Self-Compassion… The New Self-Care

When we hear the phrase “self-care,” most of us picture bubble baths, yoga classes, or carving out an hour to finally read that book on our nightstand. And while those things have their place, if we stop there, we miss the deeper, sustaining work that helps us thrive.

What I’ve learned in my own healing and my work with clients is this: self-care without self-compassion can feel more like another to-do list item when it’s really a relationship to nurture.

Kristen Neff, a leading researcher on self-compassion, defines it simply as treating ourselves with the same warmth, understanding, and care we’d offer a close friend. Sounds obvious, right? Yet so many of us struggle to extend that kindness inward. Instead, we run ourselves ragged, push through exhaustion, and when we finally pause, we judge ourselves for not doing enough.

Here’s the truth: self-compassion is the soil out of which real self-care grows.

Self-compassion says, I see you just as you are. 
Self-compassion leans in to our human frailty with curiosity and kindness.  

It says, I am worthy of rest and renewal, not because I earned it, but because I’m human.
Self-compassion says, Even when I fall short, I don’t have to turn on myself—I can soften, reset, and begin again.

Dr. Neff’s research has shown that self-compassion is linked to lower anxiety and depression, greater resilience, and even stronger motivation. It’s not about letting ourselves off the hook—it’s about finding a kinder, more sustainable path forward.

This fall, as we move back into routines and rhythms, I’m leaning into this idea: What if self-care wasn’t just about the plan, but about the posture we take toward ourselves?

That’s exactly what we’ll be exploring at the Self-Care Workshop on Saturday, October 11th here in Nashville. Alongside my dear friends Ally Fallon and Koula Callahan, we’ll spend the day blending writing, movement, and Enneagram work to help you create a sustainable rhythm of care rooted in compassion. Think of it as a reset button for your mind, body, and spirit—a chance to practice being gentle with yourself while also building a plan that actually works for your life.

Because at the end of the day, bubble baths are lovely. But it’s self-compassion that carries us through.

I’d love for you to join us.

Register here for the Self-Care Workshop on Oct. 11th

Love & Gratitude, 

Katie

Begin Again: How Curiosity Heals Us

There’s a moment, sometimes subtle and sometimes seismic, when you realize you have the chance to begin again. Maybe it’s the first crisp morning after a long summer. Maybe it’s a job change, a new relationship, or even the quiet decision to show up differently in the one you’re already in.

I’ve learned that beginnings—whether chosen or thrust upon us—are vulnerable places. They ask something of us: a willingness to step into what we don’t yet know. And if you’re anything like me, that’s both exciting and a little unnerving.

This is where curiosity comes in.

In Buddhist teaching, there’s a concept called “shoshin”, or “beginner’s mind.” It’s the practice of meeting life without the heavy baggage of assumption, like holding a freshly sharpened pencil and a blank sheet of paper. We allow ourselves to be surprised. We let our defenses relax. We let life meet us where we are, without needing to prove we already have it all figured out.

Curiosity is the doorway to this space. It’s what allows us to ask questions instead of making quick judgments, to notice the smallest shifts, to give ourselves the grace of not knowing yet. And, maybe most importantly, it invites us to play again.

One of my favorite things about the Enneagram is how it helps us see our default settings—the familiar thought patterns, emotions, and behaviors that we return to again and again. While those patterns once served us, they can also keep us from experiencing something new.

The beginner’s mind asks each type to set down their well-worn script and step into uncharted territory:

Type One – Loosen the grip on “the right way” and explore the delight of imperfection.

Ask: What’s a messy, joyful way I could try this?

Type Two – Turn curiosity inward.

Ask: What do I need in this new season, before I meet anyone else’s needs?

Type Three – Experiment with letting the process matter more than the outcome.

Ask: What would I do if no one were watching?

Type Four – Let go of the need to deeper define this moment.

Ask: What if I just let this experience be exactly as it is?

Type Five – Step into the unknown without gathering all the data first.

Ask: What could I learn by simply doing?

Type Six – Be curious about trust.

Ask: What if this really could turn out well?

Type Seven – Resist the urge to skip ahead.

Ask: What’s here in this moment I don’t want to miss?

Type Eight – Experiment with releasing control.

Ask: What strength could emerge if I stayed open?

Type Nine – Lean into engagement.

Ask: What happens if I take the first step, even before I feel ready?

The beautiful thing about curiosity is that it softens us. It quiets the inner critic, diffuses our reactivity, and makes room for compassion, both for ourselves and for others.

When we’re curious, we don’t need to have the answers yet. We don’t need to rush the story forward or fix what feels unfinished. We can simply be with what *is*—and in that space, we discover that healing often happens quietly, in the background, as we gently turn toward life again.

