Your Foolproof Self-Care Regimen for 2023

IIf there was one myth I’d love to blow up it’s this: Self-care is selfish.

Okay, maybe two: Therapy is for the weak. 

I’d also love to rebrand self-care as self-compassion.  It’s more a way of being with yourself rather than a way of doing for yourself.  Sure, both are important, but I believe if we know how to be with ourselves, befriend ourselves, and speak to ourselves like we would a loved one, the loving actions will surely follow.  

And so the basis for self-care is really self-understanding.  Thich Nhat Hanh said, “Understanding is love’s other name.” I surely believe this.  And so the basis of any self-care regimen is just that: to understand ourselves.  

The Enneagram is the best tool we have for developing more self-understanding.  This is one of the reasons I believe that it is the basis for any self-care regimen or mindset.  We can be with ourselves with more ease when we understand the motivations for how we think, feel, and act.  These motivations populate our thoughts and as a result, our beliefs about life, relationships, and the world around us.   

Again, the beginning of love is understanding.  This is crucial.  

You may be very familiar with your Enneagram type wondering, what next?

As we develop greater self-awareness and understanding, we build a beautiful foundation to then create rhythms, rituals, or practices in our daily lives to further bake in this loving relationship with ourselves.  These  practices help us solidify the true, essential desires and intentions we have for ourselves.  In essence, they improve our overall quality of life, mind, body and heart, bringing balance where there is imbalance.

They also help us process and manage the stressors we bump up against each and every day. 

If you are longing for a deeper, more accepting relationship with self this year, I invite you to join me and my friends Ally Fallon and Koula Callahan at the Self-Care Workshop on February 25, 2023 in Nashville.  We will be putting all of this to work and you will leave with a personalized self-care plan for your unique Enneagram type.  Oh, and it’s going to be loads of FUN. 

Whereas life is fraught with uncertainty, you are not powerless! It’s time to take back that power.  I hope you’ll join me on the 25th! 

2023, Hello Gorgeous!

I’ve been itching to say these words for awhile now: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Whereas tangibly nothing is different and the clock just rolled over as it  does every December 31st, what does seem to change is our mindset—how we approach time.

There’s a stirring in the air, a blank slate if you will, and yet nothing has really changed.  Interesting isn’t it?  

I love what Meister Eckhart said, “Be willing to be a beginner every single morning.” A new year presents the invitation to begin again.  I believe every morning presents the same life-giving invitation as well.  It’s an opportunity to live wholeheartedly, with purpose and curiosity.  It’s the opportunity to step into your God-given shoes of worthiness no matter what is achieved, accomplished, or lost.  

You are the hero of your own journey.  In every single good story, the hero is met with upending challenges that test belief, identity, and most of all, hope.  And yet you, the hero, have the opportunity to begin again, every single day, with fresh vision and commitment.  

I’d love to be your guide this year on the blog.  I’d love to support you with tools, practices, and self-care opportunities I have been creating for a while.  You can expect to gain short, practical insights every Tuesday that make it just a bit easier to show up for yourself—and be with yourself—in a courageous and loving way.  

I’ll also be offering online Enneagram and self-care classes each month if you’re interested in a deeper self-development dive. 

Of course, I’d love for you to join me in my monthly subscription program called the Practice, if you’re interested in creating structure and accountability as you set out to meet the goals and intentions you’ve set for yourself this year.  It’s a self-care toolkit that combines practical ways to use the Enneagram, mindfulness, and self-compassion in your daily experience.  

Wherever you decide to join me, I want you to know how  grateful I am to be a part of your wellness journey.  It’s such an honor to have your company.  

I’ll leave you with a question:

If you continue on the self-development path you are on, where would you  like to be a year from now? What does your life look like?  What’s different?  The same?

I’d love to hear your answers!  Drop me a line if you’d like.

Alright, friends!  It’s showtime…

Palate Cleanser

Happy New Year!

We’re doing it! We’re about to cross over the threshold of 2023, showing up for ourselves all along the way. 2022 was a year of ongoing cancer-related surgeries and recovery for me, so launching into a brand new year feels especially poignant—and exciting!

There’s always the temptation to bite off more than we can commit to when considering New Year’s resolutions. Like I’ve said before, I’m convinced humans choose extremes over balance more days than not. We go all in, sink or swim, only to wake up a week later in too deep and grasping for air.

So let’s ease into it. Let’s hit the palate cleanse. Let’s listen to the gentle rhythms of our desires, our longings, our needs. Let’s partner with ourselves from a place of self-compassion, like we would a loved one we believe in and want to support. Let’s speak to ourselves with kindness and curiosity, turning down that harsh inner critic that keeps us small and hustling for worthiness. Let’s breathe more—slower and deeper than usual. I’m convinced we could all use a return to the breath and the body as a way of being present.

Let’s start small. And from that place of stillness and silence, we begin to etch out the tiny, two-degree shifts of growth and expansion that over time, create big breakthroughs. It’s often helpful to partner with a professional in order to gain greater support and accountability. If you’re looking to use the Enneagram as a part of your 2023 self-development, I’d love to help make that happen. You’re the expert at you, and I’ve got a detailed roadmap to get you from where you feel stuck to where you long to be.

