Join me for a very special event

Be honest, what do you think about when you hear the term “self-care?”

Spa treatments? Retail therapy? A long bath? A wine night with the girls?

Whereas all of these things sound fun, I’m not sure they are actually self-care.  Pampering? Sure. Indulging? Absolutely.  I’m convinced we can do better for ourselves.  

Oh, and what if self-care is not in fact, selfish.  I hear that a lot in my work with clients.  It’s a real blocker. 

What if self-care is easier, (and cheaper), than you think?  What if you could actually save tons of money in therapy by practicing a plan that would connect you to your truest self each week? Hell, you may even put me out of a job! :)

There is a time and a place for therapy; however, I believe if we feel empowered to practice the things that bring about positive change and care in our daily experience, we are able to create a life that truly breathes hope and vibrancy.  

As an Enneagram coach and therapist, I love equipping people to step out of the limiting box they’ve been in and better understand the true story about who they are.  There is simply no better tool in bringing about self-awareness and transformation than the Enneagram.  

So mark your calendars for the Self-Care Workshop, taking place Saturday, February 25, 2023 in Nashville.  We will go beyond information and do a deep dive into how this wisdom makes a tangible difference as we apply it to our lives through self-care.  Ally Fallon, a bestselling author and writing coach will help us infuse writing practices into this transformation process.   Koula, a brilliant communicator and my favorite yoga teacher on the planet, will show us how movement and mindfulness are scientifically proven to improve our overall health and well-being.  I will guide you through a basic understanding of the Enneagram and how to use it in your everyday self-care through practical application.  

Most importantly, you will leave with a plan.  That’s why we struggle with follow-through, right?  We lack a plan and ongoing support.  We’ve got that covered.  

Investing in yourself will not only greatly benefit you, but the ones you love as well.  It’s like getting six months of therapy in one solid weekend.  (There I go again, putting myself out of a job. ;)  

Can’t wait to see you in February!

In case you're wondering what to do next

When everything around me seems swirling and chaotic, I always return to the basics: what I know to be true.  

I remember as a kid, when I’d get super discouraged, dramatic, or disappointed, my sweet Dad would take me on a date (which normally revolved around food, ice cream, what have you), and remind me of who I was.  Not in a pep talky kind of way—more of a recalibrating kind of way.  My highly-sensitive self would get lost in the clouds of her great expectations and harsh inner critic and what I needed more than anything was to feel my feet on the ground.  

My Dad knew that.  Perhaps someone had done that for him somewhere along the way.

While I was clueless/terrified as to how to respond to my cancer diagnosis last April and the mash up of emotions sheltering inside me as a result, I kept coming back to this: when in doubt, do the next best thing.  Okay, okay, so I got a little inspiration from Anna in Frozen 2.  I guess it’s proof that the kid inside of you and me is indeed, a truth-teller.

Though we may not be able to control our circumstances or the world spinning out around us, we can take responsibility for how we respond and choose to grow forward. In doing so, we directly impact our sphere of influence big, or, in my case, small.  By becoming better humans, we build a better world.  By taking care of you, you create a greater opportunity for impact as you engage your family, friends, co-workers, and tribe.  

I believe the first step to becoming better humans is to wake up to what’s happening inside.  To develop greater self-awareness and self-knowledge.  There’s a difference after all!

Self-awareness is being conscious of how you feel, think, and act.  Self-knowledge takes it a step further and unpacks the “why” behind that awareness.  

The Enneagram gives us nine (or 27 if you factor in subtypes) lanes that map out how we get lost in our ego, or false self.  It carves out the self-knowledge as well, providing us with the “why” behind our often painful pursuits.  

Painful experiences in life wake us up from life’s unconscious slumber.  They invite us to quit pressing the snooze button and start living in wakeful presence.  It’s an opportunity to change the world around us by doing the next best thing–whether that is reaching out to a friend in need, speaking kindly to yourself, donating to a worthy cause, responding instead of reacting out of fiery emotion, practicing self-care, or hugging your child a little longer at bedtime.   

