Let Your Body Talk

What if there was an untapped intelligence source you had an all-access pass to and it could give you accurate answers to questions you’ve been seeking for quite some time?

What if you could give that overworked, overdeveloped prefrontal cortex a rest.  You know, that part of your brain that is responsible, highly analytical, and very adult?  She makes to-do lists, gets you to appointments on time, edits what you say and write, and generally keeps you zipped up nicely in order to make a good impression.  

And my oh my, is she exhausted!?!

I believe wholeheartedly, you most certainly can give her a well-deserved break.  

So stop whatever highly important thing you’re doing right now and start by giving yourself a hug.  Let your body know you’re listening and curious about what she has to say.  I’m dead serious.

Backstory:

In 2016, I set out on a crucial journey to reconnect with my body.  Sounds weird, right?  Perhaps; however, for me, it was necessary.  

Throughout my battle with an eating disorder back in high school and ongoing depression throughout my twenties and beyond, my recovery was largely cognitive (aside from the basic requirement of maintaining a healthy weight). 

There were also traumatic experiences along the way that made some deep and painful imprints, emotionally and physically.  I don’t think I even realized this then.

Now, when I say cognitive, I mean relying heavily on my thinking mind (prefrontal cortex central) and how to mentally process defeating thought patterns and behaviors in order to replace them with healthy ones. For example, therapy modalities such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and partnering psychotropic medications, or antidepressants.  

These were both helpful beyond belief and supported my healing in ways I’m eternally grateful for. 

2016 came along, and I began experiencing all kinds of physical pain and tension, manifesting in my upper back, throat, and jaw area.  It got so bad, I experienced difficulty singing and even carrying out conversation due to a feeling of extreme tightness.   

This wasn’t going to fly as I was ramping up to start writing for a new music project.  Discouraged and in pain, I put it on hold in order to find some answers I later learned were trapped inside my body.  

It was a catch 22 in that I thought I’d found my voice, yet at the time, wasn’t able to use it. 

I set out on a mission to crack this cryptic code within my body.  After all, emotionally I felt stronger than I ever had, yet the pain I was experiencing set me back day after day into a downward spiral of discouragement.  This mission would forever change the way I lived and worked.

I started knocking on every door.  Over the course of a year, I did brainspotting,  vocal training,  yoga,  body work, acupuncture, kinesiology, and tons of meditation, all of which were extremely helpful.

Curiously, though I knew this pain affected my voice, I knew this was not a “talking matter.” Hell, I had talked in circles trying to process this thing out, and apparently, my body would not let up.

From all of the incredibly patient and wise practitioners I worked with (whom I’ll thank here in just a moment), I learned that the body is one of three intelligence centers we have.  The mind, heart, and body are all crucial in processing life around us, yet again, western psychology focuses mainly on the brain.  

Has your body ever tried to warn you of potential sickness?  Energy levels flag, soreness peaks, and all you want to do is crawl into bed with some hot tea and binge on Netflix?  It’s trying to tell you to slow down, ramp up the vitamin C, because if you don’t, you might end up with the flu.  Your body talks.

This is the first of a new blog series centering on this glorious mind-body connection and wisdom.  I wanted to kick it off by telling you a bit of my story and dangling some of these alternative practices in your world as you may be in the market for some new ways of integrating. 

Brainspotting is a brain-based therapy that jumpstarts the healing process by moving trapped trauma out of your brain and body.  It was so powerful in my healing that I became trained in order to offer it in my practice.  This was the first step for me.  (For more info on brainspotting, check out an earlier post I wrote.) 

Not that I remotely have a green thumb, but I’m well aware that the first thing to come up when you plant flowers is dirt.  Metaphorically, this was spot on in my experience.  As I began listening to, and planting seeds of physical connection and nurturance through brainspotting, body work, yoga, and meditation, you better believe years of emotional dirt— or pain started to come up. 

Yet, instead of resisting or fixing the physical symptoms of pain as I’d done for months now, I leaned into its message with the help and support of this healing community.

What I learned from a wise chiropractor trained in eastern medicine is that my body had so many answers to help me along the way.  Yet, by relying primarily on cognitive therapy and medication at points along the way, I had shut out this body intelligence.  

