The Problem with Goals
Today’s thoughts are a bit more like a brain dump than a blog post. (How’s that for a disclaimer?) But I do think you may resonate, so stay with me.
I’ve been thinking a lot about goals lately. Maybe it’s my over-active three wing (the achiever) or maybe it’s something of a spring cleaning as daylight savings is right around the cold corner. Either way, I’ve carved out some big goals for myself.
How do you approach goals? Do they feel supportive? Restrictive? Unrealistic? All or nothing?
Me? All of the above.
Typically, I’ll hunker down with my laptop and an oat milk latte and energetically list out what I want to accomplish in the week, months, and year ahead. I love the energy involved in this process—sky’s the limit and I like to fly high. And then, I peruse the final holy grail, and I….leave it there?
Yep, I save it in a folder and let it collect virtual dust on the shelf, taking with me only a few of the highlights rolling around in my head and no clear plan of action.
I know what you’re thinking. “But they have planners for this!” Wah, wah. I know I HAVE THEM.
Here’s the deal. I believe goals aren’t the answer for a few different reasons.
They create a destination where you will find satisfaction only when said destination is reached. I like to call this contingency living. I’ll be happy when (I lose 10 pounds or get the book deal or run the marathon.)
They often set us up for failure because they’re too big and lack a plan.
They take us out of the present moment, eyes fixed on the prize ahead. We end up missing out on our lives always living for the payoff.
They don’t address the identity shift that must happen to effect longterm change.
So, what if we learn to fall in love with the process instead of the goal. What if we create a doable, enjoyable, and realistic plan that focuses on tiny changes—shifts—along the way? In doing so, we not only create momentum, we start to see ourselves in a different, more empowered light. We step into a new identity, a new story, that aligns with the type of person who achieves your desired outcome.
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