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Generosity with a Twist...A Meditation
“Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity.”
- Simone Weil
How are you? I mean, really?
Have you made a point this season to slow down, take a few breaths, and give back to you? I truly hope so. After all, at the centerpiece of this “most wonderful time of year” is generosity—namely—gift-giving.
That being said, I want to bring our awareness to this beautiful practice from a slightly different angle. It might be due to the fact that I’ve yet to buy a single gift. Or, it might be the fact that I’m terrified to take my three-month-old to the mall (I know, gotta bite the bullet one of these days.) But then there’s always Amazon. I digress.
My point is, I believe generosity is a practice we miss out on because we largely identify it with material things like stuff, money, and time. We also tend to focus generosity outward—toward someone else. Oh, but there’s so much more! I believe the most exquisite brand of generosity underlies all of those things and must begin with ourselves. It’s a spirit of generosity…a posture we take…rather than checking off the wish list.
Being generous with ourselves and others means something much deeper than gift-giving. It means giving the invaluable gift of availability—openness. It means being curious in each moment as we experience life’s precious minutes, smiles, unknowns, joys, disappointments, and possibilities.
As with anything, we must always dress-rehearse these practices with ourselves. As you offer yourself an open mind and heart, cultivating a sense of curiosity and non-judgment, it becomes a natural overflow into your relationships with others.
Have you ever given someone something special like a big block of time or a meaningful token and you felt it went under-appreciated? I know I have. I end up feeling pretty resentful on the inside, making the sentiment of generosity more about me than the recipient. When this happens, I’m pretty certain I’m looking for something from that person I need to be giving myself—value and appreciation.
This week, we’ll spend some time practicing generosity of spirit towards ourselves in order to bypass that resentment. When we intentionally give to ourselves out of genuine appreciation, we fill a void that we tend to look to others to meet.
I want to give to others from an authentic, loving space this season. How about you? Let’s start by getting grounded in generosity and becoming available and nurturing to the places inside us that feel tired and needy. My hunch is, all the other “stuff” will be the glaze on your sticky toffee pudding. Not only that, but those gifts under the tree will take on a much deeper meaning.
Love & Gratitude,
Katie
What actually *is* self-care?
“What actually is self-care?”
Dear %FIRSTNAME%,
We're told practically everything is self-care. How do you know what's legit?
It seems like everything can be termed ‘self-care’ these days.
Going through a bad breakup? Go buy yourself a new pair of jeans because it’s self-care.
Had a rough week at work? Spa day! It’s self-care.
In a fight with your spouse or your parents? Two bottles of wine with your friends. It’s self-care!
We’ve all been there. But the truth is, those “quick fixes” aren’t the answer to personal growth. In fact, they have the opposite effect. They help you tune out and ignore what’s actually going on.
Yes, they’re helpful for a few hours or even a whole day. But then you wake up a few days later still anxious about that same thing.
It would be amazing if those things worked long-term. Sadly, they just don’t.
Here’s the reality: if we want to work through things that are hard and not just work around them, we need to develop the right skills. Not only that, but we also need to have the right routine that will help us process things in a healthy way and truly exhibit self-growth.
It’s precisely why I'm co-hosting the Self Care Weekend Workshop with two amazing women, Allison and Koula. In a day and a half, we'll teach you the tools you need to develop a healthy, sustainable self-care practice. You’ll also leave with your personalized self-care plan that will help you achieve positive growth in your life.
You have everything you need to practice healthy self-care. At this first-ever, all-female workshop, you’ll learn how to tap into those things.
Things like...
A basic yoga and meditation practice to help you connect with your body and move stuck energy
Writing tools that will help you understand what’s keeping you stuck
A tool called the Enneagram to help you understand why you behave the way you do
When you combine these tools into a self-care routine that you can practice with consistency, your life will transform.
If you're in a season of needing transformation and positive growth, join me at the first-ever Self-Care Weekend Workshop. It’s just $499 for a day and a half of real, clinically-based self-care. Register today and I'll see you soon!
Love & Gratitude,
Katie
How to Practice Self-Compassion…A Meditation
“If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete.”
- Jack Kornfield
One of my greatest struggles in life has been my relationship with food. This took the shape of an eating disorder in high school that continued well into my twenties. At the core of this crippling bondage was shame. It was dark.
I remember the Holidays always being so tough for me because there was indulgent food at every corner—my parents house, work, holiday parties, you name it. Anorexia doubles down and pulls out all the stops this time of year. It has to in order to survive. I, on the other hand, was slowly dying.
As I began recovery, the most difficult thing in the world was to find even a tablespoon of self-love. It was too far a jump to make from the deep, toxic shame to a shiny self-acceptance. It felt flimsy and fake. If I had known about the practice of self-compassion back then, I believe it would have softened the edges of that rigid relationship with Katie a ton.
