Fools Rush In - A New Year, A New Approach

Happy New Year! No, DECADE! Wow, we made it!

It’s weird, but January is one of my favorite months. It’s like waking up in the morning, walking outside, and discovering a thick blanket of powdery white snow covering every surface, untouched. The often charged emotions that accompany the holidays have subsided. The chaos of consumerism has quieted down a bit. We all wake up to a fresh new start, hopefully without a pounding headache.

If you’re like me, and I have a hunch you are, it’s tempting to get sucked into a different kind of noise, equally as distracting, yet cloaked in the subtle sounds of “self-improvement.”
In fact, your inbox is probably chock full right now of emails screaming, “New year, New You!”, or “Five failsafe ways to lose the Holiday Bloat,” or even, “Manifest your best year yet!”
While good intentioned, I think there’s a better approach to “turning over a new leaf” that doesn’t leave you whiplashed and disappointed.

It might not sound as sexy, but in my seasoned experience biting off all kinds of extremes, the sparkle tends to fade about two weeks in when the hype of sweeping promises won’t carry me one minute further into this or that resolution, goal, or intention. In fact, I might even land myself flat-faced in the quicksand of self-sabotage and that shame spiral is a ride I’d like to avoid this year.

Make no mistake, I wholeheartedly believe we must live with intention. And I love a proper goal-setting. Yet, I’ve also become keenly aware of my tendency to rush into the general direction of, you guessed it, just another distraction in an effort to escape what it is I really deep down want.

So what’s the solution? How do we make lasting, life-giving changes in order to build out the new year and beyond?

We ..... listen.

Oh and another thing. We... slow down.

This might seem counterproductive, especially in light of what the experts might be saying. But I believe you are your own expert and the fastest way to get where you’re trying to go starts with your deep down desires. Your desires speak from your bones—your body—your heart.
We’ve just been on a wild goose chase to survive the swirl of the holidays. This is a time to connect back to that wise voice inside. This is NOT a time to jump on someone else’s bandwagon boasting fast results.

Let’s resist the temptation to blindly rush in to 2020. It’s time to take the reigns back.
Let’s get quiet and listen to that still small voice inside. She knows a thing or two. And she loves you...desperately.

She also knows exactly how and when to soar. She was born to.

Love & Gratitude,

Katie

P.S. Want to carve out some time to really discover what you want and need in the new year? Join me Feb. 8-9 for The Self Care Workshop. Click here for details.

I Saw the Light (thanks to my mentor)

“The delicate balance of mentoring someone is not creating them in your own image, but giving them the opportunity to create themselves.”
-Steven Spielberg

Hub

This month, we’ll be diving into relationship deeper than we’ve done before. At the root of it all, I believe we have this fiery desire to be seen, known, and accepted as the colorful birds we truly are. Relationship is the hub of this wheel called life and out of it, the spokes of our experience are filtered, tethered, and redeemed.

Heaven

There are countless types of relationships that create meaning and safety in life. This week, we focus on mentoring, the beautiful and life-shaping relationship that has proven invaluable for me. I must also note that I write this from a place of loss and heartache upon just hearing of the unexpected death of a remarkable woman who I had the privilege of working for several years ago, and who has been a beacon of light, joy, and encouragement for countless lives she’s touched. Robin Holland will be remembered in the Mentor’s Hall of Fame, as she surely mastered this selfless role all along the way. Heaven is a much brighter place with her sweet smile and song, embellishing its general splendor.

Align

One of the best words of advice I ever got early on was this: identify the people who inspire you and are doing the work you love and believe in, and then go align with them in some way, directly or indirectly. This has proven so valuable for me in everything I’ve put my mind to, whether music, business, therapy, or writing.

King

Connection is King when thriving is our focus, therefore strategically aligning with mentors who have stood in our footsteps and made it out on the other side victoriously is everything. We talk a lot about “finding our voice” here. I’m so passionate about facilitating this process for others not because I have anything remarkable to say, but because I’ve found my wobbly way by walking in the steady footsteps of mentors who’ve graciously given me courage to spread my wings.

Cover Songs

I like to think of it this way: when we first start to learn an instrument, we typically do so by learning the well-known, beloved songs of others, not by expecting ourselves to create genius out of nothing. I suppose Mozart and a few others were exceptions to the rule, yet I’m pretty aware of my need to stand on the shoulders of giants in order to one day improvise. Singing cover songs gives us confidence and phrasing that mold and eventually nudge us off the ledge, flapping and flailing our wings of authenticity. A good mentor will always stretch us beyond those comfortable, familiar scales and into the original songs we’re meant to sing.

Holes

No matter where we are in our career path or vocation, there is ample opportunity to lean into this beautiful brand of relationship. So what exactly is a mentor? I like Oprah’s simple definition: “A mentor is someone who allows you to see the hope inside yourself.” We all need loving mirrors of hope at different times along the way; those who’ve earned the right to poke holes in our story and offer a flashlight in times of darkness. We also tend to get so weighed down by the narrative of our own scarcity and frustration, we forget about the constant opportunity to lighten our load by sowing into someone desperately in need of hope.