So, as you step into this new season—whether that’s the literal shift from summer to fall, or a personal season that’s just beginning—what would it look like to greet it with the wide-eyed wonder of a beginner?

Ask one new question each day. Notice something small you’ve never noticed before. Try a way of being that feels fresh, even if it’s uncomfortable.

Because every day, no matter how far along the path we think we are, we have the chance to begin again.

And beginning again, with curiosity as our compass, just might be the most healing thing we ever do.

Love & Gratitude,

Katie

The Self-Care Workshop is Back

Are you ready to stop running on empty and start living from a place of wholeness?

Join me, alongside Ally Fallon (best selling author + writing coach) and Koula Callahan (yoga teacher + speaker), for an unforgettable day of enneagram insight, intentional writing, and embodied movement — what I call the trifecta of true self-care.

This isn’t just another wellness event.
It’s a restorative experience designed to help you:

✨ Know yourself more deeply through the lens of the Enneagram
✨ Create a self-care plan that actually works for you
✨ Write your way toward clarity, alignment, and renewal
✨ Ground your body through yoga + sound bath therapy
✨ Nourish yourself with gourmet meals, spacious reflection, and soul-aligned community

We’ll also gather the evening before (Friday, Oct. 10) for an optional VIP dinner to connect in an intimate setting and set the tone for the magic to come.

Because here’s the truth:
We can’t keep giving from a place of depletion.
We need a plan. We need support. We need real self-compassion.

This workshop will show you how to build that foundation—not through quick fixes, but by returning to who you really are and giving her the care she’s been craving.

Spots are limited! Go ahead and mark it on your calendar.  Early bird pricing starts in two weeks!

Let this be the day you say yes to yourself…(and everyone else you love as a result!)

Love & Gratitude,
Katie

The Back to School Edit

Somewhere between the smell of freshly sharpened pencils and the first rustle of fall leaves, we’re invited into a familiar rhythm—one that feels both nostalgic and energizing. Whether or not you have a backpack in your life anymore, the back-to-school season has a way of nudging us to recalibrate, recommit, and reset. It’s not just for students. It’s for all of us seeking a deeper sense of alignment and intention.

So, in the spirit of fresh starts and nourishing structure, I’m sharing The Back-to-School Edit—a curated collection of the ways we can work together this fall to help you grow, heal, and reconnect with what matters most.

✨ The Enneagram Mastermind Series

Starts September | In-person in Nashville
This is for the women who want more—a deeper connection to their purpose, clarity in leadership, and the support of a soulful community. The Enneagram Mastermind is an eight-month in-person journey designed for creatives, professionals, and seekers ready to move from self-awareness to embodied impact. Each session blends powerful Enneagram insights with actionable tools, reflection, and conversation that’s as real as it is transformative.  And, the best part? You will meet some of the most incredible, like-minded friends…all over a delicious lunch.  

👉 More details and registration here

📚 The Experiential Book Club

Kicks off August | Virtual
We’re reading The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins this season, and as always, we’ll integrate the Enneagram, therapeutic practices, and group discussion that goes way beyond your average book club. These monthly 90-minute sessions are spacious, supportive, and just the right blend of introspection and inspiration.

👉 Join us — Register here!

🛁 Save the Date: Self-Care Workshop

October 11, 2025 | Nashville
This one’s for anyone feeling a little crispy around the edges. (Hi, yes—me too.) Our full-day in-person workshop will blend embodiment, self-reflection, and Enneagram insight to help you redefine self-care in a way that actually sustains you. More details to come, but consider this your official permission slip to put yourself on the calendar.

💛 Ways to Work Together One-on-One

• Therapy (TN residents): If you’re seeking  psychotherapy that weaves together narrative, somatic, IFS, and Enneagram-informed modalities, I’d love to connect.

• Couples Enneagram Intensives: A deeply supportive half or full-day deep dive to help you and your partner uncover patterns, rebuild communication, and reconnect through the lens of your Enneagram types.

• Team & Corporate Enneagram Workshops: From creative agencies to leadership teams, I offer half- and full-day immersive experiences to help groups work more consciously, compassionately, and effectively together. If you want to bring this work into your company or organization this fall, now’s the time to book.

Whether you’re craving a new rhythm, a safe place to land, or a powerful next step, I hope something in this Back-to-School Edit resonates. Fall has a way of bringing us back to ourselves—and I’d be honored to walk alongside you.

Love & Gratitude,
Katie

🖤 P.S. Want to stay in the loop about new offerings and events?
follow along on Instagram @katiegustafson.co for all the updates.

How to Find the Right Therapist

Today, we’re getting real practical.  Let’s be honest: therapy feels a bit odd, awkward, and down right uncomfortable in the first place. How in the world does one go about finding a therapist who will not only make the first wobbly steps somewhat bearable, but also turn out to be someone we actually like?  And yes, contrary to popular belief, you’re going to need to like your therapist in order to trust them, let alone experience growth and healing.  

