Adele: Lessons from the Other Side

Before we get going, I thought it only fair to circle back around to my last post and cut all that paralyzing suspense regarding my test last Tuesday. Drumroll, please…. I passed!!!!! EEP! This is good news for us both I can assure you as I’ll move on, quit my moaning, and focus on far more interesting things for us to talk about here.  I didn’t realize how heavy a burden the whole process has been throughout the last 18 months.  The stress of it bled over into other cracks of life, sucking away energy, ease, and time I’d forgotten I had.  So, after taking a week off the blog for some much-needed self-care and rest, I feel massive relief and anticipation for more creative space to play around with other projects I’m ready to push forward.

Persevere

Despite feeling the gravity of this seeming detour, I learned an invaluable lesson through it all: Perseverance develops emotional muscles that will serve us well in every area of life, even when the task at hand seems unrelated and dispassionate to our calling. This post isn’t about perseverance in that respect though, it’s about Adele…so let’s get to it.

Date

I had the distinct pleasure of tagging along with my husband to the Grammy’s this past Sunday night in LA.  Despite his infinite cool,  he humors me as I show up each year with an arsenal of crazy shoes, dresses, and fake eye lashes like I’m nominated for an award or something.  I’ve never taken home one of those awards, however, I always leave the week with loads of shiny inspiration, new ideas, and an awakened dreamer inside.

YouTube

This year was no exception.  In fact, I was so moved by the raw combination of Adele’s truth-telling and talent, I felt the need to write what I saw, in hopes of somehow branding it into my being.  If you didn’t see her performance or acceptance speech(es), YouTube those babies.  They’ll warm your heart. Oh, and, forgive the spoiler for which you are about to receive.

Outlier

She’s always been an outlier in my mind: a seamless talent, a young-old-soul, and a powerful message well-balanced with a shock of mess.  She’s swooped in twice now for most pop music consumers, both times offering us heavy hitting albums five years apart quite simply titled “21” and “25.”   As that thick cockney accent cuts through the trough of tears shed, she cleans house, claiming most if not every Grammy she’s slated for.  I’d say those are pretty good odds.

Chocolate

On the flight home late Tuesday night between the spotty Southwest wi-fi and my fistful of Valentine’schocolate, I couldn’t get her out of my head, so I jotted down a few lessons she’s taught me over the years, especially this past Sunday night.

1.) Be You

Seems obvious, right?  I don’t think so.  Maybe it’s LA, or the entertainment industry, or my own ego that I can feel expand in order to compensate in a room full of über talented people.  Whatever it is, Adele seems to be immune to the insidious pressure to conform.  I’m sure she’s got her demons just like the best of them, however, she knows who she is and what she does well, and she does it– like a Boss. With steady opinions from all sides to be this and that, to look a certain way, and perhaps to diversify, she’s unapologetically steady in who she is.  It’s a breath of fresh air in an industry full of people hustling hard to show up in just the right light.  She just “is” and it’s simply stunning—magnetic.

Version

Do you ever feel like you’re hustling to live up to some unrealistic version of you?  I do.  Next time it happens, take a step back and remember this:  you’re in a league of your own—no one else in the world will do when it comes to being you.  Own it.  When I listen to Adele sing, I don’t want to hear Katy Perry, I want Adele!  (Though I do love me some KP).  Good news: there’s more than enough room at the table for the unique gifts we each bring and a scarcity mindset is totally unnecessary.

2.) Don’t Be Afraid to Start Over

I remember playing a gig in the mecca of downtown Franklin a couple of years back.  I hadn’t been practicing much and I didn’t really know one of the songs I was meant to play. Being the queen of wing it, I confidently, (read: blindly), walked right into a train wreck, having to start that song over halfway through.  It was awful.  I felt so much shame and embarrassment and desperately wantedto go hide under a rock for the next couple of months.  Umm, there were probably 25 people there, tops.  Really?

