Holiday Grounding 4.0: Love is Near

Breathe, O breathe Thy loving Spirit, Into every troubled breast!
Let us all in Thee inherit; Let us find that promised rest.
-Charles Wesley, Love Divine.

Anticipation

We’re closing in on Christmas. Whether you celebrate the holidays or not, I imagine you will agree with me here: anticipation is in the air. This anticipation is not just for the gifts and festivities of the season’s climax; this anticipation is for a new year, a fresh start. 2016 has been quite an interesting one to say the least. Whatever your experience is, I want to applaud you for showing up and staying courageous and committed to the process.  It’s that feeling of finishing a long  book (preferably a hard copy), placing it ever so gingerly on the book shelf next to the host of other old companions you’ve learned from, and then standing back with a deep sigh of prideful relief as you admire your handiwork.

Homestretch

I feel the same surge of prideful relief as I round the corner and lock into that last stretch of a year lived fully. It’s almost like adrenaline kicks in and my feet seem to carry themselves over the finish line: the hard work’s been done and now what’s left is Christmas shopping. (Nope, still haven’t finished.)

We’ve been on a journey of Holiday Grounding this month. I know I’ve needed it, just like I need lots of reminders. With that said, I want to quickly point out those high level road posts—where we’ve been and where we’re going.  More importantly, I’d then like to talk about movies and the Beatles.  Here goes…

Comparison sucks

Comparison steals not only joy, but opportunity, creativity, and focus. “Winners focus on winning, losers focus on winners.” Remember that quote? I don’t know who said it, but they nailed it. The next time you find yourself comparing yourself to someone else this week, get grounded in gratitude. Pull out the old gratitude journal and immediately jot down a couple things you are thankful for. Game changer. Let go of that scarcity mindset and lean into this phrase: “I am more than enough, right this minute.”

Advent creates space

Advent is traditionally recognized as a religious observance, but I believe it’s a pathway of hope and anticipation for anyone who longs to create space for new, powerful gifts and opportunities. What are those unique dreams and desires you long to see become reality in 2017? Create space today for them by letting go of old stuffy attachments that no longer serve you then write down a better fit for the season you’re in. Give it a word, one word, and cling to it; let it feed your soul.

Generosity releases fear

It’s true. As we give out of our need, we align with the truth of something bigger and more powerful than fear: love. I’m not saying we ditch our boundaries and overlook needs; far from it. I’m saying acknowledge the feeling attached to whatever it is you need, risk uncertainty, and knowing that God is good and the universe is working in our favor, create that feeling in your life by paying it forward for someone around you in need. I’ve come to believe human frailty and suffering is one of the most elemental, binding forces.  Generosity opens up so much connection.

All you need is Love? Really?

I love the movie Love Actually. It’s my favorite modern Christmas classic. I love it for so many reasons, namely the dry British humor (I’m a frustrated Anglophile at heart), rockstar cast (Hugh Grant, Emma Thompson, and Collin Firth, anyone?), and the collection of messy, real life stories all strewn together throughout the film. It’s a little raunchy, a little sad, quite comical, and very clumsy all at once. I watched this the other night with my sister, Lauren over a trough full of Pad Thai for probably the 27th time. It never gets old.

Lennon & McCartney

Why is this? Beyond obvious reasons aforementioned, my hunch is it tells a story of Love, perfectly imperfect, just like you and me. In the recesses of each storyline, we see a common thread, a choice, albeit rickety and awkward at times, to open up to a love that feels uncertain, risky.  I think Lennon and McCartney had it all wrong. Sure, All you Need is Love is a masterful, catchy tune…one of my favorites, however, if love is indeed all around us, and we choose not to see it, embrace it, and lean into it, we might as well just Let it be and take that Long and Winding Road back home— we’re going Nowhere Man. (See what I did there?)

Get Still

We’ve been on a journey this year and it’s all coming to a head in the next several days. One of my most valuable gifts of 2016 has been sharing a bit more of that journey with you through this blog. I swear most weeks I’m writing because I need to hear every word of what I’m saying. Taking our own advice is often the hardest thing to do.

Choose

Today, as you wrap up any preparations, cooking, and shopping, please join me as I get still and choose Love. Love is right where we are, deep inside our hearts, and no one can take that away. It might get messy and it might get lonely- that’s okay. The choice is still ours to make.
We have amazing things ahead on this journey.  For now, I pray the season’s beauty overtakes you: the lights, the laughter, the complexity, all of it. I pray you will find peace in the fact that you’re not alone, ever. Lean into love, friend, it’s there, waiting for you, and it will not disappoint.  Have a very Merry Christmas!

