Welcome to a New Way: Why Change doesn't have to Hurt

About two years ago, I took a dear friend’s advice and made an appointment with this magical English woman named Linda Penny when I was visiting LA.  I still don’t know her official title, but Linda is most certainly a healer.  She uses all types of modalities such as kinesiology, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), and Reiki.  I’ve never seen so many oils, bells, and curious gadgets to sort someone out.  Without a doubt, Linda is off the charts intuitive.  

I’d been feeling incredibly stuck at the time and much of it was manifesting in my body.  Every night I’d wake up at around three a.m. with sharp back and neck pain that kept me up until around six when I’d doze back off only to jolt awake in 30 minutes thanks to my alarm.  

The body pain and lack of sleep created a depression cycle I simply couldn’t shake.  I knew the issue was emotional and at the same time felt like I had all the tools to work with.  So I called in the big guns, Linda Penny (whom I affectionately now call Money Penny), being one.  

That 90 minute session left an indelible mark on my life.  She said so many wise things to me that day, yet the one thing that really stuck was this: “You know, Katie, change doesn’t have to be painful and dramatic.  It’s really quite simple.”  

I don’t know if it was her charming British accent or the fact that I’d done so much emotional heavy lifting throughout my life to grow and heal the wounded places, but her words play on repeat when I fall prey to the grip of fear and discouragement.  

When we find ourselves in stuck seasons, we resort to what seems logical—we work harder.  We armor up, think harder, clinch our fist, and full of determination, walk straight into a bigger pile of problems oftentimes affecting our physical health.  

I’ve learned that Money Penny is spot on.  Change doesn’t have to be an exhausting uphill battle.  Rather, it’s more about getting back to the basics.  

Over the next 20 weeks, we will be doing just that here on the blog.  If you want to get emotionally, relationally, or physically unstuck and see lasting change take shape in your life, please join me on this journey.  We’ll start at the root and expand out, exploring your story, where you’ve been, and where you ultimately want to go.  

I’ve got some exciting opportunities for you along the way, so I do hope you’ll join me as we transform the back half of 2019 and unlock desired outcomes you’ve been working towards a long time.  I don’t think it has to be difficult.  I do think we need a new way forward though.  
I’ve got a roadmap…you’ve got the key. 

Let’s go.


Love & Gratitude,
Katie 

The Enneagram & Your Favorite Mistake

I grew up worshiping Sheryl Crow. She embodied brilliant writer, instrumentalist, singer, and entertainer all in one while looking really strong and sure of herself along the way.  

While major labels were throwing hundreds of thousands of dollars at production budgets for artists back in the early 90’s, she managed to make pure magic with 40k on her debut recordTuesday Night Music Club.  

I see her from time to time around town, typically in a Starbucks, and have a full-on girl crush attack, geek out moment. Thankfully, I’ve never been a total train wreck and embarrassed myself those handful of times, though I’ve come scarily close. (I have a much different story about standing behind Micheal Stipe in a local coffee shop. I’ll save that for a blog post about overcoming humiliation.)

I recently listened to an interview with her on NPR and learned of a much different, fragile side of Ms. Crow. She admitted a lifelong battle with self-doubt and depression. She even went so far as to say this larger than life persona she’d created over the years felt paper thin, and contrary to the reality of her own broken self-image.

Guess what? You and I are no different (well, besides the arsenal of Grammy’s perhaps). We learned early on which masks looked really good on us that would also double as a protective shield. They would help us show up and be seen on this daunting stage called life.  

After all, the word personality is derived from the Greek word, “persona”, which means “mask”.  

We all wear certain masks of personality to protect ourselves from rejection and failure—to be liked. 

Your personality is NOT a bad thing either! It’s one of the loveliest things about you.  

Things gets pitchy though when we over-identify with that mask and eventually lose touch with the reality of who we are—the authentic essential self.  

I believe the Enneagram is one of the best, most accessible tools for self-understanding. It serves as a roadmap, guiding us on the journey of self-discovery and relational growth. If you’re new to this tool and want an introductory peek into its wisdom, this online indicator is a great place to start.

We make one whopping mistake with the Enneagram, though.  Just as we over-identify with certain personality traits or masks we wear, we can also hugely over-identify with the classic and obtuse characteristics of our specific number or “type.”  

We attach to the safe construct of this number as opposed to allowing it to help us “unlearn” certain behaviors that got us into trouble in the first place.  

For example, when I first discovered I was a four on the Enneagram (the Romantic), it was like someone had given me a handbook, or a language, for all the reasons I do what I do. The melancholic tendencies, the shame, the need to be special, the obsession with aesthetic, all of it! I thought I was just crazy all those years!?! (Ballot's still out there).  

Finally, I had insight into the complex story I’d been living out of

Initially though, instead of allowing this insight to help me shed the unhelpful parts of my personality, I took the information and completely indulged in it. Instead of “I’m Katie, and I identify with type four on the Enneagram,” it was, “I’m a four. Oh, and my name is Katie.” 

Are you tracking?  

In essence, if you are letting your type define you as opposed to allowing it to unlock the beauty and nuance of your purest, truest self, you’re still hiding in a box.  

Don’t worry, it’s my favorite mistake too. I camped out in Four Land for a good five years before I understood how much bigger and more powerful the Enneagram really is.  

It doesn’t want to type you just to leave you there. It wants to guide you home to wholehearted living without the entrapments of all those fearful masks.  

Here's the thing: You are in a league of your own. You're more than a number or a type on any personality indicator. Thankfully though, this gift of the Enneagram can support you in discovering all the intricacy, uniqueness, and power that lies outside the box and inside of you.  I'm pretty thrilled I get to support you as well. 

Love & Gratitude,

Katie
xoxo