It’s about revisiting the classics we may have skimmed through in human school.  

Let’s get back to the truth of what we know, my friend.  By taking care of you, you’re taking control of what you can control.  When we build on a firm foundation, we can create a beautiful, soulful tomorrow.

Stressed? This is for you

Spoiler Alert: Guess what?

There will always be something to stress you out. Life is chock full of reasons. However, we will also always have the choice to lean into it or become enslaved to it.

In light of this, I believe our work is not avoiding stress—it’s learning how to relate to it.

Unfortunately, lots of us proudly (I’m so guilty) tout our epic workloads, deadlines, and lack of sleep around like we’ve just won a Nobel Peace Prize.

Let’s take a quick look at the neurobiology of stress.

First off, not all stress is bad, nor are the hormones stress creates in the body as a result. They ebb and flow throughout the day in order to help us adjust to the stressors of normal, everyday life. Moments like waking up (no joke!), getting to work on time, giving a presentation, getting a traffic ticket, and even being surprised on your birthday all require shifts in our internal ecosystem to stay regulated.

More good news, stress is highly manageable. We’ll look at ways to do so a bit later.

Long-term stress left unchecked however, is a different beast. Our bodies and brains weren’t created to undergo this brand of stress and anxiety. In fact, in as much as we think we’re being responsible and hardworking, we are directly inflicting ongoing toxic wounds on ourselves. This eventually will show in the form of negative, noticeable emotional and physical symptoms.

Neuroscientists at the University of California, Berkeley, have discovered that chronic stress produces long-term changes in brain structure and function. This sheds light on the fact that youngsters exposed to ongoing stress early in life likely will develop mental illness and mood disorders such as anxiety, depression, insomnia, and even learning difficulties.

As a natural line of defense, our adrenal glands produce a hormone called Cortisol when we’re met with stressful situations as part of the fight-or-flight mechanism. With good stress (eustress) these levels balance out once the threat of danger has passed and the body and brain return to normal.

However, in a state of chronic stress (distress), our friend Cortisol has no outlet to release and the body stays locked in this hyper fight-or-flight mechanism. This survival mechanism must be released physically from the body and when it’s not, cortisol levels skyrocket in the blood, declaring war on our mind and body.

The wreckage? Lower immunity and bone density, weight gain, sleep problems, memory loss, learning disability, irritability (duh), increased blood pressure, cholesterol, heart disease, and inflammation throughout the body.

If that list doesn’t convince you, I don’t know what will. Bottom line my friend, we must be vigilant in listening to the needs of our bodies and emotions and practice actively getting them met.

Here are a few helpful tips that will reduce the effects of chronic stress and resulting cortisol levels in the body:

1. Regular physical activity: I’m an exercise evangelist. This blew past vanity a long time ago as I experienced the direct positive effect daily exercise has on my mood and overall experience. It is my antidepressant of choice. We absolutely must move our bodies regularly to aid the release of cortisol from our bodies and support emotional processing.
   

2. Mindfulness practices: Mindfulness practices such as meditation and deep breathing are vital in reducing stress and cortisol levels. Why? They engage the Vagus nerve which signals your nervous system to chill out, slow the heart rate as well as cortisol levels. Next time you’re in the death grip of stress, take ten deep breaths. Panic cannot co-exist with a relaxed state. Click here for a free meditation I’ve created to support you in this practice.
   

3. Community: Social interaction is a powerful antidote for stress and anxiety. In fact, human bonding also triggers that Vagus nerve mentioned earlier, relaxing the parasympathetic nervous system. Not only that, social connectivity releases that yummy hormone called oxytocin, which directly lowers the fight-or-flight mechanism. That whole eight hugs in a day thing is real!
   

