Open the Gift Inside

I want to take a quick minute to say a huge thank you and Merry Christmas!

Whatever your holiday traditions, it feels so important to me to take time out of all the busyness and hard work to celebrate those things that matter the most. 

After all, I fear as a culture, we’ve lost the art of celebration—and savoring. 

This week, as you may be in the midst of family gatherings, travel, or sneaking that third handful of toffee (I saw that ;), I pray you take a moment and celebrate the work you’ve done for you to untangle the false beliefs that have held you back in the past.  Isn’t that what we are tasked with on this glorious and often terrifying journey from the head to the heart?  Unlearning the stuff that doesn’t serve us anymore? 

Well, I’m proud of us!  We’ve been unraveling nicely this year and it’s time to do the important work of sealing it all in with love and celebration. 

Something that’s been stirring inside me lately is how to cultivate more faith.  This season, I want to unearth the faith and awe I had as a child.  The simple, yet stunning wonder that was there from the very beginning.  I want to unlearn a bit of the fear I picked up along the way.   Sure, it helped me survive for a bit, yet it has made my faith feel dim. 

Maybe it’s having a three-month-old (or my overall space-cadet-ness in light of sleep deprivation?)  Whatever it is, I love the idea of detaching from some of the “grown-up” fear in order to rediscover the childlike faith that’s our God-given birthright. 

This is good news for you and me!  Why? Because it means we’ve already got everything we need deep inside.   We get to rediscover it this season, and perhaps for the first time.  

If this feels weird and foreign, don’t worry, it should—letting go of what’s familiar in order to receive what’s new can be!  Your brain is not used to it!

We’ll get there, together.  We’re building this supportive community that will only grow stronger in 2020. 

This week, however, let’s celebrate—and savor—how far we’ve already come together. 

Thank you for joining me.  For having faith and putting one foot in front of the other, often blindly, in order to give yourself the gift of time and attention.  It’s important, life-giving work.

You are a gift to me…and I can’t wait to see what’s in store for the days ahead. 

Love & Gratitude,

Katie     

Why Meditation Matters...and you should be doing it

Meditation is a game-changer.  There are volumes of scientific research boasting all the reasons.  I’m sure they are quite thorough and convincing, too. 

However, today, I want to share from my heart and experience how meditation has and continues to change my life for the better.

This post is for all you fellow perfectionists, control freaks, planners, cardio-lovers, results-oriented, make-it-happen folks who feel 20 minutes of meditation sounds like a large helping of time-suck. 

Oh, I know you…

About five years ago, I began noticing an overarching intense physical discomfort out of nowhere (or so I thought.) My throat and jaw locked up.  My mid-back twisted in a knot.  It became difficult to sing and speak, even in sessions with clients.  Sleep became a distant wish. 

As a health-conscious, avid exerciser who’d done her fair share of work in therapy throughout the years, I felt discouraged—and powerless. 

After seeking out every alternative healing modality I could find, I noticed a subtle common theme emerge from acupuncturist, chiropractor, voice coach, energy healer, and therapist alike.  Quite simply, their sage voices all harmonized in a singular chord.  It was in the key of: RELAX.

I wasn’t depressed or anything.  In fact, I was quite content.  Yet I’d been running so hard on a treadmill of survival mode that had become my norm.  My body, brain, and emotions formed a strike, actively rebelling against the grueling pace I’d had them on for decades. 

Meditation has been my vehicle into this new world of rest, yet interestingly enough, it has also opened up my life in a new way, allowing for increased willingness and opportunities.  Funny how that works. 

Here are the three big reasons I think we should all be meditating:

1)     We build more self-awareness and self-acceptance.   Self-awareness is the biggest indicator of success in life, relationships, and work.  However, we’re so busy (and often stressed) we don’t carve out the time to practice the stillness required to grow that necessary muscle of self-awareness.   In my experience, I’d over-developed the muscle of self-criticism and judgment instead.  Practicing meditation or other mindfulness exercises allows space to unlearn that harsh inner critic and grow the safe, neutral observer needed to bake in healthy self-awareness, compassion, and positive sustained change.

2)    We release tension and toxins in our bodies that create long-term negative health effects. It was a lightbulb moment the day I made the connection between disease in our minds and bodies with literal “dis-ease” and tension we hold tightly within.  This stress, or contraction, will eventually exacerbate, causing much bigger health concerns down the road unless we learn how to release it.  Practicing meditation trains our bodies and minds to slow down and release that arthritic grip we unconsciously develop over time.  Added bonuses include better sleep, mood, energy, and creativity that crop up as a result. 

