Your Childhood and the Enneagram

People often ask me, “What is your process when working with clients?”  

To which I typically reply, “We co-author a new story.”

As it relates to transformation, the Enneagram invites us into the powerful and creative work of rewriting our stories.  

After all, many of us have been living out of a story that was written somewhere back in early childhood and we wait until some type of crisis or loss to identify that story, hold it up to the light, and ask ourselves if it’s still working for us.

Children are brilliant story tellers. They are not so gifted as translators.  

Let me explain. When little people start to connect the dots of life, somewhere around five or six, they create little stories about themselves and the world around them.  Typically, these stories are very black and white, i.e. I didn’t get picked to play with on the playground.  There must be something wrong with me.  

Over time, we keep connecting the dots of life and tell ourselves stories that somehow keep us safe and secure along the way. These stories create certainty—yet they lack context—and aren’t necessarily true.  

So what do we do as we grow up? We use these stories, or personalities, to help us show up in the world and be liked, helpful, and successful.

Fast forward to adulthood. Our world looks much different and yet we are still living, albeit unconsciously, out of a story that was written so long ago. Therein lies the rub—we’ve forgotten who that little person is underneath the conditioned self.  In fact, we become so identified by the workings of our personality, or ego as its often called, we bump up against challenges and discord in our relationships, career, and emotional landscape.

And so, we dig deep.  We uncover the stories of our personality—the why behind how we think, feel, and act—we hold it up to the light with compassion and kindness, and we start the editing process.   

But first, we must go back and understand our stories.  

In fact, I have the perfect opportunity for us to do just that.  

I am thrilled to partner with my friend and Enneagram icon, Beatrice Chestnut, in promoting her upcoming (tomorrow!) virtual one-day workshop called Early Childhood Development and the Enneagram.  I know, I know, it’s literally right around the corner, but when you register, you will  receive recorded access to the event so you can learn at your own pace.  I can’t wait to learn more about how our Enneagram types tell us so much information about our childhoods from Bea, especially as a therapist.  

I hope you’ll join me!