My one year anniversary

May 26, 2022 was my bilateral mastectomy one-year anniversary.  So naturally, I threw a party.  It felt necessary, not frivolous.  Ever since coming through my battle with breast cancer and getting way too close to life’s fragile edges, I’m reflecting on the importance of celebration.  

And not just from a fun, put on your party dress and dance mindset.  I’m all for fun, yet I believe deep down that celebration is good for the soul and the mind.  

Life is hard.  We’ve all learned this in living color throughout the last two years.  What doesn’t really help the matter is that human beings tend to be “velcro for the negative and teflon for the positive” as I once heard it described.  We come by this dynamic honestly.  We as humans are wired for survival.  Primal man was set on high alert, scanning for danger and foraging food to score the daily meal.  Therefore we have a negative bias.

The fight-flight-or-freeze fear mechanism allowed our species to not only survive, but evolve throughout generations.  

Today, our realities are much different.  Hopefully we know where our next meal is coming from and aren’t running from a drooling beast rocking a big appetite and sharp teeth.  

And yet we haven’t necessarily outgrown this negative bias that’s carried us through into the modern world.  We tend to hope for the best and count on the worst in order to protect us from the vulnerability of joy made manifest in possible disappointment.  Again, humans are wired for safety, not a risky celebration.  I call this the Other Shoe Syndrome.  What if you get your hopes up and then the other shoe drops? Brené Brown calls it foreboding joy. Instead of basking in joyful moments, we self-protect and beat vulnerability to the punch.  This scarcity is part of our human biology and design.  

Now, that’s NOT to say that we can’t work to soften this prickly edge.  Neuroplasticity, or the brain’s ability to rewire, form and reorganize synaptic connections—basically to create new realities despite conditioning and genetics—proves we can change.   

Do you know how we do this?  

You guessed it…we celebrate.  When we make it a point to consciously celebrate little victories, progress, togetherness, and people in our lives, we retrain our brains to override our brain’s natural negative bias.  When we celebrate, we fire and wire new neuropathways that eventually help us create a more joyful, abundant life.  

I don’t know about you, but I am here for abundance.  I am here for deep and meaningful relationships.  I am here for the joy that longs to be chosen as we bow down to gratitude over resentment.  I’m here for the party.

This week, intently look for one or two small things to celebrate.  And do it like you mean it.  You never know, you might just start finding more where that came from.