A Divine Detox

It is through gratitude for the present moment that the spiritual dimension of life opens up.
-Eckhart Tolle

Lent

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday, the day after Fat Tuesday, or Mardi Gras, and the first day of Lent, a religious observance for many liturgical church traditions.  People are always surprised to learn that Mardi Gras actually started in my hometown of Mobile, AL, not in the famed, bluesy streets of New Orleans.

Jester

Growing up, I had friends who were steeped in the Old South decorum of Mardi Gras. Their dads would dress up in these ridiculous jester costumes and their kitchens overflowed with King Cakes, trash bags full of cheap beaded necklaces and plastic loot for parades— oh and cocktails, there were cocktails for days, namely screwdrivers.

Barbies

I remember spending the night with one particular friend in fifth grade. We stayed up late with the babysitter until she was relieved of her duties by two staggering adults that smelled like booze and looked like tired, aging Barbies in very expensive ball attire.  It was the strangest thing in the world to me.

Our family never bought in.  We’d typically pile into a minivan and skip town, making a 32-hour trek to the magical Rocky Mountains of Colorado for a week of skiing.  (Yes, it was a jaunt. However we were mighty in number and flying got real expensive, real fast. Where’s the fun in that, anyway?)

Space

I always found this idea of Lent very curious.  Basically, like the season of Advent, Lent shares a focus on preparation— creating space in our hearts for what’s to come. Sure, people (often of the female variety) use Lent as an excuse to “give up” chocolate or carbs or what have you in an effort to de-bloat from the excess of the season.  To each his own.  In my observance though, this completely misses the mark and seems a bit self-serving.

Deeper

The tradition of “giving something up” for Lent is far more meaningful when the motive is connected to something greater than me or “I”.  It’s not a diet, it’s not a resolution, it’s not a contest.  I like to call it a Divine Detox; a spiritual cleansing of sorts. I desperately love rituals, and with each passing year,  my inner dork shines a bit brighter with all the bells and whistles I incorporate into my daily routine.  Lent presents this beautiful opportunity to tap into spiritually driven ritual and re-align with that which is unseen yet powerful beyond belief: Perfect Love.  I call that being God, some call it Universe, some call it “fishin’” as Brené Brown wryly recounts about her father.

Noise

Whatever your spiritual beliefs, I think we can all agree that we are far more than just physical beings.  I was reminded of this last week as I witnessed my niece’s grand entrance into this world.  We are spiritual beings through and through, (“spiritual” not “religious”) yet we spend most of our time on the surface, concerned with the physical, structural world.  I believe we do this because it’s the loudest, most overt part of life—the noise of it screams at us all day through portals of social media, consumerism, and materialistic pursuit.  There is obviously nothing wrong with the physical world…I’m in love with its beauty and energy.  However, if we aren’t tethered to something deeper, we dry up and lose touch with presence and purpose.

Detox

Any excuse to solidify truth through ritual is a no-brainer in my book.  In light of this, I want to honor this deeper constancy of spirit in our lives this week in a tangible way.  Creativity springs out of a place of stillness and nothing.  I want to spend less time reacting to noise and more time grounded in presence and possibility.  In celebration of our sacred spiritual selves, I invite you to join me in a bit of a detox.

Kale

Don’t worry, there’s no kale or cayenne pepper involved. (If that’s your thing though, by all means rock it.)  This is a week-long observance of the soul—a cleansing away of unnecessary noise that distracts us from connecting to the awareness of a Loving Presence in all things: in people, in situations, in work, in us.  It’s setting harsh judgement and criticism on the back burner for a minute to explore the life that flows out of their absence.  Our ego, or fear-driven imposters, can take a much needed vacation, those little guys have earned it!

The How

Every day this week, set an alarm on your phone or watch for three different times, perhaps breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  These little breaks can be anywhere from 1-5 minutes.  Make these short so you won’t blow them off.  Take this time to simply connect to the present moment through gratitude.  Write down what you’re grateful for and respond by saying thank you.  Breathe into that gratitude; seal it in.  It’s often much easier to capitalize on the negative and overlook the positive just as we tend to glaringly see our flaws instead of our strengths.  This week, we are going to intentionally look for love in everything and observe what, if anything shifts inside.  I firmly believe it does and will when we declutter our future fears and past grievances.

