How to Live Beyond Your Type
I believe the big reason people sour so quickly from the Enneagram is that it’s so misused by the rest of us. We become Bible-thumping zealots—throwing numbers and jargon around—insensitive to the fact that those around us are not interested or open to being objectified…and reduced. I mean, I get it. I was “that girl” who was an Enneagram evangelist there in the first couple of years: typing people left and right, preaching about growth and disintegration, and passing the plate of approval so everyone would “buy in.”
And I meant well—truly. It’s been life-changing for me in my process, lending a clean lens to the distorted picture of my life I’d been living out of for so long. Yet it took me years to metabolize the fact that lasting Enneagram transformation speaks for itself. I didn’t have to. The proof is, as they say, in the pudding.
What I didn’t understand then that I do now is this: the Enneagram is not about becoming more like your type. The Enneagram is about living beyond type and into the true you. It’s about identifying your dominant type in order to fully understand it: strengths, weaknesses, motivations, values, and behaviors. But it’s not some Venus fly-trap, swallowing you up, lickety split, right when you get up close. It’s about identifying the limiting parts of your personality in order to release and re-write the parts that don’t fit any more.
I’ll never forget my month-long Narrative Enneagram teacher training back in Menlo Park, CA. I was expecting the room to be filled with ego and a lot of it. Instead, I remember walking in the first day and much to my surprise, feeling pretty stumped. I couldn’t really figure out anyone’s type (I couldn’t resist trying!). This group had done some deep inner work, and lot’s of it. They were living beyond their type, beyond the rough and ready edges of personality, into their authentic selves.
When we work with the Enneagram and live in that space, the edges do soften. Relationships run smoother, life’s inevitable stressors become more manageable, and the present moment—more vibrant.
Being reduced to a number is pretty lame. Understanding the truth about how you operate in the world and the story you’ve been living out of is life-changing. Why? Because that means you get to decide if it still serves you. If it doesn’t, guess what?
Yep…you can change it.
When you’re stuck in your type, you’re also stuck in the familiar past—so predictable.
You are so much more than a number, my friend. You are the writer, creator, director, and leading lady of your story, all in one!