Drumroll please...introducing walking meditations

I hear it often, “meditation isn’t really for me.  I can’t seem to sit still that long.” 

I get it.  It’s hard to pin me down in the same place for more than ten minutes (especially with a toddler.) 

And while I do feel there is such value in truly taking time to sit in stillness with ourselves and our experience, I believe there are many ways to get the benefits from meditation.  

That’s why I’m so thrilled to share the newest member of the Practice with you today: walking meditations—the beautiful marriage of movement and mindfulness.   

Here’s the backstory:

I created The Practice, an enneagram-based self-care toolkit, for monthly members to take advantage of and learn how to put the Enneagram to work in their lives and practice specialized self-care in the process.  After all, the Enneagram is a holistic tool, mind-body-spirit.  

It’s been an absolute blast creating content from week to week and the community that’s developed over the course of over a year has been truly invaluable.  However, I felt there was something missing.  

I’m convinced physical movement is clutch in our personal growth and healing.  If there was one form of self-care I simply couldn’t live without it is daily mindful movement…or is it meditation? Oof! 

So I began to ask myself, “how can I provide a way for members to be more efficient in their self-care, killing two birds with one stone: meditation and movement?” 

You guessed it, walking meditations, my guided meditations over vibe-y, inspirational music written and produced by some of my favorite musicians and writers in Nashville.  We started building out these tracks last year and finally, after great anticipation and collaboration, are ready to share them with you.  

We will be releasing new walking meditations each month on the Practice for you to take with you to your favorite hiking and walking trails in order to move with greater intention and presence, creating more space to process emotions and connect to nature.  I think you’re going to love them.  I sure do.  

Join the Practice today and get first dibs on my new walking meditations coming in hot mid-June.    

Reaction Formation

I love a good quote. Don’t you? 

One that I keep tucked away in the background of my foggy mom brain is this classic by Viktor Frankl, “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

It keeps my unconscious clunking through life in check.

I sincerely believe that most of our perceived problems would dissolve if we cultivated, or grew, that space between what life throws at us and how we respond. Let’s stop right there. Even just the word “respond” is generous. I tend to default to cruise-control living more days than not, reacting out of emotion instead of responding out of presence. 

Why? Because the space between the stimulus and response is so stinking small! What is not so small, however, is the old ego blaring at full-volume when I live like this. 

For example, let’s look at a scenario we can all relate to—traffic. (Well, perhaps not in these COVID times.)  If you live in a large-ish city like Nashville, chances are, you have been tweaked by traffic. One of my absolute biggest pet peeves is when I’m stopped at a four-way stop and instead of obeying traffic laws, people try to be sweet and “let you go” when it’s not your turn. I’m all for southern charm and hospitality, but somebody’s going to get hurt if we all play nice instead of following the basic order.

This happened the other day. A well-meaning lady in a heavy black sedan with red lipstick and statement earrings sat across from me at a four-way stop. It was her turn to go. She flashed a toothy grin my way and waved her hand for me to go. I mean come ON. I played along but rolled my eyes and sped around the turn very dramatically. Small space alert! I reacted out of frustration instead of responding from curiosity and openness. Ew.

I was also asleep in trance, living out of a really crappy story that read something like this, “Why are people so lame? She should see traffic laws (and life for that matter) the way I do.”  

Zero compassion. Zero patience. Bags of judgment.  

Sure, anger was at the surface. But guess what was really going on underneath that jagged reaction? The real underlying story was fear. It went something like this, “Things won’t work out unless I try to control them.”  

Do you have a particular narrative that gets you into trouble?

Here’s some good news: the thing that separates us as humans from animals is the ability to make up stories. We’ve also been given the glorious gift of imagination in order to write them well. 

Guess what we need in order to write good and truthful stories? We need space. Why? Because we write best out of stillness, not chaos. Also, because reactionary, fear-based living will drive us mad (and others away). 

