Self-Care for Heart Types (2s, 3s, and 4s)

Are you or someone you love a heart type on the Enneagram?  

Let me tee this one up.

The Enneagram is made up of nine core personality types.  These nine types are housed in three different triads that coincide with the dominant center of intelligence that drives their experience in life.  Eights, Nines, and Ones are body types.  Twos, Threes, and Fours are heart types.  Fives, Sixes, and Sevens are head types.  

Of course, we all have each center of intelligence, however, depending on our dominant Enneagram type, we lead with one.  This month in the Practice, my Enneagram-based self-care membership program, we deep dive into what it means to practice self-care as a heart type, so  I thought it would be fun to invite you into that conversation. 

I believe self-care is a process of self-befriending—self-compassion.  That said, part of the process is bringing gentle balance into our experience where imbalance exists. When we use the Enneagram for personal transformation, this is one of the first places we start—balancing the centers.  

Heart types perceive or filter the world through the lens of emotional intelligence.  They are highly attuned to the feelings and moods of others in order to get their own needs for connection and approval met.  Due to this, they often conform to be whoever you need them  to be.  It’s a way of overdoing this particular center.  As a dominant type 4, I can tell you this gets exhausting.  

When I realized not everyone cared so much about how people experienced them, I was shocked if not relieved.  As William Shakespeare wrote, “No prison is more secure than the one you don’t know you’re in.”  Waking up to the prison cell of conformity was a doozy, yet eventually, freeing.  

The invitation here is not to turn down the emotional intelligence heart types use so seamlessly.  Self-care on a basic level for these sensitive souls looks more like dialing up the other two  centers of intelligence, the head and body.  Connecting to a more analytical, data-driven approach as well as a more grounded, steady energy.  The goal here is to experience life and relationships with openness and fluidity.  We need our whole being to do this.  

One of the most powerful truths that has tethered my self-care as a heart type is this:

Just because you feel something doesn’t make it true.

Oftentimes, directing your focus of attention away from feelings and simply moving your body, breathing deeply, and writing down the facts of the situation at hand can feel really life-giving.  

Don’t worry, you can always come back to those cozy feels.  For today, explore what it means for you to embody the whole of you, body, mind, and heart.  

If you’re curious to dive deeper into more therapeutic self-care for your Enneagram type—mind, heart and body—check out the Practice.  

Love &  Gratitude,

Katie

P.S.  Speaking of Heart Types, I’m thrilled to go live with Enneagram 2, Anna Watson Carl, to talk about all things career for these lovely, relational people. Tune in this Wednesday, May 24th  at 12 pm CST on Instagram Live.