Let Your Body Talk

What if there was an untapped intelligence source you had an all-access pass to and it could give you accurate answers to questions you’ve been seeking for quite some time?

What if you could give that overworked, overdeveloped prefrontal cortex a rest.  You know, that part of your brain that is responsible, highly analytical, and very adult?  She makes to-do lists, gets you to appointments on time, edits what you say and write, and generally keeps you zipped up nicely in order to make a good impression.  

And my oh my, is she exhausted!?!

I believe wholeheartedly, you most certainly can give her a well-deserved break.  

So stop whatever highly important thing you’re doing right now and start by giving yourself a hug.  Let your body know you’re listening and curious about what she has to say.  I’m dead serious.

Backstory:

In 2016, I set out on a crucial journey to reconnect with my body.  Sounds weird, right?  Perhaps; however, for me, it was necessary.  

Throughout my battle with an eating disorder back in high school and ongoing depression throughout my twenties and beyond, my recovery was largely cognitive (aside from the basic requirement of maintaining a healthy weight). 

There were also traumatic experiences along the way that made some deep and painful imprints, emotionally and physically.  I don’t think I even realized this then.

Now, when I say cognitive, I mean relying heavily on my thinking mind (prefrontal cortex central) and how to mentally process defeating thought patterns and behaviors in order to replace them with healthy ones. For example, therapy modalities such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and partnering psychotropic medications, or antidepressants.  

These were both helpful beyond belief and supported my healing in ways I’m eternally grateful for. 

2016 came along, and I began experiencing all kinds of physical pain and tension, manifesting in my upper back, throat, and jaw area.  It got so bad, I experienced difficulty singing and even carrying out conversation due to a feeling of extreme tightness.   

This wasn’t going to fly as I was ramping up to start writing for a new music project.  Discouraged and in pain, I put it on hold in order to find some answers I later learned were trapped inside my body.  

It was a catch 22 in that I thought I’d found my voice, yet at the time, wasn’t able to use it. 

I set out on a mission to crack this cryptic code within my body.  After all, emotionally I felt stronger than I ever had, yet the pain I was experiencing set me back day after day into a downward spiral of discouragement.  This mission would forever change the way I lived and worked.

I started knocking on every door.  Over the course of a year, I did brainspotting,  vocal training,  yoga,  body work, acupuncture, kinesiology, and tons of meditation, all of which were extremely helpful.

Curiously, though I knew this pain affected my voice, I knew this was not a “talking matter.” Hell, I had talked in circles trying to process this thing out, and apparently, my body would not let up.

From all of the incredibly patient and wise practitioners I worked with (whom I’ll thank here in just a moment), I learned that the body is one of three intelligence centers we have.  The mind, heart, and body are all crucial in processing life around us, yet again, western psychology focuses mainly on the brain.  

Has your body ever tried to warn you of potential sickness?  Energy levels flag, soreness peaks, and all you want to do is crawl into bed with some hot tea and binge on Netflix?  It’s trying to tell you to slow down, ramp up the vitamin C, because if you don’t, you might end up with the flu.  Your body talks.

This is the first of a new blog series centering on this glorious mind-body connection and wisdom.  I wanted to kick it off by telling you a bit of my story and dangling some of these alternative practices in your world as you may be in the market for some new ways of integrating. 

Brainspotting is a brain-based therapy that jumpstarts the healing process by moving trapped trauma out of your brain and body.  It was so powerful in my healing that I became trained in order to offer it in my practice.  This was the first step for me.  (For more info on brainspotting, check out an earlier post I wrote.) 

Not that I remotely have a green thumb, but I’m well aware that the first thing to come up when you plant flowers is dirt.  Metaphorically, this was spot on in my experience.  As I began listening to, and planting seeds of physical connection and nurturance through brainspotting, body work, yoga, and meditation, you better believe years of emotional dirt— or pain started to come up. 