Hero

When Adele stopped her George Michael tribute on music’s biggest night in order to start the song over, I wanted to do back flips all the way up to the stage and hug her ever deserving neck.  It’s the same shame, yet on vastly different platforms.  She risked being rejected in order to do what she knew she needed to do.  Courage does not exclude fear, it embraces it and keeps going.  Heroes personify courage and we live in a culture desperately searching for heroes.  I believe this is a big reason Adele stole our hearts in the first place.

Pride

We must not let pride keep us from slowing down, re-assessing, and starting over when we need to be it in a creative endeavor, an unhealthy relationship,  or a work project we’ve been unsuccessfully pushing uphill.   If Adele can mess up and start over for all the world to see, I’m pretty sure you and I can in our own way as well.

3.) Lead with your Heart

As if it were even possible to love her more than I already did, she then managed to pull out that unforgettable and disarming final acceptance speech for Album of the Year.

It was a tough call.  She was up against Beyoncé’s fiercely creative “Lemonade”, and she literally didn’t want to accept it as she felt her competition had been robbed.  We didn’t get a tidy, calculated, speech thanking all the big wigs in the room.  Instead, we got an off-the-cuff love letter to her hero, complete with blubbering tears and that quintessential F-bomb we’ve become endearingly familiar with.  She could’ve used those valuable minutes to further her cause, or better yet, get political.  Instead, she led with her heart, honoring the influential genius of Beyoncé, who’s work and life highly impacted every facet of her experience, including the admittedly broken one of motherhood.

Ego

Constantly choosing to tap into love instead of fear helps us detach from ego and get out of our own way. Ego is always divisive.  It puffs up, separating us from our true self because we’re afraid our true self isn’t enough.  Vulnerably, Adele continues to model that, and a starving world devours every last crumb.

Model

Vulnerability is a scary thing, after all, as we inevitably risk rejection and abandonment.  What I’m seeing though, is it’s the only way to truly be known and loved.  This week, let’s follow Adele’s lead and see what happens.  You never know, we may give another caged soul the freedom to show up— messy, imperfect, and un-rehearsed.  I want to be apart of that revolution.

love & gratitude,

katie

xoxo

The Deciding Line: Staying the Course

You’ve got to know when to hold ’em
Know when to fold ’em
Know when to walk away
And know when to run
You never count your money
When you’re sittin’ at the table
There’ll be time enough for countin’
When the dealin’s done

-Kenny Rogers (The Gambler)

The Gambler

I remember going to a Kenny Rogers concert in 8th grade with a few friends.  I didn’t much like country music but it was the thing at my school back then and I was locked smack dab in the middle of my awkward stage pinnacle.  I also got a huge kick out of Dolly and she was slated to make a guest appearance that night for their classic duet, Islands in the Stream.  Needless to say, I went along with it.  After all, there was very little for a twelve-year-old to do in Mobile, Alabama that didn’t involve golf cart mudding or toilet papering the odd neighbor’s front yard.

Cool Points

Towards the end of the concert, I decided to step it up a notch in hopes of earning a few more cool points. (I was already ahead as my drop dead gorgeous mom was playing chauffeur that night).  In between songs, the auditorium got super still for some strange reason.  Was he switching guitars?  Was he waiting on sound? Did the Budweiser run out?  I didn’t know and didn’t care.  I took the golden opportunity and ran like it was a skydiver’s terrifying first jump.

Leap

There in the silence I inched towards the edge and screamed at the top of my pre-pubescent lungs “The GAMBLERRRR!!!!” The next thirty seconds felt like a turtle’s lifetime and I’m sure I resembled something of a seared beet.  Finally, Mr. Rogers peered way back into the nosebleeds as if to try to locate this brave (read: ludicrous) young soul, then chuckled, “Well, alright then.”  He launched into that familiar finger picking pattern followed by a warm raspy vocal, holding thousands of hungry fans and one proud pre-teen in the palm of his hand.  It was epic, indeed.

Alive

Believe it or not, this post is about staying the course of our goals, not how to make it out of middle school alive.  I’m convinced that was a miracle I don’t remember much of.  The Gambler lends us wisdom as we navigate our goals.  I love this idea of knowing when to cut our losses; when to walk away from something that appears good, but may not ultimately be great for the overarching journey ahead.

