A DISC & Enneagram Coach Walk into a Bar

If you’ve met me, you know I love the enneagram.  It’s been a major part of my own journey of self-development and healing.  It’s been the lens I look through as a therapist, coach, wife, mom, friend, creative, and leader.  I learned about it before going to school to become a therapist.  In fact, I’d attribute that decision to the passion for people’s stories I discovered while learning the enneagram.  Suffice it to say, I’m a fan.

But as the saying goes, there are several ways to skin a cat.  And, one of the beautiful things this self-discovery path has taught me is to be curious, honoring all the incredible tools out there that bring personal insight and transformation.  

Almost five years ago, I made one of the best decisions ever (south of marrying my husband ;).  I hired my business coach, Chris Weinberg at Well-Coached Consulting.  I had some dreams brewing and needed a guide to help me gear shift.  As a result, about six months in, The Practice, my enneagram-based membership program was born among countless other new ventures.  Chris had one mortal sin though, or so I thought at the time.  He was a DISC guy! And not just “a guy.”  He is THE GUY.  If you want the soup to nuts on the DISC personality profile, he’s the one you call, nationally and beyond.  He’s kind of a big deal!

Throughout the years, our partnership has been amazing as we’ve been able to intermingle DISC and enneagram insights to gain a greater sense of flow and impact in my work.  So much so, that we decided to team up for a very special workshop featuring both of these dynamic systems, side by side.  

Mark your calendars for a DISC x Enneagram deep dive Friday, September 20th from 10am-1pm at the stunning new Nashville City Club! We will explore both personality systems, side by side, over a delicious lunch, with a big side of FUN.  And Don’t worry, you don’t have to have an existing knowledge of either to attend.  We’ll have something for all levels of experience.

Plus, It will be the perfect opportunity to meet new like-minded people, network, and maybe even learn some new things about yourself!  Space is limited and tickets will go fast! So be sure to email me at katie@katiegustafson.co to get on the waiting list.  The minute registration opens, you’re in the know.  

I’m beyond thrilled about this event…don’t sleep on it! 

5 Ways to Protect Your Summer Self-Care

Summertime! Hello Gorgeous. 

Plot twist— summer months have always proven difficult for me because I’m a gal who LOVES structure.  Lame as it may sound, summer breaks as a kid were always a bit scary because, well, what does one do with a distaste for camping, forced summer reading, mosquitos, and frizzy hair induced by the punishing humidity of the deep south in July?  

Fast forward a few decades and some change and, even as a working mom, summer months can be tricky because the more grounded rhythms of other seasons are compromised.  School’s out, childcare is iffy, travel ramps up, backyard bbq’s abound, and my highly sensitive self needs some guardrails.  

It might be my dominant enneagram 4. It might also be that in some seasons, self-care is easier than others. I’m calling a both/and situation.  

So, I thought it might be helpful to share five ways to protect your summer self-care. (Real quick so as to give you back some time to live your best life.)

1. Be realistic. Said someone wise, “expectations are the thief of joy.” Adjust your expectations for self-care so as to make room for more joy! It will only fan the flame of motivation and desire on the flip side.

2. Work with what you’ve got.  No matter where you are and what your schedule is, there are always opportunities to plug into self-care.  Just because your typical routine might not be an option, seeking out alternative routes to move, rest, nourish, and play will only support a more balanced, restorative experience.

3. Self-compassion is a verb.  I’m a big believer that when all else fails, our self-care MVP is self-compassion.  Treating yourself as you would a dear friend-speaking to yourself with kindness—is the foundation of all other self-care.  When schedules fill up and life gets wonky, the last thing you need is self-criticism…it’s self-compassion.  

4. Choose connection over perfection.  As I write this it is 8:30pm on a late June evening.  I can still hear my four-year old’s footsteps pouncing around upstairs. (Dad’s such a softie when it comes to bedtime!) I want to cringe, but I also know that whereas structure and schedules are important, flexibility is as well.  Give yourself extra time and space to connect with the people who matter when the opportunity presents.  

5. Practice play.  The moment we stop playing, we start aging.  Summertime often presents us an invitation to flex this muscle in a special way. Take it. As I’ve learned all too well post cancer diagnosis and treatment, life is all about finding moments of joy and presence.  They are extravagant gifts strewn everywhere along the way, just like freckles on a sun-drenched face.  Let’s get out there!

