Is your WHY compelling enough?

Let’s be honest.  I have no idea what personal freedom looks like for you right now nor do I pretend to think I have any answers you don’t already know.  You are the expert at you.  
 
However, I do know what personal freedom does NOT look like for you or me or anyone for that matter.  It does not look like your best friend, your mom, your therapist, some celebrity, or Instagram’s suggestions.  Sure, feedback and wise counsel are important.  The catch is, if you don’t have total buy-in, it stays just that—someone else’s advice.  
  
Last week, I wrote about the importance of slowly easing into the new year, practicing healthy habits, not making extreme, reactionary changes.  It’s those tiny, two-degree shifts that make lasting impacts, like my wise friend Miles Adcox teaches out at Onsite Workshops.  
 
As a follow-up, I want to sit with a question this week that might help steer your ship in the direction of greater personal freedom.
 
Here it is: 
 
One year from today, if you woke up feeling full of excitement and confidence, what would be different in your life?  What would be the same?  
 
And here’s the clincher…
 
Why?
 
Take a few minutes to paint that picture either in your mind or a journal.
 
Maybe it’s a career change, a new relationship, financial freedom, physical health and energy, or maybe some much needed personal healing.  
 
Whatever it is, I believe acknowledging this desire is the first and most important step.  
 
The second?  Saying “yes” to it.  Every day.  
 
When we align with our heart’s desires, powerful shifts start to happen on our behalf.  
 
The follow-through seems to be tough though, right?  That’s my experience.  I believe this is because we lose sight of our ‘why.’  Or, perhaps our ‘why’ isn’t compelling enough in the first place.  
 
I heard someone say recently that if your vision for your life only benefits you, it isn’t big enough.  
 
Losing weight in order to have a healthier lifestyle and attract a new relationship is great—truly.  However, we can go bigger.  It will also allow you to feel more confident and contribute more value to the world and attract more opportunities.  It will help you show up in every area of life and be more present because you feel better.  It will inspire others to follow your lead.  We could go on…
 
In light of personal freedom, when your “why” is compelling enough, the follow-through becomes tangible.  
 
I love the fact that you and I are called to be the truest version of ourselves possible.  I’m not doing anyone any good if I wake up each morning trying to fit into someone else’s story.  I’ve been down that winding road. It’s exhausting.  
 
So, what do you say we do a bit of decluttering this week and leave all the other noise behind? Maybe It’s time to get clear on your picture of personal freedom and make some lasting changes.
 
Are you ready?
 
Love & Gratitude,

Katie

I Wish I'd Had This 5 Years Ago

I’ve heard it said, as writers, our ideal audience is us, five years ago.  So, at 40, I’m writing to my 35-year-old self.  After all, we write what we know.  I suppose the lessons of life take a solid three to five years (at least!) to really get into our bones.
 
This definitely checks out for me.  Whereas I value every leg of the journey, looking back I cringe to see some of the harrowing passages I traversed all in the name of stubbornness.  Five years ago, I was on a tear, hustling in about 20 different directions all in the name of worthiness.  I had one speed…fast.  Even though I’d come along way on my journey of healing and wholeness, I was swinging hard in the direction of impossible expectations for myself and my life.  
 
In fact, I was so worn out, my body started to slowly break down, manifesting all sorts of back, neck, and jaw pain.  Even though I didn’t feel depressed, my body began calling out for some attention as there was still some work to be done deep inside.  Sure, I’d been a therapist for a while, yet I needed to take my own advice and stop ignoring parts of me that desperately needed some love.
 
Let’s just say, I was seriously confused about the whole self-care thing.  I worked out hard, I enjoyed time with girlfriends, I went for the occasional mani/pedi, I journaled here and there, but I never fully stepped off the treadmill of what I’ve come to call my internal split.  By this I mean, my disconnection from myself and the present moment.  I was always somewhere else, “out there.”  Self-care felt like a detour— a delayed pitstop or something.   
 