One

Many of you are highly creative, highly intuitive creatures, tightly wound for success.  The achievement stakes are high as is the capacity to dream.  You do many things really well, which makes choosing just one of them often difficult.

Action

Today, I want to drop a few ideas that have helped me translate desire into action.  Play around with them, tease them out a bit.  They may challenge a few beliefs you’ve held thus far.  They’ve certainly done so for me.

You can’t have it all (Gasp)

I breathed a deep sigh of relief when I read Twyla Tharp’s sharp words of wisdom in her bestseller The Creative Habit for the first time.

As a brilliant, world-renown choreographer in her 60’s, she harkens back to her stringent 20’s way of thinking that she could, indeed have it all:

“To lead a creative life, you have to sacrifice, ‘Sacrifice’ and ‘having it all’ do not go together.  I set out to have a family, have a career, be a dancer, and support myself all at once, and it was overwhelming.  I had to learn the hard way that you can’t have it all, you have to make some sacrifices, and there’s no way you’re going to fulfill all the roles you imagine.”

Hats

What roles are you currently juggling?  Does it feel exhausting?  Perhaps its time to re-examine all the hats you’re wearing and choose one or two that fit the best.  I know I know,  you are good at what you set your mind to and multi-tasking might be your jam. However, when calling and desire are at stake, slow and steady may be your best bet for consistent delivery.

Cut it out

The word “decide” comes from the Latin decider, literally meaning “to cut off.”  Whenever we make a choice, we cut off and remove another option.  I love this imagery–it frees up space for more of what we actually want and lightens the load in order to quicken our step in the right direction.  Choosing to prioritize a dream that speaks lovingly and loudly allows us to silence the dead weight of conflicting voices that speak out of turn.  Plus, this is how we practice listening and leaning into intuition,  ultimately building trust in ourselves, our voice.

Good vs. Great

This doesn’t mean the conflicting voices are necessarily bad.  Au Contraire!  I believe at the core of our desires we find purity.  We want to make a good living to create freedom and security, we want to get a promotion in order to feel accomplished and respected, we want to travel the world in order to fuel a sense of wonder and expand our horizons.  These are all beautiful desires.  We’ve got to learn how to navigate them.

Harvest

I love vineyards.  The process of growing, pruning, crushing, and harvesting grapes that eventually produce wine is fascinating, if not poetic.  The farmer is intimately acquainted with this process of knowing, choosing, and cutting off in order to render the best the vines can offer.  Of course, there are wilting grapes in obvious need of elimination.  Then there are perfectly good grapes; grapes that appear healthy, ripe, and full of potential.  The winemaker knows, however, that in order for optimal growth, too much weight and fruit will actually dampen the vine and lower overall quality.

There doesn’t need to be harsh judgment of our decision to focus on one goal over another.  The good news is, we can always come back to it and reassess.  Like the song boasts, “There’ll be time enough for countin’ when the dealin’s done.”

Now dream

For now, I encourage you to make a list of 5-10 things you deeply desire to accomplish in the next three months.  Don’t edit it or deem them unrealistic, just listen to what wells up inside.  Spend five minutes with that list and circle the one that would have the MOST positive impact on your life now.  If there’s one that’s are close second, draw a box around it; you’ve found your six month goal.  You can build this out as long as you want and revisit with more clarity down the line.  As I mentioned last week, the Passion Planner is an amazing resource to supplement this journey as well.

I absolutely love partnering with you on this journey of making dreams and desires a tangible reality.  If you feel you need extra support, don’t hesitate to reach out.  Oh and, stay tuned for some really exciting news on the blog in the coming weeks!  I’ve got some fun stuff planned for us

Love & Gratitude,

Katie

xoxo

Almost Famous: Searching for a Spotlight

The reason so many of us are obsessed with being stars is because we are not yet starring in our own lives.  The cosmic spotlight isn’t pointed at you, it radiates from within you.
Marianne Williamson

Trompeur

If there is one thing I’m well acquainted with, it’s this search for significance, a spotlight of sorts.  How can I  show up authentically, adding value and beauty to the world around me? Well, as it were, I’m dreadfully stubborn, traipsing around for years down seeming detours of tangled roads leading to what I thought were final destinations. Interestingly, I’ve learned more from my detours than my successes.