Bonus

If you’re feeling ambitious and want a bonus, identify something that’s a distracting force and set it aside for a week.  It can be negative self-talk, social media, Netflix, the scale, or video games—whatever creates extra noise and blocks connection.  Don’t worry, you can pick it back up in a matter of days, we’re just experimenting here. 

I’m stoked to hear from you on this so please please email me with some feedback.

Happy Cleansing!

Love & Gratitude,

Katie

xoxo

Space Between the Notes (The Beatles & Benders)

I have a confession to make. I went on a bender this past weekend…a Beatles Bender. It was excessive and glorious and I highly recommend it.

While 34,000 dedicated runners recovered from the St. Jude’s Rock n’ Roll marathon, I was happily sat on my back deck for the better part of Sunday chugging coffee and devouring the brilliant and arguably most influential sounds of all time.

“Music is the space between the notes.” Claude Debussy

Now, I grew up on a steady diet of Jazz and Bossa Nova with a side of classic country. Stan Getz, Astrud Gilberto, and Antonio Carlos Jobim were household names. Crystal Gale (aka childhood hero tied with Princess Leia, of course) and John Denver got thrown around a lot too. Though sophisticated and cool, my early music education had some holes in it. A late bloomer in most areas, I didn’t begin to appreciate the Beatles until well into my mid-twenties. In fact, I’m not sure one can ever fully appreciate all the layers of genius and nuance their music houses.

Mid-way through the White Album, something struck me: music is absolute chaos if it lacks space. My favorite Beatles tunes, including Hey Jude, Something, Eleanor Rigby, While my Guitar Gently Weeps, All You Need is Love, and Blackbird (to barely scratch the surface), all dance around those beautiful and strategic spaces between the notes, lending melody and lyric that simply transcend. (Well, maybe they had some help from other “transcendental” substances as well; it was in fact the ‘60s…and beyond…) Perhaps this truth applies even more, what with the exquisite improvisational stylings of my native tongue, Jazz.

Can you imagine music without the space?

What about life?

Space between the notes is metaphorical for life, and specifically in our case, therapy as well. Rest, play, blank space, stillness, quiet. Pick your poison; however, we need them all in this life for so many reasons. For the sake of congruence, I will use the word “rest” to further my musical narrative (#nerdalert).

First off, we need rest in order to recharge and refuel our beings for more. Sure, there are seasons when we fire on all cylinders, but we can’t sustain them, nor are we meant to. When we go for long stretches without deep rest, our body chemistry changes and certain hormones spike to unhealthy levels. This can be extremely dangerous; something we don’t want to mess around with. Accidents happen, cognitions are blurred, moods swing, health problems surface, metabolisms stall, depression hits, and we lose touch with reality.

Secondly, we need rest in order to show up in a loving and compassionate way for relationships. When I experience high levels of stress and resulting burnout, I lose compassion for the people I love. It is impossible to authentically love and give from a constantly depleted, run-down state.

Lastly, we need rest in order to take inventory and gain new perspective. If we are always in “go mode” somewhere off in the distance, we miss out on the beauty of the here and now. Eckhart Tolle renders, “When you lose touch with your inner stillness, you lose touch with yourself. When you lose touch with yourself, you lose yourself in the world.” Nailed it.

Have you ever woken up at 3 am, unable to get back to sleep? No matter how tired you are, how many sheep you count, or deep breathing exercises you do, you are wired. Not only that, but insignificant details of the day appear and start damning you to hell. You are now considering a new friend group, fitness regime, psychotropic medication, and the local psych hospital even becomes appealing…like the Four Seasons or something. Exhausted and crazed, you finally manage to doze off with all the cognitive acrobatics you just did. You wake up four hours later wondering what on earth the big fuss was about. You just needed sleep, not a life overhaul.

Rest creates space for new perspective when the treadmill of life and busyness has us running at a grueling pace.

Where are the crevices in your week in which you can carve out time for rest? It doesn’t have to be an entire day or afternoon (though that would be nice!). Setting just an hour or two aside can do wonders and reset you physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Rest is NOT a nasty little four-letter word. Rest is also NOT a sign of weekness. Paradoxical as it may seem, we ultimately get ahead in life by taking the time to slow down. Next time you hear your favorite song playing, pay attention to the space between the notes. Let them catch you off guard. Learn from them You may even hear and appreciate that song in a totally new way.

If music is truly the universal language of mankind, then rest must be what keeps us speaking.

In honor of The Beatles and the late, great Prince, I leave you with this… Watch and weep along…