3)    We begin to connect to our essence, or true self, as we become aware of unconscious habits.  As we move from the false self (ego) to the true self (essence), we experience deep spiritual transformation.  It’s letting go of fear in order to embrace openness to something greater than ourselves.  We simply can’t do that if we are living out of our blind spots on autopilot.  Over time, as we commit to a meditation practice, a natural byproduct becomes this relaxation of old programming and an exploration of the love and curiosity that’s been there from day one.  We were born loving, open beings.  We learned fear to help us survive.  Yet, lasting positive change is rarely built on fear.  We must create the precious space in our days to excavate that little person inside that desperately longs to be seen and known.  She’s honest and wise beyond her years, too.  Some people swear practicing meditation over time slows down aging.  I can’t speak to that; however, I do believe connecting to the most loving and true parts of us inevitably lends a softer lens to whatever we may be facing in life.  In this sense, we do recover that childlike part of us that sees more beauty in everything. 

 This fall, I can’t wait to embark on an 8-week meditation journey with you!  Stay tuned for more on that and a deeper dive into the life-giving world of mindfulness. 

Love & Gratitude,

Katie

How to (really) know your Enneagram type

Do you go back and forth between Enneagram types?  Perhaps you’ve taken a few online tests and they’ve given you different results.   The first one pegged you a seven.  But it was neck and neck with type two.  You waited a couple months and took another one only to learn you’re now a nine?  Wha?  You’re confused and little pissed off because you had to pay for that last version. 

HELP!?

First off, don’t be discouraged! This is totally normal and you’re not alone! 

The human personality is not static.  It’s constantly vacillating between healthy, average, and unhealthy levels (hopefully not too unhealthy the more self-aware we are!) throughout our days, weeks, and months.

Online assessments can’t measure how tired, stressed, or emotionally aware you are.  They also can’t determine mood or how many cups of coffee (or glasses of wine) you’ve downed before taking them. 

Sure, they’re a helpful jumping off point.  (Some more than others!)  Yet fully knowing and Understanding your Enneagram type requires a bit more digging.  In fact, I believe it’s part of its effectiveness. 

There are dozens of personality tests out there:  MBTI, StrengthsFinder, DISC, to name a few.  I love them all, too!  However, the Enneagram is unique in that it goes deeper than surface, personality-driven behavior.  Sure, that’s part of it, but the Enneagram also helps us understand the “why,” or story, behind our thoughts, feelings, and resulting behaviors.   

Online tests simply can’t explain the sacred nuance of your story. 

However, doing the deeper self-study required to fully know your Enneagram type can. 

After all, we make choices, big and small, based on the story we’re living out of.  If we’re suffering, we must change more than surface tactics or behaviors.   In order to heal and transform, we’ve got to get to the root of the problem—we’ve got to understand our story. 

Self-discovery is a winding journey, not a mere moment in time.  It’s about deepening knowledge and understanding.  In fact, it’s really about self-befriending. 

If you’re on the fence about your type, good!  I believe it’s an invitation (and excuse) to deepen this beautiful self-friendship you’ve already started.  

So how?

You’re already further along than you think!

I’ve got a helpful next step for you.  Scheduling a typing interview is incredibly helpful in fully unpacking your story and discovering your type. It’s some of my favorite work to do with clients. Basically, it’s a detailed inquiry process steeped in the Narrative Enneagram tradition that provides your top 2-3 probable types.  This allows some direction and margin for clients to then read up on those possibilities and live with them a bit before making a hard decision.  

We do this in a creative, collaborative way with clear next steps mapped out.   Best part? It’s really fun!  

Spoiler alert: you are not a pure type.  No one is!  You lead with a primary type, yet you have a bit of all nine in you.  We are complex and glorious creatures, remember?  The Enneagram has the dynamic infrastructure to meet and guide this complexity into greater understanding and opportunity.

I’m convinced your story is far too stunning to be put in a box.  Perhaps it’s time to take it out?

Curious about an Enneagram typing interview?   Sweet! Let’s talk. 

Love & Gratitude,

Katie     

Your Story: How’s it working for you?

When was the last time you thought of yourself as “the artist of your days” as John O’Donohue handily puts it? 

Me? Not very often. 

In fact, I feel most days, the ballot’s still out depending on the quality of sleep I got the night before, strength of my morning coffee, and rigor of my to-do list. 

Wait a minute, though.  That feels victim-y and weak??  Hmm, perhaps.  Yet no matter how much A-Game we tackle our days with, we can all fall into that trap along the way.

Why?  Because we live out of stories.  Hundreds of thousands of stories we make up about ourselves and our lives every single day. 