Premier Cru

As a result, I’m still building out that journey, and plan too for the long haul.   I hope we continually evolve and grow in character and depth over time, just like an exceptional vintage of wine. Here’s the thing though, oftentimes we exhaust this search and desperately cling to false forms of stardom, significance, what have you. We try to shine in someone else’s spotlight and fit into their box, therefore abandoning the unique capacities and creativity dormant within.

Leading Lady

Remember the movie The Holiday? I realize it’s a bit late for Christmas amusement, however, there is a scene in this movie that is worth noting all year long. Here’s the set up: Iris, played by Kate Winslet, is having dinner with Arthur Abbott, an older gentleman who’s a successful, retired Hollywood film director. They meet by chance while she’s in LA on holiday over Christmas in hopes of escaping the pain of a recent heartache back home in England. After Arthur expresses total perplexity as to why the gorgeous Brit is spending her holiday alone in a different country, he digs deeper. She eventually breaks down in tears as Arthur gently sizes up the situation with his spot on insight. Arthur observes:

“This is not a hard one to figure out. Iris, in the movies we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason you are behaving like the best friend.”

Aha!

It was one of those “aha” moments for Iris, and for me the first time I watched it. After a sip of beer and a sigh of relief she jokes about her incompetent therapist of three years withholding this core insight from her. In order to recuse myself from any such accusation (and because I wish my therapist would’ve asked me the same thing ten plus years ago!), I’ll ask you a similar question today:

Are you starring as the lead in your own life? Or are you the best friend, constantly apologizing for your actions and taking cues from everyone else around you?

Let it Go

When we attempt to re-invent our wheel and jump on someone else’s bandwagon, we detach  from ourselves, ignoring what’s burning beneath the surface.  Grappling with this stuff isn’t the worst thing either.  In fact, for years I battled crippling anxiety and self doubt, feeling obligated to pursue music as a career as I have a natural bent towards it and opportunities presented.  Sure, I loved the idea and it felt really satisfying to walk down that brightly lit, hopeful path. Still, it fell short–something was missing.  Music is a passion, but it never stole my heart.  When I woke up to the fact that I’m more than enough without a music career, it strangely gave me permission to fall more in love with it.  Funny how that works.  I’m certain music will always inform my journey.  Just because we’re good at something doesn’t mean we’re locked into it’s pursuit.

Inventory

In light of all this, I’ve got a little assignment for you.   At the very least it’s food for thought or good dinner conversation..or both.  This stuff is critical as we build out the bones of a new year.

Get Lost

• I want you to become laser aware of the things you effortlessly enjoy doing.  What are the problems you get lost in solving? This can look like drafting an email, planning a party, listening to a friend share a difficult experience, telling a story, picking out paint colors, practicing piano, writing a thank-you note, and so on. Nothing is too small or insignificant.  What do you love about doing it? How does it make you feel?
• What compliments do you receive often? Don’t be shy. (i.e. You’re great with people, you make a memorable first impression, you’re a gifted flower arranger, you’re hilarious!)
• Finally, I want you to ask a trusted friend this question:
  When do you observe me at my most engaged, alive, and contented self? What am I doing and what do you notice about me?
• Write it all down.  We’ll come back to it.

Proof

We don’t realize how we lead in certain areas. It takes loving mirrors such as trusted friends, colleagues, coaches, and family members to reflect back on what they see. I’ll never forget my 8th grade cheerleading coach (laugh it up) giving me invaluable insight into what she saw in me back then. One day she took me aside in her thoughtful and present way and told me I was natural encourager and observer. As an insecure, awkward 12 year-old in need of validation, I tucked her words away like a tiny family heirloom in my coat pocket. I’ve treasured and trusted them ever since. So many years later, much of my work is built around those two attributes. This stuff works.