Yet, instead of resisting or fixing the physical symptoms of pain as I’d done for months now, I leaned into its message with the help and support of this healing community.

What I learned from a wise chiropractor trained in eastern medicine is that my body had so many answers to help me along the way.  Yet, by relying primarily on cognitive therapy and medication at points along the way, I had shut out this body intelligence.  

Hear me out friend, I am a huge believer in talk therapy as well as psychotropic medication such as antidepressants.  Yet, we must not ignore the invaluable intelligence source we have in our bodies. It all works together.  Working with the pain instead of against it allows all that dirt to finally come up and out, so we can fully process it.  

We must befriend this brilliant body of ours and learn how to feel safe inside its skin.  

In The Body Keeps the Score, Bissel Van der Kolk shares:

“Neuroscience research shows that the only way we can change the way we feel is by becoming aware of our inner experience and learning to befriend what is going on inside our selves.”

Fast forward to today.  I have spent the last year reconnecting with my body’s intelligence and healing capacity with the support of wise practitioners.  Decades of depression and toxicity trapped inside my body needed to get out.  Even though I’d done so much of my own work, I learned I was still fairly detached from my body.    

I’m beyond grateful for people like Dr. David Grand, who invented brainspotting and was gracious enough to work with me last spring in his NYC practice.  Laura Donohue, my vocal coach for the past ten years, you safely held space for my countless emotional breakdowns in your studio because I couldn’t sing a simple note without streaming tears and inexplicable pain.  Dr. Suman Chaudhuri, chiropractor and alternative medicine Guru, thank you for connecting the dots and reassuring me I wasn’t crazy, I just had residual emotional pain and trauma that was looking for an exit.  Also, to my favorite English healer, Linda Penney (whom I affectionately call Money Penny), thank you for your pristine intuitive work and for helping me uncover the truth in my body through kinesiology and realignment on your table in Marina Del Rey, CA.  Our time together was truly life-changing.

There have been so many others, yet I won’t drone on like some lame awards speech.  I wanted you to know it takes a village.  It takes asking a lot of questions and reaching out.  It has forever changed the way I approach my work as a therapist, so as to offer more experiential, brain-based therapies.  I’m passionate about supporting you on the journey of total connection, mind-body-spirit.  

Transformation and healing is where we’re headed.  I do hope you’ll continue to join me on this next exciting leg of the journey.  Today especially, if you have any questions regarding this new conversation, I hope you will reach out.  It can feel overwhelming, believe me…I fully understand this.  

It’s worth every wobbly step.  

Love & Gratitude,

Katie

Where is Your Happy Place?

“Wandering re-establishes the original harmony which once existed between man and the universe.”
-Anatole France

You’ve arrived

Where are you? What are the smells, the sounds, the landscape, the energy, and the people like? What emotions rise like a hot air balloon in your chest, slowly filling up with the gust of anticipation, of fun? What is the relationship that you have with this place? I bet it’s a very happy place, indeed.

Switcheroo

I get stuck. This happens about once every three months if I don’t give my surroundings a little switcheroo. Call it boredom, call it a shiny thing withdrawal, call it ADHD, call it whatever you will—but it’s true. As a result, I’ve learned it’s super important to intentionally seek out our happy places as often as possible, so we don’t get forgetful and lose perspective of the vast, diverse world we hold citizenship in.

Homebody

Perhaps you are thinking to yourself, “But I don’t need to go find my happy place, I’m a homebody, and my happy place is on the couch.” Okay, fair enough. We can dance theoretically here if you want. So, the couch is really your happy place; that’s awesome. However, if you’ve gotten comfortably numb while glued to Season 5 of House of Cards (guilty), and forgot what inspired feels like in your bones, it may be time to move around a little bit.

Don’t get me wrong, I love being at home. I love routine and ritual and rest…all those “r” words.  The older I get, I consider myself a homebody more and more. I love the control of it all, however, I can easily slip into the rut of complacency and self absorption, thinking the rest of the planet shares a striking resemblance to me.  Thankfully, it doesn’t!

