The Power of Unbecoming
What if the real way of personal transformation is more about subtraction than addition?
What if, instead of white-knuckling our way through life, straining to gain more and more self-worth, meaning, and fulfillment, we could find a release in letting go?
When we use the Enneagram for deepening self-awareness and understanding, part of the special sauce includes unlearning—unbecoming the conditioned self or ego.
Sounds a bit wacky, right? I know, but doesn’t it also bring a bit of relief?
Part of the reason we get stuck in the first place is by living out of old, broken narratives that don’t fit and aren’t true for us anymore. Sure, they may have made sense to us early on in life when we were trying to navigate how to show up and be accepted in this world. Yet, as we mature and become adults, life becomes more complex—more nuanced.
The black and white stories of our youth won’t suffice in a world full of grey.
Consider this, the Greek word for “personality” is persona, meaning “mask.” Isn’t that interesting? This helps me understand just how much we wear our masks of personality in order to protect our true identity, or the more vulnerable parts of ourselves we aren’t too sure about.
I mean, what if I were to truly be seen for who I am? I could be rejected, found out, for the fraud I really am?
As an Enneagram four, I’ve had that thought more times than I care to count.
The great news is our Enneagram type actually helps us identify the personality story we’ve been living out of for better or for worse. By learning and understanding what that is, we bring more self -awareness into our moment-by-moment experience, allowing us to slow down our process and respond to life’s curve balls rather than reacting to them.
As we slow that process down, we can choose something novel, something different—and better. We can un-become the limiting parts of our stories that were written a long time ago and desperately need editing by our adult selves. We can….wait for it…Love what is underneath all that hustle and exhaustion.
What parts of your personality story keep you stuck? What areas in your life do you long to unlearn—to release?
Simply start there. And ask yourself, “what would my life look like right now if I didn’t believe this story?”
Want to dig a bit further? I’d love to be your guide.