Casting Call

So let’s cast you in the lead role of your life. It’s not selfish, or petty, or a waste of time. Quite the contrary! The minute we step into our unique calling, or “spotlight”, a sense of relief wells up. An internal security and calm pervades and I can stop hustling to compete, compare, and look for outward solutions that internally shine and have been there all along. We love more fully from this place of knowing.  So, dive in!  It gets really fun when we start writing the script. 

Love & Gratitude,

Katie

xoxo

Holiday Grounding 2.0: Advent of the Soul

When you get to where you’re going, where will you be?  

I ask myself this question often as I easily confuse productivity with busyness.  I imagine you fall into a similar trap as well.  Consider this, how many times a week do you ask someone how they’re doing and they respond with a slight sigh, eye roll, and an arsenal of reasons there’s just not enough time in the day.  “Life is just so busy these days!” they respond.  I’m definitely guilty of it too.  I tend to wear exhaustion proudly like a badge of honor just so you don’t have any qualms or confusion  about my level of productivity, or worth I suppose.

Stella McCartney

It’s a curious thing because I do wear that badge around like it jumped right off the Stella McCartney 2017 Spring runway, yet get so offended when someone actually notices it and asks, “Katie, you look tired, everything okay?”  The nerve!  Don’t they know I’m bulletproof? (Ha!) There are then two options at this point: I’ll either abruptly excuse myself, go slap some extra concealer under my eyes, snort some strong peppermint essential oil, and blame it on allergies. Or, the flimsy Plan B is always , “Who, me?  Are you kidding?  I feel great!” with a fake toothy grin and high pitched laugh.

Compensation

I’m pretty sure there’s shame at the root of this.  I recently read Shauna Niequist’s book, Present Over Perfect, and was rocked to the core by her level of honestly regarding her own addiction to productivity and responsibility.  She shares, “We all have these complicated tangles of belief and identity and narrative, and one of the early stories I told about myself is that my ability to get it done is what kept me around.  I wasn’t beautiful, I didn’t have a special or delicate skill.  But I could get stuff done, and it seemed to me that ability was my entrance into the rooms into which I wanted to be invited.”  In my case, I find myself hustling for acceptance by constantly going, achieving, producing.  It feels really good, until the payoff  isn’t enough anymore.

Roadmap

We all do this to some degree.  There is a lack or perceived deficiency as well as a need for acceptance, so we buy into narratives of belief about ourselves that were validated by someone important to us along the way. Eventually, these beliefs build out a blueprint of identity, a roadmap for the future.  I believe discovering and aligning with our truest self, our unique identity, is absolutely crucial in order to thrive.  It facilitates a high road forward and  thankfully, we can ditch that low one.  One of the greatest gifts of my life is to journey alongside others in support of this process.

Christmas cards

We must make time and space to ask ourselves this vital question: where am I going?  Put your narrative of holiday busyness aside and stop addressing those Christmas cards just for a moment. Consider this, if they’re getting a card, chances are they also care about your overall well-being.  Stop and give ear to the still small voice inside that longs to be heard.

Light

According to the Western liturgical church calendar, the season of Advent is upon us.  I’m not bothered by whether or not you consider yourself a religious person or a church-goer. What I am interested in is your desire to stay grounded and committed to a vision for your life that’s evolving, flourishing.  What better time to do this than smack dab in the middle of all the season’s light, celebration, and chaos!?  This begs the question: how do we maintain this inward reflection and presence and also give ourselves fully to the thrill of the season? I’ve been pondering this a lot lately.

Ritual

Advent simply means ‘coming’.  It’s an anticipatory time of preparation for hopeful things yet seen.  In church tradition, this thing is the birth of Christ, a savior.  It includes all these beautiful, sacred practices enrolling candles, wreaths, songs, smells, and colors.  I attend an Episcopal church that’s super liturgical and relic-heavy.  They do ritual really well and I absolutely love it largely because I need all the reminders I can get. Ritual creates infrastructure and order within which to practice these life-giving reminders.