New York

(One) of my happy places is New York City. I just got back from a week there to celebrate my birthday and do some much anticipated Brainspotting with the developer, Dr. David Grand. My nerd and city girl  were both fully satisfied, and It was glorious.  That said, I’ve very grateful.

When I conjure up my happy place, here’s what I envision:

I smell the steamy wafts of street vendors and food trucks hustling their curried meats, freshly baked pretzels, and savory egg and cheese sandwiches. I hear a slew of foreign languages fighting across streets to be heard; some bickering, some joking, and some sharing the latest juicy office gossip. I hear the bleating horns of cabs and the soulful strains of a singer- songwriter covering a Beatles tune in Central Park.

I see stunning, impossibly thin models smoking cigs and downing green juice on their way to a shoot.  In the same glance, the finance guys head back to Wall St. in their fitted John Varvatos and shiny watches after lunch. They’re shamelessly checking out the models.

All of it

The dreamy parks of the West Village teem with young dads swinging their kids and lovely older married couples drinking cappuccinos as they read the Times. They’ve seen a thing or two. Cafe owners fling wide their french doors and water the poppy colored pansies in the flower boxes. They thoughtfully write out the nights specials on a chalkboard and do a quick tasting of the night’s featured wines with a tiny, well-versed staff.

It’s the quirky innovation of the Highline, the classic majesty of Central Park, the edgy grit of Tribecca, the polished panache of the Upper West Side, the sweaty stench of the subway, the esteemed fashion houses of Soho, and the sprawling boldness of Brooklyn. All of it makes me intensely happy.

Faces of God

As you may gather, the City lights me up. Sure, there are other cities I adore, however, not many cities lend this visceral gift of inspiration and pulsing energy. It’s constant, messy, creative, gorgeous, exhausting, delicious…it’s life.
One of the many reasons this is my happy place is I see so many beautifully diverse faces of God. By this I mean, I’m reminded that God is pure love and creativity, and thus far bigger and better than we can possibly fit into a box.
My world shrinks up if I don’t intentionally commit to a bit of wandering. Wandering reminds me there’s an insane amount of life out there and it doesn’t look just like me. When I am in my happy place, It’s impossible NOT to see the bigger picture.

Zoom out.

If we take a wide-lens camera and zoom out really far, I think the overall footprint is love. It’s far more recognizable than hate, though hate desperately fights to be seen and heard. So, this is my invitation to you: go find the place that reminds you of life’s brilliant color, possibility, and love. You don’t have to get on a plane or spend a bunch of money. However, you may need to wander off the familiar path (or couch). Where is your happy place? Is it the ocean? The mountains?  Perhaps your the park down the street.  Whatever that place is, I’d love to know all about it…

Love & Gratitude,

katie

xoxo

A Brainspotting Session with Dr. Grand

“Where we look affects how we feel.”

-Dr. David Grand

It’s 4:30 am and I’m wide awake. In fact, I haven’t slept a wink. Sure, I struggle on and off with insomnia, but that isn’t the reason for this lack-of-shut-eye situation.

I’ve got a bad case of fan girl. By the time you read this, I will have already had my highly anticipated, seriously geeked out over, 90-minute session with Dr. David Grand, psychotherapist, writer, humanitarian, and performance coach, perhaps most well known for developing brainspotting. That’s right, I’m about to get brainspotted by the original brainspotter.

If you are unfamiliar with Dr. Grand and his groundbreaking method, hop on YouTube and check out his informative 101 video. It’s a great introduction.

Throughout the last several years, I’ve become more and more fascinated by the brain, its incredible capacity to heal itself, and the beautiful mind-body connection. I’ve experienced remarkable personal breakthrough throughout the past year using brainspotting in my own therapy, so naturally, when the opportunity arose to connect with Dr. Grand at his NYC office this week, I did a triple salchow at the chance. (Or something like that.)