Fast-forward to today.  A lot has happened.  I got married, had my first child, and woke up to the glaring fact that something needed to change if I wanted to actually show up authentically for my family and my dreams.  My internal split needed an internal shift.  I knew a different set of circumstances wouldn’t change anything.  For the first time in my life, I knew I had to quit hustling for my worthiness and start caring for the little girl inside who was flat out tired.   
 
I’d mistaken self-care for something to be checked off the to-do list quickly to return to life as I knew it.   It felt squishy—or weak or something.   It became a way to numb the soreness after a long day, like a couple of glasses of wine or a nice long bubble bath.   Whereas those things are lovely, they never seemed to make me feel alive or more me. Relaxing? Yes. Connective? Hmmm…not so much.
 
I wish I’d known what true self-care is five years ago.  I wish I’d had a roadmap, or ritual, to practice on the regular that was grounding, healing, and life-giving.   Sure, I did eventually figure it out by the grace of God and some hardcore burnout. Maybe this was exactly as it should be.  However, I’d like to break the fall for anyone who’s curious. 
 
I believe we get good at whatever we practice.  Resilience in life is really about practice.  True self-care is simply nurturing resilience and compassion through practice in our everyday life.  It’s about bringing our whole self online—integrating mind, body, and spirit. 
 
If you feel you could use a tune-up, re-write parts of your story, and revamp the way you relate to yourself in 2020, here’s the perfect opportunity.  Please join me and my incredible friends Ally and Koula at the Self-Care Workshop coming up Feb. 8-9  in Nashville.   Using the Enneagram, writing, and yoga, we will deep dive into what self-care really is and what it looks like specifically for you right now.  
 
It’s going to be so much fun and deeply transformative.  Me (and my 35-year-old self) can’t wait to see you ;).   

Love & Gratitude,

Katie

A Confession, Some Exciting News & A Favor to Ask

Spring has officially sprung and we made it through to the end of daylight savings time, which in my book, is something glorious to celebrate.  Can I get an amen from any of you seasonally affected friends out there?  

Spring is typically a time symbolizing new beginnings.  We dial into more regular fitness routines, we edit our wardrobes, and we clean the dusty baseboards of our lives in order to create a bit of fresh forward momentum.  It’s exciting, right?

In my experience, it can also be a time to bite off too much.  A rush of energy kicks in and I feel like I can take on the world, so I over-commit and find myself sitting cross-legged and frustrated on the floor of my office wondering how I got there.  

Do you ever feel this way?

I did this last spring as I kicked off my podcast.  I freaking LOVE podcasts and find myself looking for any opportunity to be alone in the car or in between clients at work so I can listen to one of the hundreds I subscribe to.  If I didn’t text you back, it’s not because I didn’t want to.  

I probably was just in a podcast haze starting at the ceiling.  Sorry about that.

Well, I lined up some incredible first guests (Ian Cron, Matthew Perryman Jones, and Miles Adcox to name a few), got into the work, and after airing three episodes, quickly discovered I was in over my head.  My "Operation: Podcast" had failed.  

Or had it?  

I always try to see failures as opportunities.  Where was the opportunity here?  The opportunity was to get crystal clear on my vision.  I learned something highly important: without vision, action is only haphazard at best.

I’ve spent the last several months crystalizing a vision for the community I want us to build, and the exciting news is, along with the podcast, I’m bringing you some opportunities to connect to this lovely healing arts community by hosting some cool upcoming events starting in April! Whoop!

You will be hearing more on that in the near future. However, I wanted to plant the seed as well as ask a favor.
 
You hear from me a LOT.  Yet you are the heartbeat of why I do what I do.  That said, I really need to hear from you to continue to build out this vision.  Would you pretty please take five minutes and fill out this survey?  There are seven questions that will seriously help me direct the next steps of the blog, events, the podcast, and more!  

Thank you, seriously.  Time is precious, and I value yours (as well as your feedback!). I can’t wait to hear what you have to say.

Love & Gratitude,
Katie
xoxo