4. Laughter and music: Both are game changers and have been proven to lower cortisol levels. Not only that, but they invite us into the experience of the present moment, the most desirable real estate on the planet when it comes to experiencing more levity and joy.

Last thing I’ll say before I land this plane: we were created to thrive, not merely survive. However, some of life’s seasons require us to dig a little deeper into our resilience tool kit. If you find yourself needing some extra support these days, please reach out. I’d love to support you.

Loving What Is

What if the real way of personal transformation is more about subtraction than addition?  

What if, instead of white-knuckling our way through life, straining to gain more and more self-worth, meaning, and fulfillment, we could find a release in letting go?

When we use the Enneagram for deepening self-awareness and understanding, part of the special sauce includes unlearning—unbecoming the conditioned self or ego.   

Sounds a bit wacky, right?  I  know, but doesn’t it also bring a bit of  relief?   

Part of the reason we get stuck in the first place is by living out of old, broken narratives that don’t fit and aren’t true for us anymore.  Sure, they may have made sense to us early on in life when we were trying to navigate how to show up and be accepted in this world.   Yet, as we mature and become adults, life becomes more complex—more nuanced.  

The black and white stories of our youth won’t suffice in a world full of grey.  

Consider this, the Greek word for “personality” is persona, meaning “mask.”  Isn’t that interesting?  This helps me understand just how much we wear our masks of personality in order to protect our true identity, or the more vulnerable parts of ourselves we aren’t too sure about.  

I mean, what if I were to truly be seen for who I am?  I could be rejected, found out, for the fraud I really am?  

As an Enneagram four, I’ve had that thought more times than I care to count.  

The great news is our Enneagram type actually helps us identify the personality story we’ve been living out of for better or for worse.  By learning and understanding what that is, we bring more self-awareness into our moment-by-moment experience, allowing us to slow down our process and respond to life’s curve balls rather than reacting to them.   

As we slow that process down, we can choose something novel, something different—and better.  We can un-become the limiting parts of our stories that were written a long time ago and desperately need editing by our adult selves.  We can…wait for it…Love what is underneath all that hustle and exhaustion. 

What parts of your personality story keep you stuck?  What areas in your life do you long to unlearn—to release?  

Simply start there.  And ask yourself, “what would my life look like right now if I didn’t believe this story?” 

Want to dig a bit further?  I’d love to be your guide…

The Fall Edit: 2022

Fall is undoubtedly my favorite season. I feel a bit like Mr. Fitzgerald in that life seems to offer a second, and equally romantic, Spring, or new beginning when early October rolls around. Yet I’m also well acquainted with the struggles and temptations that come along with the changing seasons. The days get shorter, schedules mount up, self-care tends to wane, and I often feel a dank, subtle chill of loneliness sneak in.

Have you struggled much with seasonal depression?

I have…big time. That said, I’ve learned the hard way how vital it is to intentionally manage expectations and routines in order to stay connected to daily hope and healing. In light of this, I like to send out a Fall Edition of sorts—full of new ideas and opportunities to stay on top of our self-care game as we head into the coming months. If you follow fashion, it’s a bit like that thick, bounding, September Vogue edition boasting fall’s most delicious offerings. Pure magic.

This year, I’m more excited than ever to explore some new opportunities to connect to yourself and your community in life-giving ways.

All too often we’re tempted into autopilot—that sleepy trance of contained chaos—and end up just going through the motions. I don’t know about you, but I want to feel alive and awake in my experience this fall, savoring each moment like a gift—or that inaugural pumpkin spice latte.

Here are a few ideas to support you in this pursuit. I think you’ll find something you can enjoy despite the hectic demands of the season.