I’m beyond grateful for this opportunity and can’t wait to share how it goes with you (video below).

If you’re intrigued, want to learn more about, or set up a brainspotting session, I’d love to connect. It’s a powerful resource that offers accelerated breakthrough for past trauma, emotional pain, as well as performance anxiety and enhancement.

Alright my friends, I’ll see you on the other side…and then…it’s nap time. 

Love & Gratitude,

Katie
xoxo

LOOKING FOR MORE INFO ON BRAINSPOTTING?

Read: “Forgiveness: How to Find Freedom from the Past“

Brainspotting 101

Where we look affects how we feel

What is Brainspotting?

The world of psychology is quickly progressing in the direction of brain based science these days, which is beyond cool to me. Brainspotting (BSP) is a “brain-body based” relational therapy developed by Dr. David Grand used to heal emotional pain and blocks, and is especially effective when treating trauma. Here’s how it works:

Basically, when you hold a particular eye position while concurrently having biolateral sound in your ears, it is possible to access trauma stored way down deep in the subcortical part of the brain, a place that traditional talk therapy alone cannot touch. Because trauma is housed, or filed away in capsule like bundles in this mid part of the brain, techniques such as BSP have been proven to unlock these painful experiences, allowing for the brain to process them as past tense events instead of crippling now and future experiences.With the lightened physical and emotional load, we are no longer weighed down by trauma and associated pain trapped in the body and can function at much higher levels. Many people, including myself, experience relief in body tension and alignment, as well as a greater ability to be in the present moment, free from that constant tendency to live “out there” either in a past or future mind set.

Intrigued? There’s more…

Each and every brain is literally a genius, containing one quadrillion (1,000,000,000,000,000) neuron connections (Daniel Amen). That’s 15 zero’s people!! That being said, those connections link and associate to and around traumatic experiences and build over time, forming capsule like containers in the mid brain, which controls our bodily function, instinct, thought, creativity, and spirituality. This is why trauma often stunts functioning and points us to therapy in the first place. Perhaps the best news I’ve gathered in my personal research and training is that the brain is so powerful, so resilient, it is capable of healing itself. BSP advances this healing dramatically. I have been fascinated by the mind-body connection for some time now, and learning this new technique is only whetting my appetite for greater healing through that connection.

Who benefits from Brainspotting?

BSP is helpful and applicable for anyone facing challenges and feeling stuck. It is used often for anxiety, depression, relational problems, functioning problems, and chronic pain. Trauma victims benefit hugely as stated earlier. In thinking about trauma, keep in mind that this means anything unwanted or unnatural that we experience. There are the “Big T” traumas and “Little t” traumas. Our unique stories of personal pain and hardship are all relative; I can’t discount my trauma just because it might not look as vivid and awful as yours. Your story, your pain is what you know and that makes it enough to reach out for resources of healing and support. BSP and therapy in general must always hold our unique personal journeys very gently and without judgement.

The Creative and Brainspotting

One of my favorite things about BSP is its proven effectiveness with creatives, performers, and athletes. As mentioned earlier, trauma can severely stunt functioning. By getting into those deep, bundled associations around past trauma, we let go of them in the present moment and see them as past tense.

This enhances our creative and athletic performance and frees up space for mindfulness, expression, and mind-body connection.

Does BSP replace Talk Therapy?

Not at all. I’m a big believer in an integrated approach to therapy, tailoring treatment to fit the specific and unique needs of the client. BSP is part of this holistic approach and by no means substitutes the need for talk therapy. However, sometimes I do believe we talk around challenges and issues in therapy too much, rebranding it in our beings. If I am doing my job to the best of my ability, clients will spend less time in therapy and more time out in the world connecting to their best selves. I am beyond excited to incorporate brainspotting into my therapeutic model in order to help clients achieve greater peace and fulfillment than ever before.