Your Enneagram Type on Gratitude

In just a few weeks, many of us will gather around a table topped with a smattering of delectable turkey variations and some comfy, butter-laced sides—throw in a few pies, and give thanks for all the good things in this life.  We will do our best to keep the conversation above board, leaving family grievances and politics at the door.  We will go back for seconds, even though dessert looms large.  A food coma ensues.  Is Thanksgiving the original “cheat day?”  Hmmm…perhaps.  Leave it to America to super size an otherwise satisfying Thursday lunch. 

After all, to every other country, Thanksgiving is just another Thursday.  Yet it’s my favorite.  A holiday built on gratitude and a decadent meal?  Without the hassle of gifts? I’m in.  

In today’s furiously fast and heavy climate, we must not lose sight of gratitude, and not just on one particularly famous Thursday of the year.  We must make gratitude a practice. 

Gratitude is not just something we do to feel better about life.  It’s not denying reality or always finding the sliver lining.  It’s far more powerful than that.  

Over time, gratitude has the power to rewire your brain for more overall fulfillment in life and relationships.  As humans, we have what’s called a negativity bias.  We are biologically wired for survival.  Primal man relied on this negativity bias to wake up the next morning and live another day in a highly dangerous world.  However, in our modern day world, we don’t need this high alert survival bent as we once did.  Sure, it’s kept us alive as a species through the ages, however, thankfully most of us have our basic needs of food, shelter, and safety met.  

Gratitude is saying yes to what is good, true, and beautiful—it’s the practice of nurturing hope in our lives.  Sometimes it’s accepting the challenging parts of life that have helped us grow and heal.  It is an intentional practice that sees the often grim reality of life—acknowledges it— accepts it—AND chooses to see life from a higher, more spiritual perspective.  

Today, I want to run through the things that get in the way of a gratitude practice for each Enneagram type. 

Type 1: Perfectionism!!! What a sham!  Type Ones have such a high standard for themselves and the world around them, they often miss out on what’s good and right in their lives.  

Type 2: Guilt often clouds gratitude for these nurturing souls.  The feeling that they aren’t doing enough for others or a tendency to carry the weight of the world can be all consuming.

Type 3: Busyness can distract these success-oriented doers from gratitude.  The constant need to achieve and move things forward will take center stage for Threes if they aren’t consciously aware of their pattern.  

Type 4: Longing for what’s missing tends to derail these sensitive, idealistic people from gratitude.  The melancholy that feels so comfortable becomes a real hinderance as a result. 

Type 5: Scarcity can easily get in the way of Fives as they live out of a place of hyper self-sufficiency that can border on stinginess.  

Type 6: Fear and doubt go neck and neck with gratitude for Sixes.  As great problem solvers, they can often be problem seekers.  

Type 7: Toxic positivity can keep Sevens in a constant state of avoidance of reality.  Though they can seem like the most grateful, they often bypass the whole of true gratitude which is appreciating the light and dark parts of life. 

Type 8: Control and impact can often leave softer concepts like gratitude feeling weak or besides the point. Their constant forward momentum distract a grateful heart.  

Type 9: Laziness or numbing when it comes to their own process and development can distract Nines from developing their own gratitude practice (or any practice).  Their constant focus on other people can be a real roadblock.

As we move through the season, consider the things that might get in the way of something so beautiful—so simple—and so powerful…gratitude.