1. Virtual Group Enneagram Coaching: I’m thrilled to get back into the classroom, so to speak, this fall as I am now offering Group Enneagram Coaching from the comfort of your own laptop. The Practice is a self-development toolkit that combines practical ways to use the Enneagram, mindfulness, writing, and yoga in your daily experience in order to truly thrive and create the optimal life and relationships you desire. I created this self-care tool kit for clients who needed an extra nudge in their work outside of therapy. The constant drone I’d hear in my work with clients is simple: I need tools! So I developed the Practice to serve as a therapeutic tool kit combining meditation, writing, yoga, and of course, the enneagram, to support you in your ongoing self-development work. Sign up today and be a part of this powerful enneagram community.

2. Infrared Sauna: Need a detoxification boost? I sure did after going through chemotherapy last year for breast cancer. I decided to do everything in my power in order to support the highest immunity possible. I joined Pure Sweat Sauna Studio. Pure Sweat Sauna Studio is a space for wellness, rooted in community and connection, offering state-of-the-art, full spectrum, infrared saunas.

Acclaimed by the world’s leading health experts, elite athletes, and people just like you, Infrared Saunas deliver an abundance of clinically tested and research-based health and healing benefits, including detoxification, pain relief, weight loss, reduced inflammation, and deep, mental + physical relaxation.

3. Self-Care Workshop: When it comes to self care, you need a plan.
This weekend workshop will help you create a self care plan that gets you where you want to be. Join Ally Fallon, Koula Callahan, and myself, FEBRUARY 25, 2023 in Nashville, TN for a restorative and inspiring day you won’t forget!

Do you feel like you’re just ‘winging it’ when it comes to self care? Honestly — I get it. It’s hard to know what to spend your time on and what will actually contribute to your personal growth.

But self care doesn’t have to be complicated. You don’t have to guess anymore.

The Self-Care Workshop will help you create a simple self-care plan you can use daily to create lasting, positive change in your life. With a daily self-care routine you can practice on your own, you’ll gain clarity in your life and pave the path towards growth.

It’s simpler (and cheaper!) than you think.

Deepen your self-awareness with the EnneagramUnderstand why you think, feel and act the way you doDevelop healthier relationships with yourself and othersReduce anxiety and improve your mood

Don’t leave your self care up to chance. Come learn how to nurture yourself in a way that creates positive change in your life. Stay tuned for registration details coming soon!

You deserve this.

4. Breathwork: Breathwork is an active meditation technique that facilitates powerful emotional+energetic release. It can change emotional default settings, lifetime patterns of depression, anxiety and addiction, connect you to your intuition, and open your heart to increased gratitude and self-love. It is an efficient and effective way to emotionally detox. We receive 90% of our daily energy from breath alone and 70% of our bodily toxins are meant to be discharged through breath. What are the benefits? Release tension and everyday stress that makes you feel anxious, burned out, and overwhelmed.

• Creates a renewed sense of vitality

• Supports healing on all levels—physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual

• Brings balance to your life, allowing you to tap into your inner peace and joy

• As the energetic blockages are cleared, you are able to manifest what you want in your life effortlessly

• Leaves you with a deeply relaxed and calm state of being

Breathwork engages the nervous system to release tension and distress that negative thoughts and traumas cause in the body. Over time, healthier new neural pathways are developed and the nervous system is re-calibrated to bring optimal well-being.
For more info or to book a Breathwork session, contact the lovely Sarah Richey and take your wellness journey to a whole new realm.

5. Holiday Meditation Challenge: This Holiday season starting in November, I’m inviting you into an eight-week meditation challenge. You’ll receive a (free!) meditation each week with a specific grounding focus. For example, gratitude, self-compassion, presence, creativity, expectations, rest, etc. Meditation is an incredible way to deepen self-awareness, foster a sense of calm, as well as build out resilience in the midst of chaos. Plus, there will be a fun surprise give-a-way at the end of the year you WON’T want to miss!! Follow me on Instagram at @katiegustafson.co to join the party. :)

That’s a wrap! I can’t wait to hear how you’re taking care of you this fall…and hopefully see you at the Practice or in early 2023 for the Self-Care Workshop!