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What if becoming someone was never the goal? A therapist and Enneagram facilitator on shedding the personas we mistake for our true selves.
Today you’re in for a treat! I’m bringing my pal Koula Callahan, master yoga instructor and speaker for the Self-Care Workshop, on the blog to share why movement, namely yoga, is incredibly powerful and important for us to practice as we move through our days. If you’ve always wondered what all the fuss is about —and yoga and why is really effective, today is the day—you’re going to get some answers.
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In April, I bombed a keynote—45 minutes late, broken A/V, a room that wanted their drink tickets.
Here's what that failure taught me about participation, discernment, and why every Enneagram type has its own sophisticated reason to wait until it's "ready."
What if becoming someone was never the goal? A therapist and Enneagram facilitator on shedding the personas we mistake for our true selves.
Today you’re in for a treat! I’m bringing my pal Koula Callahan, master yoga instructor and speaker for the Self-Care Workshop, on the blog to share why movement, namely yoga, is incredibly powerful and important for us to practice as we move through our days. If you’ve always wondered what all the fuss is about —and yoga and why is really effective, today is the day—you’re going to get some answers.
Six months before my breast cancer diagnosis, I was quietly falling apart. This is my story and the heart behind why I created the Self Care Workshop.
Discover how each Enneagram type relates to structure—and why the right kind of rhythm can help you thrive. Learn how to create supportive routines without stifling growth.
When we hear the phrase self-care, most of us picture bubble baths, yoga classes, or carving out an hour to finally read that book on our nightstand. And while those things absolutely have their place, if we stop there, we miss the deeper, sustaining work that actually helps us thrive.
What I’ve learned in my own healing and in my work with clients is this: self-care without self-compassion can feel more like another to-do list item when it’s really a relationship to nurture.
There’s a moment, sometimes subtle and sometimes seismic, when you realize you have the chance to begin again. Maybe it’s the first crisp morning after a long summer. Maybe it’s a job change, a new relationship, or even the quiet decision to show up differently in the one you’re already in.
I’ve learned that beginnings—whether chosen or thrust upon us—are vulnerable places. They ask something of us: a willingness to step into what we don’t yet know. And if you’re anything like me, that’s both exciting and a little unnerving.
This is where curiosity comes in.
Are you ready to stop running on empty and start living from a place of wholeness?
Join me, alongside Ally Fallon (best selling author + writing coach) and Koula Callahan (yoga teacher + speaker), for an unforgettable day of enneagram insight, intentional writing, and embodied movement — what I call the trifecta of true self-care.
Somewhere between the smell of freshly sharpened pencils and the first rustle of fall leaves, we’re invited into a familiar rhythm—one that feels both nostalgic and energizing. Whether or not you have a backpack in your life anymore, the back-to-school season has a way of nudging us to recalibrate, recommit, and reset. It’s not just for students. It’s for all of us seeking a deeper sense of alignment and intention.
So, in the spirit of fresh starts and The Back-to-School Edit.
“You can’t stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.”
“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes…including you.”
— Anne Lamott
“The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”
Mitch Albom
“The Enneagram helps you discover who you were before the world told you who you were supposed to be.”
-Ian Cron
“Distractions are everywhere. Notice what takes your attention, acknowledge it, and then let it go.”
-Andy Puddicombe, Founder of Headspace
Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life.
-Anne Lamott
“As long as you keep secrets and suppress information, you are fundamentally at war with yourself…The critical issue is allowing yourself to know what you know. That takes an enormous amount of courage.”
Bessel van der Kolk
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”
-Rumi
“Where we think we need more self-discipline, we usually need more self-love.”
- Tara Mohr
“The human body is a river of intelligence, energy, and information that is constantly renewing itself in every second of our existence.”
- Deepak Chopra
“When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.”
– Winston Churchill
“If we observe ourselves truthfully and non-judgmentally, seeing the mechanisms of our personality in action, we can wake up, and our lives can be a miraculous unfolding of beauty and joy.”
-Richard Rohr
“People will forget what you said, forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
-Maya Angelou
Space to Ponder
If you live in Nashville, you know that it is frozen solid, offering her inhabitants some forced down time, or the chance to bravely (?) slide around those icy streets (not recommended). So, how are we doing? Personally, after a week of being sick, I have traded in my flu symptoms fora case of good ole’ cabin fever. Neither is ideal, but I’ll take cabin fever over the flu any day!
If you live in Nashville, you know that it is frozen solid, offering her inhabitants some forced down time, or the chance to bravely (?) slide around those icy streets (not recommended). So, how are we doing? Personally, after a week of being sick, I have traded in my flu symptoms fora case of good ole’ cabin fever. Neither is ideal, but I’ll take cabin fever over the flu any day!
It is a curious thing that we often do not welcome the extra rest and space these inconvenient winter storms grant us. My observation is that we actually miss the hectic rat race of our normal schedules. Why is this? Perhaps when there is stillness and space, we must be totally present and aware of ourselves and our potential. We must go into that place and sit…and listen. Busyness allows us to detach and cruise along on autopilot. What I have learned over the years is that people on the therapeutic journey are extremely intuitive and creative on some level. We imagine more for our lives than autopilot; we want meaning…significance. Creative people do several things well, and one of those things is ruminate. We like to think, and over-think, and think about what our over-thinking means, and then we think about it some more for further clarification. I’m exhausted just thinking about it!
Our thoughts can be very beautiful, helpful creatures that bring life and even magic. Consider your favorite movie or song or childhood story book…they all began with a creative little explosion…a thought! Our thoughts can also be prisons, holding us captive as they team up with fear, anxiety, and perfectionism, stunting us from living life to the fullest, or at all. In this respect, I am amazed by how I get in my own way, intentionally choosing to foster toxic thoughts instead of life-giving ones. Is anyone with me?
How can space help?
Most of us want to have some semblance of control in our lives, (says the self-proclaimed control freak!) So, let’s use this to our advantage. Whether it is the longer than normal line at the grocery store, or winter storm Octavia (sidenote: I personally thought Frozen’s Anna or Elsa would be far more appropriate names than Octavia…but oh well), we will always have capsules of space to ponder and be one with ourselves; to choose connection. Delightfully enough, this space gives us time to connect with those things that steer our lives directionally: our Desires. Fear can steer us too, yet, in my experience, the scenery is much less inviting.
I Imagine how different a day can look if we feed hopeful, even excited thoughts instead of dreary, self-defeating ones. What stands in the way of you connecting with your desires for love, beauty, significance, prosperity, creativity, and connection? Furthermore, how can we excavate those heartfelt desires, and give them a voice and some air?
Well, last time I checked, this weather is not permitting much unnecessary busyness, so do yourself a favor, and embrace the space. Write down those desires. It’s just you and you. Encourage them in yourself just as you lovingly encourage a friend. It may feel awkward at first. However, you may just discover that after consistently choosing desire over fear today, tomorrow, and next month…each and every choice may just snowball into something very real and powerful.
With Love & Gratitude,
In April, I bombed a keynote—45 minutes late, broken A/V, a room that wanted their drink tickets.
Here's what that failure taught me about participation, discernment, and why every Enneagram type has its own sophisticated reason to wait until it's "ready."