enneagram by proving we have neural cells not just in our brains, but in the lining of our stomachs and hearts.  Crazy, right?

I recently had the opportunity to sit down with Terry Saracino, core faculty member of the Narrative Enneagram (and my teacher…pinch me!) to talk about the somatic approach unique to the Narrative Tradition.  Terry is lovely and brilliant and is as passionate today about this system as when she first learned about it in 1989.  

She describes this dynamic approach to understanding ourselves through the lens of the Enneagram, and really unpacks this often forgotten intelligence center of the body.  Interestingly, our bodies are always in the present moment.  Our hearts and minds can be all over the map, future-tripping and stuck in the past, but our bodies ground us in the present moment if we are willing to bring greater awareness to them.  Our bodies are the experiencer of our Enneagram type patterns of thought and emotion, so we must lean on them for greater insight and support in our day to day experience.  

Many of us are wildly disconnected from this somatic, or kinesthetic wisdom.  And one of the trillion things I love about the Enneagram is it’s all about bringing balance and openness where there is imbalance and contraction.   

When we do the work of the Enneagram, we discover our personality type and deeper character structure are held into place by our type’s emotional patterns, thought patterns, and somatic profile.  

I love getting to work with clients to bring awareness to this unique type-specific picture and begin to relax these often limiting patterns.  As we relax those conditioned patterns, we are able to open up to the true, or unconditioned self that has been buried under years of habit and automatic behaviors.  

I explain how this works in tandem with the Enneagram and other therapeutic tools in my upcoming webinar, The Experiential Enneagram: A Transformational Approach to Therapy and Coaching.  Join me on March 8th at 9:00 am CT.  You can register or learn more here.

Transforming Your Client's Story

People often ask me, “What is your process when working with clients?” 

To which I typically reply, “We co-author a new story.”

As it relates to transformation, the Enneagram invites us into the powerful and creative work of rewriting our stories. 

After all, many of us have been living out of a story that was written somewhere back in early childhood and we wait until some type of crisis or loss to identify that story, hold it up to the light, and ask ourselves if it’s still working for us.

Children are brilliant storytellers.  However, they are crappy interpreters!  

When little people start to connect the dots of life, somewhere around five or six, they create little stories about themselves and the world around them.  Typically, these stories are very black and white, i.e. I didn’t get picked to play with on the playground.  There must be something wrong with me.  

Over time, we keep connecting the dots of life and tell ourselves stories that somehow keep us safe and secure along the way.  These stories create certainty—yet they lack context—and aren’t necessarily true.  

So, what do we do as we grow up? We use these stories, or overgrown personalities, to help us show up in the world and be liked, helpful, and successful.  So do our clients.

In my experience, most of my clients want to understand why they do the things they do.  This is yet another reason the Enneagram delivers.  It unpacks the motivation behind the survival strategy, also known as the childhood wound, for each of the nine Enneagram types.

In adulthood, our world looks much different and yet we are still living, albeit unconsciously, out of a story that was written so long ago.  Therein lies the rub—we’ve forgotten who that little person is underneath the conditioned self.  In fact, we become so identified by the workings of our personality, or ego as it’s often called, we bump up against challenges and discord in our relationships, career, and emotional landscape.

When using the enneagram with clients, we help them identify their dominant enneagram type which unlocks the unique personality story they’ve been living out of a very long time.  We help them identify those stories  in order to ask, “how’s that working for you?”  Most of the time, it’s not.  In fact, it’s often working against them.  

To foster healing…we must dig deep.  We help our clients “sit with the ouchie” as Enneagram teacher Russ Hudson quips.  That defining wound from early childhood, in order to uncover the stories of their personality —the “why” behind how they think, feel, and act—we hold it up to the light with compassion and kindness, and we start the editing process.   

The Enneagram gives us a vocabulary to do so.  

Let me show you how.  Join me on March 8, 2024 at 9:00 am CT for an inside look at how to use the Enneagram with your clients.  Learn more here.