If you and I are courageous enough to sit in that space, feel our feelings, and simply observe the moment at hand, we have stepped out of ego— the need for control—and into the freedom of essence. By essence, I’m referring to the unconditioned, open, and authentic “true self.”

From that space, you create meaning, thought, feeling, and action that is powerful beyond belief. This is the space where you get to use your God-given gift to write really compelling stories.

This all sounds so lovely and airy-fairy, but how do we grow that space and find our freedom— our power? 

Meditation is the most effective tool I’ve found to cultivate the inner observer, or witness, we all have, yet tend to neglect. Any mindfulness exercise or guided breathing and meditation allow us to relate to our thoughts and experiences in a softer, more open way. Most importantly, it broadens the space and cushions the fall when life throws us the inevitable curveballs.  Yes, it feels boring, uncomfortable, and frustrating at first, but after a while, you will start to crave it. 

This is the spiritual work of the Enneagram. It’s time we tend to that pure, loving part of us in order to create some distance between how we experience the world and how we respond. Your imagination is your MVP here. Break it open. Look around. Make a home.

Stay awhile.

Love & Gratitude,

Katie

Meditation: How to Find Calm in the Chaos

As we move through each uncertain day, I’m blown away by two things: 1) How our attention has shifted to a new way of living (i.e. surviving), and 2) How we must dig deep and step into a new brand of courage in order to stay grounded during this time.

Here’s what I’m clinging to: this is only temporary—we undoubtedly will get through this and come out stronger. Yet with enforced physical distancing and quarantines happening all over the world, creativity is key during this process.  

We are collectively becoming more refined in the way we deal with struggle moving forward.  If we accept the challenge, we can actually learn how to be better overcomers. 

How do we do this?  By advocating for ourselves and becoming skilled copers.  Fact: these are scary times.  Our generation has never seen anything like it.  But fear and anxiety have always been there.  Spoiler alert: they’ll never leave.  

History is calling us to a new standard of wakefulness.  I want to look back on this time and be amazed by how resilient we were as a collective group, though physically apart.  

I want to be amazed by how we learned to stay calm in the chaos as skilled overcomers.   

A proven way we can do this is through meditation.  Science tells us over and over how powerful mindfulness is for improving health, sleep, mood, creativity, and brain functioning. 

It reduces anxiety in much the same way as exercise does because it decreases cortisol, a pesky stress hormone, and teaches us to live in the present moment.  The present moment is typically a much safer place than somewhere “out there” in the past or future.  Especially right now.

Today, I invite you to join me as we practice finding calm in the chaos through this short, guided meditation. 

Love & Gratitude,

Katie     

I Wish I'd Had This 5 Years Ago

I’ve heard it said, as writers, our ideal audience is us, five years ago.  So, at 40, I’m writing to my 35-year-old self.  After all, we write what we know.  I suppose the lessons of life take a solid three to five years (at least!) to really get into our bones.
 
This definitely checks out for me.  Whereas I value every leg of the journey, looking back I cringe to see some of the harrowing passages I traversed all in the name of stubbornness.  Five years ago, I was on a tear, hustling in about 20 different directions all in the name of worthiness.  I had one speed…fast.  Even though I’d come along way on my journey of healing and wholeness, I was swinging hard in the direction of impossible expectations for myself and my life.  
 
In fact, I was so worn out, my body started to slowly break down, manifesting all sorts of back, neck, and jaw pain.  Even though I didn’t feel depressed, my body began calling out for some attention as there was still some work to be done deep inside.  Sure, I’d been a therapist for a while, yet I needed to take my own advice and stop ignoring parts of me that desperately needed some love.
 
Let’s just say, I was seriously confused about the whole self-care thing.  I worked out hard, I enjoyed time with girlfriends, I went for the occasional mani/pedi, I journaled here and there, but I never fully stepped off the treadmill of what I’ve come to call my internal split.  By this I mean, my disconnection from myself and the present moment.  I was always somewhere else, “out there.”  Self-care felt like a detour— a delayed pitstop or something.   
 