Okay, signing off! Mom duty calls…! :)

It's my birthday! Let's have lunch...

Last week was my birthday! So, naturally, I’d love to invite you into a very special opportunity (over lunch!)

But first, I have a few bold off-the-bat questions for you:

• Do you long for greater sense of community? New friendships? 

• Do you want to better understand yourself and your relationships? 

• Do you want to take your enneagram understanding to the next level? 

• Do you desire a safe place to share some of your story? 

• Do you want to unlock personal and professional opportunities?

• Do you like the idea of group therapy, but over a delicious lunch?

I know, that was a LOT…

However, if you said yes to any of the above, you would LOVE my new Enneagram Mastermind group that starts up August 28th. It’s the perfect blend of deep connections, learning, fun, beautiful hospitality, and sharing sacred space as we move through an 8 month curriculum I’ve built specifically for this experience.  

Don’t worry, you don’t have to know a lot about the enneagram to join.  You don’t even have to be an extrovert either (big ole’ introvert over here:) .  Honestly, you just need to have a desire to connect in a deeper way to yourself and feel more seen and known in the context of community.  

Part of growth and healing requires relationship both with self and other safe people who have earned the right to hear your story.  Over the course of this group, we will build out that safety and trust so you can share parts of your story and how they have shaped your personality and core value system in a remarkable way.  

And if you know me, you know I’m all about editing and re-writing the parts of our stories that no longer serve us.  Yes, we will do lot’s  of this too.  

Get excited!  

Registration is open now, so be sure to save your seat at the table… 

I wish I would have known this at 25...

What piece of advice would you give your 25-year-old self? Sure, she may not have listened, but like any loving parent, you do what you can to steer your children in the right direction.  That head-strong seeker was only doing her best.  And yet today, you have matured into the expansive space  of perspective and more balance.  I know you have a lot to offer your younger, stubborn self.  

Me?  I would have a spirited come-to-Jesus about how to relax into the unknown, one brave and wobbly step at a time.  I’d tell her that having all the answers isn’t half as important as asking honest questions.  

Specifically, I’d love for her to understand what it means to have a growth mindset as opposed to a fixed one.  Less either-or and more both-and.  

As a recovering perfectionist, I’ve been all too familiar with what it means to have a fixed mindset.  You know, the way of thinking that is rigid and narrow.  It’s all about pass or fail, win or lose, good or bad, black and white.  It’s rooted in judgment rather than curiosity.  It’s refusing to take myself on a brisk 20-minute walk because I didn’t have enough time to do my hour-long high intensity workout.  

Here’s another example. You have your 6-month review at work.  Your boss gives you high marks in several areas but points out one specific necessary improvement in your performance on a big project.  A fixed mindset self-criticizes, labeling your performance as a failure.  A fixed mindset disregards the praise and zeros in on the area of improvement.   

A growth mindset celebrates the positive feedback and understands the value of constructive criticism for future success.  A growth mindset sees  life as a slew of peaks and valleys all leading to necessary learning and expansion.  It looks at life as an experiment, not a performance.

A growth mindset is the petri dish that breeds resilience.  A fixed approach creates inflexibility, closing us off from abundance and opportunity.  This  isn’t  about  glossing  over  reality.  It’s about softening your approach to  the inevitable ebbs and flow of life, and enjoying yourself a bit more along the way.

Spend some time this week pondering this:

What area of your life could you stand to soften into?  Is it your relationship  with food, your body, parenting, or work?  Is it your self-care?  Whatever it may be, I believe a great way to find out is to pay attention to our self-talk, that often nagging inner critic that rages on, involuntarily.   

Write it all down. 

I love what Tara Mohr says, “where we think we need more self-discipline,  we usually need more self-love.” 

What are the Enneagram Passions and Virtues?

If you know me, you know that I’m committed to helping people put the enneagram to work in their lives for greater transformation and freedom.  Why? Because it’s so much more than just a personality typing system; it’s a profound tool for personal growth and self-awareness. I know this first hand.  

One of the many ways we put this tool to practice in our lives is by understanding the passion and virtue of our type. What does this mean?  