Love & Gratitude,

katie

xoxo

Space Between the Notes (The Beatles & Benders)

I have a confession to make. I went on a bender this past weekend…a Beatles Bender. It was excessive and glorious and I highly recommend it.

While 34,000 dedicated runners recovered from the St. Jude’s Rock n’ Roll marathon, I was happily sat on my back deck for the better part of Sunday chugging coffee and devouring the brilliant and arguably most influential sounds of all time.

“Music is the space between the notes.” Claude Debussy

Now, I grew up on a steady diet of Jazz and Bossa Nova with a side of classic country. Stan Getz, Astrud Gilberto, and Antonio Carlos Jobim were household names. Crystal Gale (aka childhood hero tied with Princess Leia, of course) and John Denver got thrown around a lot too. Though sophisticated and cool, my early music education had some holes in it. A late bloomer in most areas, I didn’t begin to appreciate the Beatles until well into my mid-twenties. In fact, I’m not sure one can ever fully appreciate all the layers of genius and nuance their music houses.

Mid-way through the White Album, something struck me: music is absolute chaos if it lacks space. My favorite Beatles tunes, including Hey Jude, Something, Eleanor Rigby, While my Guitar Gently Weeps, All You Need is Love, and Blackbird (to barely scratch the surface), all dance around those beautiful and strategic spaces between the notes, lending melody and lyric that simply transcend. (Well, maybe they had some help from other “transcendental” substances as well; it was in fact the ‘60s…and beyond…) Perhaps this truth applies even more, what with the exquisite improvisational stylings of my native tongue, Jazz.

Can you imagine music without the space?

What about life?

Space between the notes is metaphorical for life, and specifically in our case, therapy as well. Rest, play, blank space, stillness, quiet. Pick your poison; however, we need them all in this life for so many reasons. For the sake of congruence, I will use the word “rest” to further my musical narrative (#nerdalert).

First off, we need rest in order to recharge and refuel our beings for more. Sure, there are seasons when we fire on all cylinders, but we can’t sustain them, nor are we meant to. When we go for long stretches without deep rest, our body chemistry changes and certain hormones spike to unhealthy levels. This can be extremely dangerous; something we don’t want to mess around with. Accidents happen, cognitions are blurred, moods swing, health problems surface, metabolisms stall, depression hits, and we lose touch with reality.

Secondly, we need rest in order to show up in a loving and compassionate way for relationships. When I experience high levels of stress and resulting burnout, I lose compassion for the people I love. It is impossible to authentically love and give from a constantly depleted, run-down state.

Lastly, we need rest in order to take inventory and gain new perspective. If we are always in “go mode” somewhere off in the distance, we miss out on the beauty of the here and now. Eckhart Tolle renders, “When you lose touch with your inner stillness, you lose touch with yourself. When you lose touch with yourself, you lose yourself in the world.” Nailed it.

Have you ever woken up at 3 am, unable to get back to sleep? No matter how tired you are, how many sheep you count, or deep breathing exercises you do, you are wired. Not only that, but insignificant details of the day appear and start damning you to hell. You are now considering a new friend group, fitness regime, psychotropic medication, and the local psych hospital even becomes appealing…like the Four Seasons or something. Exhausted and crazed, you finally manage to doze off with all the cognitive acrobatics you just did. You wake up four hours later wondering what on earth the big fuss was about. You just needed sleep, not a life overhaul.

Rest creates space for new perspective when the treadmill of life and busyness has us running at a grueling pace.

Where are the crevices in your week in which you can carve out time for rest? It doesn’t have to be an entire day or afternoon (though that would be nice!). Setting just an hour or two aside can do wonders and reset you physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Rest is NOT a nasty little four-letter word. Rest is also NOT a sign of weekness. Paradoxical as it may seem, we ultimately get ahead in life by taking the time to slow down. Next time you hear your favorite song playing, pay attention to the space between the notes. Let them catch you off guard. Learn from them You may even hear and appreciate that song in a totally new way.

If music is truly the universal language of mankind, then rest must be what keeps us speaking.

In honor of The Beatles and the late, great Prince, I leave you with this… Watch and weep along…