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Let's Finish Strong
“For last year's words belong to last year's language. And next year's words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning."
-Melody Beattie
Last week, a dear friend said something so profound in conversation. I’ve been marinating in it since. She said, “I’m struggling to find my now. I’m either stuck in the past or out somewhere in the future. I desperately want to find my now.”
Can you relate to this? I sure can—especially in this eleventh hour of 2019. It’s tempting to camp out in what “could have been”: more productivity, success, health, passion, what have you. This temptation is then compounded by the seductive tendency to run tactics on a fresh new start right around the proverbial bend.
You know the drill. The diet and exercise folks join forces and broker a zillion dollar deal every fourth quarter counting on you and I to wake up January 1 after sipping on the stiff and steady cocktail of two parts bloated, one part foggy, and a heavy shake of shame. We buy in to the ultimate extreme makeover our resolution(s) of choice promises only to throw in the towel a week later hangry, and with the selfless support of your dearest pint: Ben & Jerry, or Stella Artois.
It’s so predictable, right?
I believe it’s high-time we outgrow this brand of insanity. Thankfully, there is another way. Conscious living invites us into self-awareness. If we accept this invitation, we immediately enter a room full of freedom—and responsibility.
Viktor Frankl, Austrian psychiatrist, Logotherapy creator, and Holocaust survivor, said it best, “Between the stimulus and the response, there is a space. In that space, there lies your freedom and power.”
These Holiday months present us with a vital passageway—a sacred space. Incidentally, it’s one of the tightest spaces in which to remain present and self-aware. If we consciously choose presence (that powerful space of the here and now), as opposed to the sugar-laced trance of consumerism, I believe we will finish strong.
“Buzz-kill much?” you ask.
Fair enough. However, I wholeheartedly believe our most powerful, abundant lives are built with consistency, brick by brick, and experienced moment to moment. Why? Because if I am present in each moment, I hold the keys to reality and connection. By this I mean, I live in wakeful presence and respond truthfully to my desires, needs, and those of others. I also forgo the trap of extreme, reactionary living.
Speaking of the needs of others, the Holiday season is often one of deep pain and loneliness in the hearts of many. I’ve known this pain well. Yet at the same time, there is this massive expectation to shine up the shell of appearance and ignore the voice of pain that hums a haunting cry for help.
When you and I narc-out in an unconscious trance, we are unavailable to those needs all around us. Likewise, we silence our own. Needs such as connection, compassion, and rest get overrun by the loud liturgy of commerce and consumption.
These next several weeks, give yourself and others this gift of presence. Enjoy the heck out of them, consciously choosing to come back to the moment, no matter how often the drone of chaos calls. Each time you make this choice, you step into your freedom...your power. Don’t bother eliminating the noise. That’s an isolating crap-shoot. Simply cultivate an inner peace amidst the noise as you loosen the grip of control and soften the lens of extremes.
Finishing strong looks more like staying soft than hustling hard.
Stay tuned next week on the blog for some practical tools to support you in this generous pursuit.
Love & Gratitude,
Katie
P.S. If you haven't signed up for my monthly EnneaGroup, it's not too late. To sign up for next week's in-person group or for the remote option starting later this month, click here.
How to feel better...effortlessly
“Neuroscience research shows that the only way we can change the way we feel is by becoming aware of our inner experience and learning to befriend what is going inside ourselves.”
-Bessel van der Kolk
Does this whole self-development-emotional wellness-healing journey feel all too uphill to you at times? Like you’re doing all the stuff and reading all the books and the needle simply isn’t budging?
If so, I feel you.
I can honestly say I’ve come so close to bailing on this whole therapy gig more than once because of my frustration with the process.
Yet the process is good and necessary. It’s played a huge part in my story and countless others'. It’s unfair to throw the baby out with the bathwater as they say.
For me, one of the flaws in the system has always been the ineffective nature of therapy when we rely solely on talking about our trauma and other issues that landed us in therapy to begin with.
Is it necessary to unpack our story? Absolutely.
Is it helpful to stay focused on that story? Not so much.
I believe we need a deeper, more effective way to unlock healing and transformation.
I don’t think fixating on the problem is the answer.