Hear me out friend, I am a huge believer in talk therapy as well as psychotropic medication such as antidepressants.  Yet, we must not ignore the invaluable intelligence source we have in our bodies. It all works together.  Working with the pain instead of against it allows all that dirt to finally come up and out, so we can fully process it.  

We must befriend this brilliant body of ours and learn how to feel safe inside its skin.  

In The Body Keeps the Score, Bissel Van der Kolk shares:

“Neuroscience research shows that the only way we can change the way we feel is by becoming aware of our inner experience and learning to befriend what is going on inside our selves.”

Fast forward to today.  I have spent the last year reconnecting with my body’s intelligence and healing capacity with the support of wise practitioners.  Decades of depression and toxicity trapped inside my body needed to get out.  Even though I’d done so much of my own work, I learned I was still fairly detached from my body.    

I’m beyond grateful for people like Dr. David Grand, who invented brainspotting and was gracious enough to work with me last spring in his NYC practice.  Laura Donohue, my vocal coach for the past ten years, you safely held space for my countless emotional breakdowns in your studio because I couldn’t sing a simple note without streaming tears and inexplicable pain.  Dr. Suman Chaudhuri, chiropractor and alternative medicine Guru, thank you for connecting the dots and reassuring me I wasn’t crazy, I just had residual emotional pain and trauma that was looking for an exit.  Also, to my favorite English healer, Linda Penney (whom I affectionately call Money Penny), thank you for your pristine intuitive work and for helping me uncover the truth in my body through kinesiology and realignment on your table in Marina Del Rey, CA.  Our time together was truly life-changing.

There have been so many others, yet I won’t drone on like some lame awards speech.  I wanted you to know it takes a village.  It takes asking a lot of questions and reaching out.  It has forever changed the way I approach my work as a therapist, so as to offer more experiential, brain-based therapies.  I’m passionate about supporting you on the journey of total connection, mind-body-spirit.  

Transformation and healing is where we’re headed.  I do hope you’ll continue to join me on this next exciting leg of the journey.  Today especially, if you have any questions regarding this new conversation, I hope you will reach out.  It can feel overwhelming, believe me…I fully understand this.  

It’s worth every wobbly step.  

Love & Gratitude,

Katie

Rising from the Rubble — 3 Timely Reminders about Trauma

Hello Friend,

Today’s post is one I’ve had a difficult time writing for two weeks now.  The horrific blow of last Sunday’s shooting at the Route 91 Harvest Festival in Las Vegas has left me pretty numb in the way that this type of fear-generated evil does.  I hate it. 

I don’t know how you’ve processed it, yet if you are like me, layers and layers of hateful behavior tend to leave me feeling helpless, and often as a result, apathetic. 

How can I help?  

Is our world going to hell in a handbasket? 

What next? 

The grim reality sets in and my callouses begin to peek through.  

Wait a minute though, that’s me responding to fear with fear…  or even worse, apathy!  

This is perhaps the greatest danger possible: that fear would settle into apathy, and we might surrender to a new normal of acquiescence and cynicism.  

Fear, in the very least, elicits some reaction.  Apathy does nothing.

After a week of wallowing, I feel a healthy dose of righteous anger rising up and simply can’t back down.  

I’m grateful not to have lost anyone in the tragic attack. However, I’ve witnessed several who have been directly affected, unexpectedly saying goodbye to loved ones and life partners as well as having a branded traumatic experience filed away on a cellular level.  I cannot begin to comprehend that depth of sorrow, and I sincerely pray for comfort in their desperate time of need.  

How are you doing in light of all of this?  

Do you find yourself in the throws of pain and powerlessness despite not being directly affected by the shooting?  I’ve found that highly creative people also tend to be highly sensitive to what is happening around them.  You fall in this category.  

You are drawn to the interior journey towards wholeness and integration which is something not everyone signs up for.  Your willingness to connect is in and of itself intrinsically a creative, out-of-the-box endeavor.  

Here are a couple of reminders regarding trauma as we assess the damage, lean into the conversation, and rise from the rubble:

1) Trauma is trauma no matter how you slice it. 