No matter what you want to create in your life this year, I hope you’ll continue to journey with me. I’ve got some exciting stuff coming your way that I can’t wait to share.

In the meantime, do a little dreaming...a little playing. It’s time to let your true self take the wheel. She’s ready!

A Christmas Letter to You

I have a hunch you have a lot going on this week. With Christmas only a few days away and New Years just around the bend, many of us are traveling, gathering, and hopefully… connecting.

I’m reminded of how lonely this time of year can be as well. I’ve had many seasons of life where the holidays were, very truly, bleak. So I can’t help but write you today and check in. As an Enneagram type 4, that sensitive ache is never too far off, for better or worse. I say yes to the ache, though. Without it, I forget how fragile and thin life’s veil is. I learned that big time with my cancer diagnosis.

I feel more connected to you as I connect to my own human frailty. This is why the practice of self-compassion is so beautiful and spacious. It invites our pain and suffering to have a voice, knowing that this is the connective tissue of being human. It doesn’t shut that voice out in the cold, though. It leans in, curiously, with kindness—so as to alleviate that felt pain and loneliness. It says, “I see you, friend. I see your pain—the weight of your heavy burden—and I love you no matter what. I’ll stay awhile with you.”

This season, consider someone in need. Who might be alone? Who may be hurting? As you enter into the spirit of the season, invite them there with you, even in the prayer chamber of your heart. What a powerful message we send to the world as we create space in our hearts for the ones who are broken. We overcome scarcity with generosity—lack with abundance.

I pray this week, you would hear more love than noise, see more light than sorrow, feel more joy than fear. In the quiet hours of the morning, I pray that you sense a palpable belonging.

The Holiday Edit

If there is something I hear from clients like a broken record, it’s this: I need tools.  

I love hearing this because I’m a firm believer that the reason we don’t see the progress we’d like to in therapy is that we lack ongoing support outside the therapy office.  Whatever we practice we improve; however, we often get in the habit of leaving all the insight and  growth we experience in session, well, right there in the session.  

You wouldn’t expect to go to the gym twice a month and see the results you desire without any additional changes made.  Quite the contrary.  Our results depend on diet, metabolism, consistency, accountability, and mindset just to name a few.  

And so it is with our emotional fitness.  We need tools: practices and resources to bake into our daily lives that support the change we seek.  

I know, I know.  We are in the 11th hour of 2022 and the tendency is to coast right past the finish line into the new year. 

So, I want to share my top five resources with you to help you finish strong and wake up on New Year’s feeling clear and ready for the dawn of a new day.  I don’t know about you, but I’ve got some big goals and desires!

Without further ado, here are my 5 favorite wellness resources to help us round this corner:

1) The Self-Care Workshop:  On February 25, Ally Fallon, author and expert writing coach, Koula Callahan, yoga teacher and speaker, and myself will host the second Self-Care Workshop in Nashville, TN.  It will be a day of Enneagram exploration, writing, and movement which in my mind is the trifecta of self-care: growing in understanding and compassion for your unique self and creating a foolproof self-care plan for the rest of 2023.  Sign up for this transformational experience here. 

2) The Practice: Two years ago I created an Enneagram-based self-care membership program to provide you with tools.  Tools to use outside the therapy office to help people achieve the goals they have for themselves— mind/body/spirit.  It combines a weekly Enneagram exploration with meditations, journal prompts, yoga videos, monthly group coaching, and expert interviews with incredible voices in the wellness and Enneagram space.

3) Streaming Exercise memberships: We must not let up on exercise just because we’re in the home stretch of 2022 and there's a solid sugar coma waiting at every turn!!! In fact, seasonal depression and anxiety are actually spiking right now—physical exercise is crucial for us to process unruly emotions and regulate stress.  I’ve been a Tracy Anderson method fanatic for over a decade now, so her streaming membership is my go-to.  Another favorite is Mellisa Wood Health for amazing yoga classes and more.  Both offer free trials!

4) Huberman Lab Podcast: I’m always on the hunt for a science-backed wellness podcast.  This past year I found one of my favorites.  But even better, it focuses on neuroscience, my favorite thing to geek out on.  It’s so tempting to wait until January 1 to rein in our health and wellness routines.  That is exactly why this should be a painless tee-in!

5) Infrared Sauna blankets: My love for infrared is real.  Going to the sauna has been a huge part of my recovery road from cancer.  So much so I bit the bullet and bought a Higher Dose infrared blanket for at home use!! I absolutely love it for the detoxifying (oh hey sugar), heart, skin, and overall wellness benefits.  They are a lot less expensive than buying an actual sauna as well! Alright my friends, I hope these will serve as an extra nudge this season to give yourself the gift of self-care in a time we need it most!

Alright my friends, I hope these will serve as an extra nudge this season to give yourself the gift of self-care in a time we need it most!