Woo Woo

This is highly applicable for you and I as we have the opportunity to apply these same seasonal rituals  to the interior spaces of our lives and daily experience.  I call it an Advent of the Soul.  That’s a really woo woo way of describing our own sacred processional of time and space leading up to the birth of unique dreams and desires for the coming year.  The community we want to build, the business we want to start, the relationships we want to attract, the songs we want to write, the cities we want to explore, the joy we long to cultivate, and on and on.

Bonus

We unlock so much power as we tap into it and access its truth.  Other bonuses include: you don’t have to dress up, fight the cold of Sunday morning, or traffic for that matter, and the doors are always flung wide open, ready to welcome you in.  This advent takes place in the most exquisite cathedral of your heart, and it’s offered all day and every day wherever you are.  Disclaimer: this largely depends on our decision to stay present and awake to the moment instead of checked out in Netflix land with a vat of Chex Mix and a tumbler of Chardonnay.

3 Questions

Rituals are meant to ground us and that’s exactly what I need this time of year: a strong tethering to hope and a steady guide into truth.  This ritual of advent locks into my favorite daily practice: writing.  Don’t worry, I’m not heaving more homework on your already crazy schedules.  This will only take ten minutes, (of course more if you’ve got it!)

Answer these three questions:

1. What have you gained in 2016?  I know it’s been a rough year for many, however, find the silver lining and tease that out a bit.  Obstacles are always our best teachers.
2. What is your word?  Pick one word that is meaningful and representative of this new season and write it down.  Take a minute to unpack the story behind that word.  For example, I spoke with a man the other day who described this heaviness he’d carried the past several months due to lots of family drama.  He desperately wanted to put that unnecessary extra baggage down and decided“Levity” was his word for 2017.
3. What narrative of belief are you willing to let go of that’s holding you back?  Write that sucker down and see what comes up.  Try not to judge it, just notice what’s there.

Commit

Now commit—over and over and over again.  This is the stuff of that magical, sacred journey of rebirth; the Advent of our soul.  You will forget, stumble, and fall down into those dusty dark corners of old familiar voices time and time again.  That’s not the point.  The point is you keep daring, keep reaching, keep walking, one foot in front of the other, into what will come.  It’s a courageous path to forge and most settle for a lesser resistance.  You, my friend, are not most.

You’re also never alone on this journey… I’d love to hear your answers to these three questions this Advent season!

Love & Gratitude,

katie

Holiday Grounding 1.0: The Comparison Conundrum

Sometimes I need only to stand wherever I am to be blessed.

-Mary Oliver

I spent Thanksgiving week traveling up the coast of California.  It’d been a while since I carved out some space and time from work to rest, refuel, and get inspired.  Bustling cities and new scenery are food and drink for my constantly grazing right brain.  Beauty feeds my soul and feast I did all the way from the stunning beaches and glamorous people of Malibu to the magical cliffs and redwoods of Big Sur to the charming European-influenced smattering of architecture, shops, and restaurants in Carmel-by-the-sea.

Sacred

I’m still processing the aesthetic overload of cultural flavors, seascapes, energy, color, and well…just beauty.  Beyond grateful, I’m also spiritually rejuvenated.  I always feel closer to God when I travel.  There is a sacred gravity in the vastness of creation. It seems the face of God is nearly visible for me in nature, diverse people groups, and artistic expression.  The ocean speaks to me of this as well, that gorgeous beast of a force.  I’m reminded that love is so big and powerful, the more I open myself up to it, my tiny universe will grow and expand to absorb its Divinity.

Panic

After a much delayed flight back to Nashville and one heavily scented Uber car from the airport, (think Bath and Body Works Warm Vanilla Sugar overkill) all the way home, I hit the pillow and was out fast and deep,  fully satisfied from the week’s wanderings.  I woke up and decided it was the perfect grey coffee shop- kind of morning, so I ventured out for a drive to grab a very late  breakfast at my favorite local joint.  Strangely, I started to  notice this icky panicky feeling rising up in my chest.  About halfway out of the neighborhood my body and brain resounded an unlikely bleating alarm: HELP!