I like the definition of trauma that says it is anything unwanted or unnatural that happens to you.  Just because you weren’t there in that open amphitheater in Vegas does NOT mean you aren’t suffering secondary or tertiary trauma.  

Simply being victim to 24-hour news coverage of the terror can be enough to blanket you in a thick layer of indirect trauma.  Knowing our limits to information and “breaking news” is a good thing. 

We’ve all been affected on different levels, and no one is comparing trauma to trauma: it's all relative, and we’re all in this together as different parts of the collective body.  

2) Grinning and bearing it is old news and going the “stoic” route won’t cut it.  

Inevitably, when we try to stuff our trauma or any emotion for that matter, it will eventually come out somehow and not in the loveliest of fashions.  

Any time we experience loss, we must grieve it.  What I’m learning about grief is it MUST be witnessed by safe people in our court whether it be a family member, a trusted friend, and/or a therapist/spiritual director.  We cannot grieve in a void.  

3) Find a creative outlet.

For me, this is writing.  I’ve damn near filled up two journals in the past month boiling over with unfiltered and unapologetic responses to natural disasters, political conundrums, and most definitely, the recent shooting in Vegas.  (I may as well be committed if anyone were to read said journal entries.) 

I devoted several pages to Tom Petty in there as well— he was surely a brave and gifted soul, iconic and irreplaceable on every level.  

What is your outlet?  Painting, baking, sculpting, guitar, yoga, or dance?  Whatever it is, pour your heart into it.  Emotional energy must be expressed, not repressed.  Repression and avoidance are siren songs that allure numbing agents like booze, food, drugs, work, and the like to make their seductive pitches.  We’ve got to get out in front of them by tapping into our inherent creative essence.

I’ve got more resources coming to you here very soon, but for now, here’s the invitation for you and me: we all have our own work to do in keeping our interior landscapes clean so as not to fall asleep in a stagnant pool of apathy.  

If you or someone you know is currently experiencing a fall-out from recent tragedies, reach out.  Don’t let lack of resources, fear of judgement, or perhaps the unknown, hold you back.  Nashville is fighting back from a place of love and accountability.  Join me on this path to connection, integration, and courage as we bridge the gap for the broken and openly talk about our wounds.

Take heart, my friend—you are not alone.  We are all inexplicably in this together.  That is the invaluable, stunning nature of the human spirit in its purest form: our pain joins us together and binds us into a beautifully broken patchwork that heals us over time.  Let this be your anchor as chaos and loss sweep heavily over our hearts.  It has surely been mine.

Love & Gratitude,

Katie

xoxo

A Brainspotting Session with Dr. Grand

“Where we look affects how we feel.”

-Dr. David Grand

It’s 4:30 am and I’m wide awake. In fact, I haven’t slept a wink. Sure, I struggle on and off with insomnia, but that isn’t the reason for this lack-of-shut-eye situation.

I’ve got a bad case of fan girl. By the time you read this, I will have already had my highly anticipated, seriously geeked out over, 90-minute session with Dr. David Grand, psychotherapist, writer, humanitarian, and performance coach, perhaps most well known for developing brainspotting. That’s right, I’m about to get brainspotted by the original brainspotter.

If you are unfamiliar with Dr. Grand and his groundbreaking method, hop on YouTube and check out his informative 101 video. It’s a great introduction.

Throughout the last several years, I’ve become more and more fascinated by the brain, its incredible capacity to heal itself, and the beautiful mind-body connection. I’ve experienced remarkable personal breakthrough throughout the past year using brainspotting in my own therapy, so naturally, when the opportunity arose to connect with Dr. Grand at his NYC office this week, I did a triple salchow at the chance. (Or something like that.)

I’m beyond grateful for this opportunity and can’t wait to share how it goes with you (video below).

If you’re intrigued, want to learn more about, or set up a brainspotting session, I’d love to connect. It’s a powerful resource that offers accelerated breakthrough for past trauma, emotional pain, as well as performance anxiety and enhancement.

Alright my friends, I’ll see you on the other side…and then…it’s nap time. 

Love & Gratitude,

Katie
xoxo

LOOKING FOR MORE INFO ON BRAINSPOTTING?

Read: “Forgiveness: How to Find Freedom from the Past“