Part of our work in self-development and therapy (especially when using the Enneagram) is to wake up to the stories we’ve been living out of, albeit unconsciously, for a very long time.  Often these stories are limiting, keeping us cramped and fixated in ways that hold us back from our fullest potential. 

It took landing myself at Vanderbilt Psychiatric Hospital for a week after a scary encounter with debilitating depression and resulting amnesia to wake up to the fact that my story was indeed, not working for me anymore.  That rock bottom crash shook me to that core.  Finally, I knew I needed to begin to write a new story…something kind and compassionate—something true.

And I did. 

The Enneagram has been a big part of this shift.  I believe it can be for you as well. 

Here’s even better news: you don’t have to check in to your nearest psychiatric hospital to experience this wake up call and resulting transformation.  I believe it awaits you now, as you read these words and go about your day. 

Here’s the deal though: waking up can be stressful.  It’s far easier to coast through life unaware.  (Well, until it’s not.) 

We all need support on this path of transformation.  We need light and encouragement to help us get from where we’ve been to where we long to go.  I believe we’re all on a similar journey in that we want to go home—home to the truth of who we are—home to all God has for us.   

If you feel stuck in the story you’ve been living, you’re not alone.  You don’t have to figure it all out from here, either.  I’d love for you to join my Enneagroup, an intimate, therapeutic monthly group where likeminded travelers unpack their stories and desires in order to discover their true north in the safety of community using the Enneagram as a roadmap. 

For more details or to sign up, click here.  I can’t wait to hear your story…and grow in our unique artistry—together!

Love & Gratitude,

Katie

How to feel better...effortlessly

Does this whole self-development-emotional wellness-healing journey feel all too uphill to you at times?  Like you’re doing all the stuff and reading all the books and the needle simply isn’t budging? 

If so, I feel you. 

I can honestly say I’ve come so close to bailing on this whole therapy gig more than once because of my frustration with the process. 

Yet the process is good and necessary.  It’s played a huge part in my story and countless others'.  It’s unfair to throw the baby out with the bathwater as they say. 

For me, one of the flaws in the system has always been the ineffective nature of therapy when we rely solely on talking about our trauma and other issues that landed us in therapy to begin with.  

Is it necessary to unpack our story? Absolutely.

Is it helpful to stay focused on that story? Not so much.  

I believe we need a deeper, more effective way to unlock healing and transformation.  

I don’t think fixating on the problem is the answer. 

Neuroscience and brain-based therapies have become a huge passion of mine throughout the past several years.  I’ve learned that oftentimes when we feel stuck in the past or a painful emotional experience, we can’t merely talk our way out of it in therapy.  We need something deeper—more effective and transformative—to compliment the process.   

This fall, I’m beyond thrilled to partner with NeurofeedbackNashville and offer you an opportunity to heal in a deeper way without working so hard in therapy.  Neurofeedback is a totally passive, restful experience that provides the following results (to name a few):           

• Increased self-awareness as your brain witnesses itself and its patterns in real time

• Your brain begins to mindfully choose its preferred optimal responses to life rather than defaulting to the same old feedback loops

• As your brain keeps training, this learned resilience—rather than reactivity—becomes a new unconscious skill

• In turn, you feel calmer (or more focused, joyful, or whatever it is that your unique brain knows you need)…without having to work so hard in talk therapy

Hear me out: it’s vital to do the necessary work in therapy to better understand your story and receive trusted support and guidance in seasons of need.  My desire for clients (and beyond) is to effectively and thoroughly work through those seasons and get back to living—and thriving—quickly.   

I believe brain-based therapies like Neurofeedback, are an excellent way to accelerate this process.   

Like most things I’m passionate about and want to share with you, Neurofeedback has been an important part of my personal and pregnancy journey as of late. Pregnancy was a mixed bag for me.  I loved the purpose and excitement of growing a human inside my body, yet I dealt with a good bit of depression and unexpected grief throughout.  I started doing Neurofeedback out of curiosity and was truly amazed by the results.  I don’t know how to describe it other than I felt more and more like the truest, most grounded version of myself.  I felt open, curious, and an increased sense of calm.  It allowed me to let go of some automatic fear responses I’d been stuck in for a long time.  

It’s not a magic pill, mind you.  We must live consciously in our daily experience, choosing truth and compassion over fear.  And yet I believe Neurofeedback makes this choice quite a bit easier. 

If you live in the Nashville area, I’d love to extend an incredible offer to you.  From now through Oct. 31, we’re offering nearly 50% off unlimited individual sessions when you use the code (TRAIN75).  Click here to schedule your first session.  (If you live elsewhere, I encourage you to find a Neurofeedback provider in your area!)  

As always, if you have any questions, reach out!  

Love & Gratitude,

Katie