Angela

Perhaps John Donne said it best: “No man is an island.” Pride-fueled isolationism is futile. We create and live most fully from a supported, safe place. I make no bones about the fact that I’d be completely lost and in the fetal position of a cold, dark room without the skill, patience, teaching, and opportunities given freely by my mentor, Angela. I’m humbled by her belief in me and beyond grateful for her wisdom and gifting.

Run

Who is your mentor? Are you in a place of transition or confusion as to where you are and where you are going? I’ve been there so many times along the way and know the bleakness of those corners. If today’s post sparked some desire in you for this type of connection, I’d love to help you find this if possible. Also, if you have ideas and insight into this process, please comment below. Loneliness is epidemic in this fast-paced, sprawling world of ours. I deeply desire for this to be a place we discover connection, feed on hope, and run with resilience.

Love & Gratitude,

Katie
xoxo

Play to Get Ahead

We don’t stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.

-George Bernard Shaw

Salt

I’m in the throes of studying for the NCMHCE board exam for the third time now.  I failed it the first two times, or should I say, I learned a lot from the first two times (wink wink ).  It’s the hardest damn test I’ve ever taken and has required more than a whole year of my life to hopefully pass.  I’m seasoning my approach this time around with a heavy hand of confidence, salted ever so intentionally with openness and a good sense of humor.  Lord knows this process has been quite humbling.

Student

In light of this seeming year-long testing “detour”, I’ve simultaneously become a wide-eyed student of myself.  Perhaps my most surprising finding in the process is how vitally important play is as it pertains to success.  Success can feel super nebulous, so I’ll define it as achieving a desired outcome in this context.

Imagine

Imaginative play is not just for kids, OR people who make stuff for a living.  Play is integral as it pertains to work-life balance.  I sometimes refer to play as white space: carved out time to let the mind, body, and imagination reset and be free to engage in the moment’s fullness, though seemingly minuscule and unrelated to the task at hand.  Play might seem silly– for kids, however, we actually must play to get ahead.

Reverb

For example, have you ever found yourself completely zoned out in the shower when a brilliant idea hits like a warm crashing wave from out of nowhere? Perhaps it was the gracious tiled reverb that filtered your morning song and flagged the idea gods, welcoming their favor. Or perhaps you were so engaged in the moment and stressful thoughts and to-do’s  were momentarily sidelined.  Hmmm, perhaps a bit of both?  Ideas happen most often when we’re engaging in something different, something simple.

Cortisol

Another example is weight loss.  Interestingly enough,  it’s quite common for people wanting to lose weight to get so stressed out throughout their process that despite doing diet and exercise perfectly, the number on the scale doesn’t budge, heck, it may even rise.  Why is this?  When we’re highly stressed, greater amounts of the stress hormone cortisol are released in the body which produces resistance and sends us into fight or flight, ultimately holding onto the unwanted weight.  Balance, rest, play, and variety are all necessary to keep our body’s equilibrium and functioning in tact.  Excessive productivity will eventually crash and burn, as will obsessively striving to reach a forced goal.  We’ve got to get off the proverbial treadmill and go build a sandcastle.

Build

In my recent experience studying, I’m learning to build in practices that stimulate imagination and enjoyment instead of solely relying on my ability to pass these god-awful, counter-intuitive simulations that I’ve come to ultimately dread.  Despite knowing the information, I was failing them left and right.  Stress and anxiety prevented me from applying knowledge I’d amassed over months of studying.  Makes sense, right?  If I enjoy what I’m doing, chances are, I’ll naturally come out ahead more often than not.  We perform better when we learn to enjoy the process, not just the outcome.  

Rihanna

So, what’s the application?  Here are some helpful ways to get off the stringent productivity treadmill and play in the waves of possibility and imagination that eventually carry us further, with more fun.  “Work work work work work….” Rihanna got it all wrong.

Factor in some solitude

Carve out some time to connect with yourself, your emotions, your thoughts, and your imagination.  Solitude is not a lonely place.  We’re never alone when our imagination is engaged.

Become the observer

Non-judgement is critical as we cultivate more play in our lives.  Curious people are rock star observers.  For me, the posture of curiosity has been a life-saver this past year!  Guided meditation is a powerful catalyst in the transition from harsh judgment to open observation.  Need more help?  Go spend the afternoon with your favorite three-year-old.

Practice spontaneity

Do something different.  Changing up our routine and physical movement throughout the day seems insignificant, but both facilitate a nimble, vivid imagination.  Set up your workspace in a new coffee shop, take the scenic route home, ditch the gym and find a winding hiking trail somewhere green.

Go on a date

You heard me.  Go on a date…with you!  Find a couple hours in your week and plan something special, then go! Connecting with the dreamer inside happens when we honor and make space for him/her.  Check out the latest museum exhibit, movie, or whatever lights you up.

Goals are so very important.  I love goals!  However, we can’t be rigid with our goals.  They should serve us, not the other way around.  The willingness to be open and deviate from our goals when necessary is central to this journey.  Goals are stepping stones.  If we see a better way across the creek, let’s take it and build there.  Play is really about shifting perspective. Personally, I’d much rather look through the wide-eyed gaze of a child each passing day than get locked into the stale, listless stare of a forgotten dream.  So, simply…let’s go play.

Love & Gratitude,

Katie

xoxo