Yet our process is always right on time and I discovered this thing called self-compassion reading two great books in my mid-thirties. Self-Compassion by Kristin Neff, Ph.D., and Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach. They both completely changed my life and informed my work. (nudge, nudge…)
In essence, self-compassion is a practice of befriending yourself, as you would another person, flaws and all. There’s no hustle to cover up or change the broken parts and shadows. It’s a beautiful movement towards those things as opposed to a race to escape them. I can honestly say it has opened up a stunning new path for me and improved my relationship with virtually everything and everyone. After decades of harsh self-loathing and dissociation, I’ve begun to integrate all the parts of me. And guess what??? I like her…a lot.
This week, as you come off of Thanksgiving and ride full steam ahead into the vortex of the Holidays, I hope you will join me in the practice of self-compassion with this new meditation. As you run every which way, I pray you’ll carve out some space for you, even if just 5 minutes, to breath and reconnect to the most important teammate you’ve got—you. She needs you right now more than ever…and most of all, she deeply loves you. After all, she knows you inside and out and might even offer up some wisdom as you navigate these last days of 2019.
Try it on for size. If you’re interested in going deeper into this practice, I’ve got some exciting opportunities this winter.
Click here for more info on that.
Love & Gratitude,
Katie
Your Most Powerful Tool...A Gratitude Meditation
“Wear gratitude like a cloak and it will feed every corner of your life.”
- Rumi
Happy Thanksgiving week! This is by far my favorite Thursday of the year as well as one of my absolute favorite holidays. I savor the vibrant smells and tastes of seasonal comfort foods, the cozy roaring fire that cracks and burns in the fireplace, and I adore the fact that in this beautiful country of ours, we’ve managed to preserve the fourth Thursday of every November to remember, cherish, and give thanks over a meal.
Speaking of, many of you will sit down around a dinner table of some kind with loved ones and enter into a food coma at its finest in just a couple of days. Perhaps you’ve started the party early. I sincerely hope you enjoy every bite and minute of your day.
And some of you are in places of lonely transition. The holiday looks much different than you’d hoped and that Norman Rockwell ideal has once again vaporized into a wishful mist. My heart knows the pain of similar loneliness and I pray you will find some light in the cracks of that thin space this week.
Wherever you are on your journey, I want to give you something to take with you, whatever your situation may be. It’s a guided gratitude meditation you can practice beyond today and throughout this Holiday week and season. I believe gratitude is one of the most powerful forces, turning the darkest skies a paler grey and shifting toxic, negative thoughts into grounded presence. It’s always available to us and it’s totally free.
As you navigate the coming days and weeks, I hope you’ll join me in practicing not only meditation but gratitude at every turn. I’ve found that when I lose sight of gratitude, I start comparing my experience to others and become quite resentful.
In an instant, gratitude shifts our focus from scarcity and fear to the wide-open spaces of graceful possibility. Your inner dialog softens and your tired bones relax. Just by saying, “thank you,” your heart may start to open. We talked last week about how important openness and curiosity are if we are to receive good things in our lives. In step with this, gratitude is like pouring rocket fuel on the process, accelerating this manifestation.
I’ll start us off right here and now with my deep and stirring gratitude that bubbles up in my heart daily: I am grateful for you. I’m grateful for your courage on the journey that’s brought you, in all of your beautiful brokenness, exactly where you sit today. I’m inspired by your uniqueness and blown away that you show up and meet the world’s deep need for gifts and talents that only you can bring. Thank you for being you, day after day. Thank you, thank you thank you…
Here is a small token—a gratitude meditation practice.
Love,
Katie
New Holiday Meditation! How to Find Acceptance
“Our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance.”
- Brené Brown
The whole notion of acceptance can be tricky. After all, if we accept something in our lives, doesn’t that mean we then subscribe to it, caving to its longterm effects?
If I’m feeling anxious or lonely this time of year, doesn’t accepting that make me weak or irresponsible?
Quite the contrary.
In order to experience change on any level, we must become aware of what we want to see change and accept that it is indeed there! We won’t gain anything by resisting and pretending it doesn’t exist!
By resisting uncomfortable emotions and realities in our lives, we only prolong what we resist. As a result, we also create tension in our bodies that creates all kinds of long-term negative outcomes down the road. Instead, we must learn to be on our own team, lovingly accepting our experience, rather than constantly judging from a place of shame.
If we want to do better for ourselves and those around us, we must soften, opening up to “what is.” It is through this soft and receptive acceptance we can consciously choose something better.
Today’s meditation is a practice that will guide you through the process of acceptance. I use the word practice very intentionally! Why? Because whatever we practice we become better at. My hope this holiday season is not that we will chase an unrealistic expectation of constant merry and bright (though there may be more of that than normal). My hope is that no matter what your experience, you will practice allowing and accepting it. From that place of acceptance, we can collectively create something new and meaningful.
Love & Gratitude,
Katie