Christmas Vacation

I’ve had my fair share of anxiety before, yet this was completely out of the blue and barking on the heels of a restful week away.  Trying not to judge it, I kept on driving so as to allow it to just come and go.  It kept rising strong.  I looked up in frustration and beheld a very large, very sterile looking house  in front of me resembling a cross between Lord Farquaad’s castle in Shrek and the Griswold’s in National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation.  I did a full-on 360 head turn in slow motion only to discover each and every house around me completely lit up with blow up Santa’s, candy canes, and trees gloriously dressed in red bows and perfectly spaced white lights.

Too Much

Holy Mother!  The holiday race had begun and I was apparently still stretching (alone) at the starting line.  I was pretty sure we had a few strands of lights tangled up in the basement, and I bought a cute life-sized gold wire reindeer from Home Depot last year that nodded its head and lit up at night but our dog attacked it leaving it a mangled mess.  Who has the time to do all of that decorating, anyway? And the day after thanksgiving?  Apparently everyone!? I felt I’d shown up under-dressed a day late to the ball, and my lovely mother taught me to never dress down.  This festive extravagance was overwhelming.  I’d likely still be climbing out from underneath a week’s worth of laundry until Friday at best with my impending deadlines and catch up from the week away.  I was officially suffering a full-on holiday over-expectation attack.

Space & coffee

Okay, okay, I realize my story may sound ridiculous; first-world problems at best.  I finally drove off, the pity party died down, and I talked myself off the cliff after my second cup of coffee and a large helping of perspective.  Here’s the deal though: the catalyst of this anxiety is relative, however, the cold hard truth underlying is one size fits all and may be worth trying on.  Comparison and short-sighted vision were vying for the precious joy I’d gleaned while away on holiday.  Gratitude flooded my heart just an hour earlier, and in an instant, I was ready to forfeit everything in the name of Clark Griswold. Oh, hell no.

Green

Comparison is ALWAYS and in every form a total waste of time and emotional energy.  Period.  I love the Theodore Roosevelt quote, “Comparison is the thief of joy.”  Nailed it.  For all you Enneagram nerds out there, and further, for all you Enneagram fours (The Romantic/Individualist), comparison to others and resulting envy is a familiar pitfall to be aware of.  As a flaming four, I know this struggle all too well.  There’s this insidious coaxing inner dialog that insists the grass isn’t just greener on the other side, it’s sprouting up pure gold over there and what’s in front of me today is a waste of time.

Gratitude

The quick and failsafe exit strategy out of comparison prison is the ever-ready pathway of gratitude.  Remember the homework assignment from last week? Revisit last week’s post if you need a refresher on gratitude journals and do yourself and loved ones a favor: start one.  The minute I stepped out of gratitude and the boundaries of my truth and intention, I slipped into that old familiar chaos of comparison—NOT a good look.

Zoom Out

Then zoom out like one of those fancy wide-lens movie cameras on wheels you see in the behind the scenes.  (I’m sure there’s a proper name for them.)  I witnessed the power of this kind of perspective with new pristine clarity on my road trip up the coast.  I look back at the pictures I took certain points along the way and sure, they’re pretty.  Yet they’re mere snippets of the grand overture that played in my heart as I witnessed the mix of atmospheric changes, crashing waves, bursts of light, laughter, and conversation weaving it all together.  It was a most enchanting soundtrack; a long, unforgettable kiss of space and time.

I’ll Pass

So friends, this season when the comparison temptress calls and lays on her thick irresistible charm and beckons you to look outside of your truth, tell her you’re exactly where you’re meant to be.  Remind her where you’ve been and where you’re going and kindly inform her who’s in charge here.  Tell her how grateful you are for the unconventional twists and turns, the roadblocks, the free and fast stretches of open highway, and all those detours and gains—they have graciously led you to the place you are now.  Explain this curious notion ofacceptance and abundance: we can actually rejoice with those around us who thrive and succeed because the universe is a beautifully loving place and there is more than enough to go around.  Finally, thank her for her time and efforts: the offer’s attractive, yet you must respectfully decline.  Bid her farewellfor now, you’ve got a story to keep writing.

Let me know how it goes. 

Love,

katie

xoxo