The passion of our type is marked by a disconnection from the true self. This is the lower emotional state we fall into when we’re running on autopilot—living unaware. This emotional pattern is what keeps us in the grip of our personality, and not necessarily the lovely parts. ;)

Conversely, virtues represent who we are in higher emotional awareness. They are our truest, most authentic selves and are the opposite of the passions. Doing deep inner work helps us more toward this awareness, allowing us to gain insight into our own behaviors and motivations, as well as those of others. 

Let’s dive into these core aspects of the Enneagram to see how they shape our lives and guide us towards transformation.

Type 1: The Improver

• Passion: Anger (Resentment)
  
  Improvers often struggle with a sense of resentment, feeling that the world is imperfect and it is their job to correct it. This can lead to frustration and rigidity.  It is also exhausting.
  

• Virtue: Serenity
  
  When Type 1s embrace serenity, they find peace in the present moment, accepting imperfection without judgment. This allows them to channel their desire for improvement in a balanced and constructive way.

Type 2: The Helper

• Passion: Pride
  
  Helpers can become overly involved in the lives of others, driven by a need to feel indispensable. This can lead to an inflated sense of self-importance. Yikes!
  

• Virtue: Humility
  
  By cultivating true humility, Type 2s recognize their true worth without needing validation from others. This virtue enables them to give freely and genuinely, without expectation of reciprocation.

Type 3: The Achiever

• Passion: Deceit
  
  Achievers may deceive themselves and others by projecting a successful image, often disconnecting from their true feelings and needs.  Think 90’s tennis champ Andre Agassi…”Image is everything.” 
  

• Virtue: Honesty (Authenticity)
  
  Embracing authenticity allows Type 3s to be honest with themselves and others. This virtue helps them achieve true success by being genuine and transparent.

Type 4: The Romantic

• Passion: Envy
  
  Romantics often feel that something vital is missing in their lives, leading to a sense of envy towards others who seem to possess what they lack.  It keeps them on the treadmill of standing out…also exhausting!
  

• Virtue: Equanimity
  
  By embracing equanimity, Type 4s find balance and inner peace. This virtue helps them appreciate their unique identity and the beauty in their own lives without comparison.

Type 5: The Investigator

• Passion: Avarice (Greed)
  
  Investigators can become withdrawn, hoarding their time, energy, and resources out of fear of depletion.  This feeds a scarcity mentality and fuels their self-sufficiency.
  

• Virtue: Non-Attachment
  
  Cultivating non-attachment allows Type 5s to engage with the world more freely, sharing their knowledge and resources without fear of loss.  

Type 6: The Loyalist

• Passion: Fear
  
  Loyalists are often driven by fear and anxiety, constantly seeking security and support from external sources.  I mean, how many different insurance policies can one have?  Never too many according to these girl and boy scouts.  
  

• Virtue: Courage
  
  By developing courage, Type 6s learn to trust themselves and face their fears head-on. This virtue empowers them to navigate uncertainty with confidence.  It’s not the absence of fear, it’s showing up despite their fear. 

Type 7: The Enthusiast

• Passion: Gluttony
  
  Enthusiasts can become overindulgent, constantly seeking new experiences and pleasures to avoid pain or boredom.  Let’s keep life up and open…and never boring. Peter Pan enters stage left.  
  

• Virtue: Sobriety (constancy)
  
  Sobriety helps Type 7s find satisfaction in the present moment. This virtue allows them to enjoy life’s pleasures in moderation and appreciate simplicity.

Type 8: The Challenger

• Passion: Lust (Excess)
  
  Challengers often seek control and power, driven by a lust for intensity and excess.  Go big or go home, right?
  

• Virtue: Innocence
  
  Embracing innocence allows Type 8s to be open and vulnerable, channeling their strength in compassionate and constructive ways.  It connects them to the softness and truth of their inner child they had to put away far too early. 

Type 9: The Peacemaker

• Passion: Sloth
  
  Peacemakers may fall into complacency, avoiding conflict and neglecting their own needs and desires.  They aren’t necessarily physically lazy, but when the focus of attention is on them, their energy goes way down.  Naptime!
  

• Virtue: Action (Engagement)
  
  By cultivating action and engagement, Type 9s become proactive in their lives, addressing conflicts and pursuing their passions with energy and commitment.

I know, I know…that was like drinking from a fire hose with a teacup.  Take heart, this month in the Practice, my enneagram-based self-care membership program, we are doing a deep dive into all this.  Join me to  learn more!