Fast-forward to today.  A lot has happened.  I got married, had my first child, and woke up to the glaring fact that something needed to change if I wanted to actually show up authentically for my family and my dreams.  My internal split needed an internal shift.  I knew a different set of circumstances wouldn’t change anything.  For the first time in my life, I knew I had to quit hustling for my worthiness and start caring for the little girl inside who was flat out tired.   
 
I’d mistaken self-care for something to be checked off the to-do list quickly to return to life as I knew it.   It felt squishy—or weak or something.   It became a way to numb the soreness after a long day, like a couple of glasses of wine or a nice long bubble bath.   Whereas those things are lovely, they never seemed to make me feel alive or more me. Relaxing? Yes. Connective? Hmmm…not so much.
 
I wish I’d known what true self-care is five years ago.  I wish I’d had a roadmap, or ritual, to practice on the regular that was grounding, healing, and life-giving.   Sure, I did eventually figure it out by the grace of God and some hardcore burnout. Maybe this was exactly as it should be.  However, I’d like to break the fall for anyone who’s curious. 
 
I believe we get good at whatever we practice.  Resilience in life is really about practice.  True self-care is simply nurturing resilience and compassion through practice in our everyday life.  It’s about bringing our whole self online—integrating mind, body, and spirit. 
 
If you feel you could use a tune-up, re-write parts of your story, and revamp the way you relate to yourself in 2020, here’s the perfect opportunity.  Please join me and my incredible friends Ally and Koula at the Self-Care Workshop coming up Feb. 8-9  in Nashville.   Using the Enneagram, writing, and yoga, we will deep dive into what self-care really is and what it looks like specifically for you right now.  
 
It’s going to be so much fun and deeply transformative.  Me (and my 35-year-old self) can’t wait to see you ;).   

Love & Gratitude,

Katie

Generosity with a Twist...A Meditation

How are you?  I mean, really? 

Have you made a point this season to slow down, take a few breaths, and give back to you?  I truly hope so.  After all, at the centerpiece of this “most wonderful time of year” is generosity—namely—gift-giving. 

That being said, I want to bring our awareness to this beautiful practice from a slightly different angle.  It might be due to the fact that I’ve yet to buy a single gift.  Or, it might be the fact that I’m terrified to take my three-month-old to the mall (I know, gotta bite the bullet one of these days.)  But then there’s always Amazon.  I digress.

My point is, I believe generosity is a practice we miss out on because we largely identify it with material things like stuff, money, and time.  We also tend to focus generosity outward—toward someone else.  Oh, but there’s so much more!  I believe the most exquisite brand of generosity underlies all of those things and must begin with ourselves.  It’s a spirit of generosity…a posture we take…rather than checking off the wish list. 

Being generous with ourselves and others means something much deeper than gift-giving.  It means giving the invaluable gift of availability—openness.  It means being curious in each moment as we experience life’s precious minutes, smiles, unknowns, joys, disappointments, and possibilities. 

As with anything, we must always dress-rehearse these practices with ourselves.   As you offer yourself an open mind and heart, cultivating a sense of curiosity and non-judgment, it becomes a natural overflow into your relationships with others.  

Have you ever given someone something special like a big block of time or a meaningful token and you felt it went under-appreciated? I know I have.  I end up feeling pretty resentful on the inside, making the sentiment of generosity more about me than the recipient.  When this happens, I’m pretty certain I’m looking for something from that person I need to be giving myself—value and appreciation. 

This week, we’ll spend some time practicing generosity of spirit towards ourselves in order to bypass that resentment.  When we intentionally give to ourselves out of genuine appreciation, we fill a void that we tend to look to others to meet. 

I want to give to others from an authentic, loving space this season.  How about you?  Let’s start by getting grounded in generosity and becoming available and nurturing to the places inside us that feel tired and needy.  My hunch is, all the other “stuff” will be the glaze on your sticky toffee pudding.  Not only that, but those gifts under the tree will take on a much deeper meaning. 

Love & Gratitude,

Katie