Neuroscience and brain-based therapies have become a huge passion of mine throughout the past several years. I’ve learned that oftentimes when we feel stuck in the past or a painful emotional experience, we can’t merely talk our way out of it in therapy. We need something deeper—more effective and transformative—to compliment the process.
This fall, I’m beyond thrilled to partner with NeurofeedbackNashville and offer you an opportunity to heal in a deeper way without working so hard in therapy. Neurofeedback is a totally passive, restful experience that provides the following results (to name a few):
Increased self-awareness as your brain witnesses itself and its patterns in real time
Your brain begins to mindfully choose its preferred optimal responses to life rather than defaulting to the same old feedback loops
As your brain keeps training, this learned resilience—rather than reactivity—becomes a new unconscious skill
In turn, you feel calmer (or more focused, joyful, or whatever it is that your unique brain knows you need)…without having to work so hard in talk therapy
Hear me out: it’s vital to do the necessary work in therapy to better understand your story and receive trusted support and guidance in seasons of need. My desire for clients (and beyond) is to effectively and thoroughly work through those seasons and get back to living—and thriving—quickly.
I believe brain-based therapies like Neurofeedback, are an excellent way to accelerate this process.
Like most things I’m passionate about and want to share with you, Neurofeedback has been an important part of my personal and pregnancy journey as of late. Pregnancy was a mixed bag for me. I loved the purpose and excitement of growing a human inside my body, yet I dealt with a good bit of depression and unexpected grief throughout. I started doing Neurofeedback out of curiosity and was truly amazed by the results. I don’t know how to describe it other than I felt more and more like the truest, most grounded version of myself. I felt open, curious, and an increased sense of calm. It allowed me to let go of some automatic fear responses I’d been stuck in for a long time.
It’s not a magic pill, mind you. We must live consciously in our daily experience, choosing truth and compassion over fear. And yet I believe Neurofeedback makes this choice quite a bit easier.
If you live in the Nashville area, I’d love to extend an incredible offer to you. From now through Oct. 31, we’re offering nearly 50% off unlimited individual sessions when you use the code (TRAIN75). Click here to schedule your first session. (If you live elsewhere, I encourage you to find a Neurofeedback provider in your area!)
As always, if you have any questions, reach out!
Love & Gratitude,
Katie
(Video) Welcome to the Enneagram
It’s your road, and yours alone. Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you.
-Rumi
It’s your road, and yours alone. Others may walk it with you, but no one can walk it for you.
-Rumi
If you know me in this life you’re probably aware of how much I love the enneagram. Ten years ago, I discovered this incredible resource and have passionately been going deeper into its wisdom: reading, studying, and applying it in my own life as well as in our therapeutic journey.
More
The enneagram is more than a personality test, it’s more than a spiritual tool, and it’s more that a book. For this reason, I’ve been a bit hesitant to introduce it through a traditional blog post. No, this is far to dynamic and precious to simply slap on several hundred words, a pretty image, and call it a day.
Companion
For me, the enneagram has been a patient and wise companion gently revealing layers of insight into the truest, most essential parts of who I am as well as those I love. It has given me invaluable insight into relationships and explained the driving forces for why we do the things we do, both good and bad.
Interview
Today, I am still too intimidated to give you a 101 on the enneagram, however I want to tell you about a podcast interview I recently did with a man whose grasp and application of enneagram truth blows me away. Ian Cron has done many things well. He is an author, therapist, priest, award winning songwriter, and teacher. Last year, he co-authored The Road Back to You: Looking at Life through the Lens of the Enneagram, a clever, insightful, and applicable approach to the enneagram. We had the best time chatting about all things enneagram, and I can’t wait for you to hear that interview.
Identity
We talk so much about the power of identity on this platform. I firmly believe knowing who we truly are and likewise who we are not, is a massive step towards personal freedom. If you are into this, yet perhaps feel overwhelmed by the sound of it, you’re in the right place. I’d love to partner with you on that journey, diving deeper into this beautiful tool called the enneagram, as well as providing additional resources to help you unlock your highest, most authentic self.
Step One
Today is the first step of this new journey and I’m so glad you’re here. Stay tuned for my upcoming interview with Ian Cron in the coming weeks and get a head start by checking out his new book, The Road Back to You: Looking at Life through the Lens of the Enneagram.
Have a wonderful weekend! Love & Gratitude,
Katie
xoxo