I had this conversation with my therapist a few weeks back.  Whereas I don’t believe we’re always supposed to be “in therapy,” I’ve always valued the sacred space of therapy as a sounding board and a refiner’s fire so to speak.  In other words, no matter what season I’m in, I depend on my therapist to challenge me, call my BS (bullshit and blindspots), and serve as a loving mirror when the reflection I see is less than compelling.  

Whether you’re in a tight transition or a season of loss, it’s imperative to reach out and find the help you need.  As someone who’s sat in therapy far longer as a client than a therapist, I relate to the struggle of finding the right fit.  It’s real.  Today,  I want to unpack this process as much as possible.  You’ve already got enough on your plate. 

Prep-work

Before launching on your quest, there’s some necessary prep-work.  Often times, it can be the most difficult part of the process.  

The first step is always to get still, spend about 10-15 minutes alone, and ask yourself what it is you’re needing in therapy.  This may seem obvious, but it’s not.  Oftentimes, we’re operating in crisis.  The survival strategies involved in crisis don’t provide much of a margin for conscious self-reflection.  It’s important to give yourself a small window of time and ask yourself three questions: a) what you need and b) what you want from therapy c) as well as, what obstacle ccurrently stands in the way of getting therapy? I find it easiest to write this pertinent information down in a journal or notebook.  This content will serve as a roadmap for the journey ahead.  

Once you’ve taken the time to explore these questions, here are five helpful guidelines to follow: 

The Quest

1. Logistics- Let’s get the unsexy bit out of the way.  First things first, you need to get clear on practical parameters such as location, budget, male vs. female, type of therapy (individual/couples/family), availability, and whether or not they offer a sliding scale or the opportunity to use insurance.  These will steer the next several steps accordingly.  It’s worth noting that while some practitioners do accept insurance, some insurance policies only allow for a minimum amount of sessions they will cover, making ongoing therapy an out-of-pocket expense.   Again, all good things to consider and inquire about based on your needs and privacy preferences.  Good Therapy and Psychology Today have wonderful directories and often provides answers to several of these basic questions.

2. Referral- Ideally, finding referrals from those who know you personally is the best place to start be it an existing physician, family member, pastor, or friend.  If possible, I always encourage people to start with their current sphere of influence when looking for therapist recommendations.  This is where I’ve always had the most luck. 

3. Style- Just like with dating, you’re not for everyone.  No matter how fabulous you are, you won’t be compatible with everyone attractive you meet (*sigh). I tell people this up front in therapy all the time.  I can’t help everyone and am quick to practice transparency when I feel another therapist might be more equipped to support someone with specific needs I don’t feel qualified to meet.  Do you want a no-nonsense, directive approach in therapy or would you prefer a softer, more indirect style?  (Or something in between? ) Do you seek a therapist who is faith-based? Do you appreciate someone of a specific age? These qualifiers will hopefully show up in the prep-work listed above.  

4. Expertise- If you’ve done therapy before and know certain modalities or tools that work for you, it’s important to bring this insight into your search.  Interviewing a handful of possible therapists is important so as to understand their approach and expertise.  Do you want to explore the Enneagram in your work? Do you need a grief or addictions specialist? Do you prefer brain-based therapies such as EMDR or Brainspotting?  Do you like talk-therapy or more of an experiential technique?  Do you need group therapy in addition to individual and which therapists provide this?  

5. Consult-  Most therapist will offer a free 15-30 minute phone consult.  You’re about to invest time and resources into the therapeutic process.  It’s vital to understand a bit more about the experience, training, and approach to therapy they have.  I always encourage this as sometimes we just need an opportunity to suss it out in a quick conversation.  Email is a great starting point, however I always like to get a feel for communication style and energy on the phone.  Having as many of the prior steps filled out is bonus so as to be able to clearly ask as many questions as possible.  (Also worth noting, if you need to stay within a budget, therapists who are newer to the field or working towards licensure will often provide a sliding scale rate based on your income.)

And listen, often times this “pre-production” business is a luxury.  Therapy is often a last resort as we find ourselves amidst chaos, crisis, and loss.  In these times, simply taking the brave first step to start therapy with someone and trusting the process to unfold as it should is all we can do.  

P.S. As a helpful checklist, I’ve posted The Cheatsheet: A no-hassle guide to finding the right therapist on my website!  Click here to download a free guide.  

Oh, P.S.S.  This goes without saying, but I’d LOVE to serve as a resource for you on your quest.  If you have questions for me, or need referrals, I’ve got some incredible ones for you.  Please reach out.

Love & Gratitude,

Katie