Do It Afraid

Halloween is one of those holidays that’s not hot on my radar.  I don’t have a problem with it, I just don’t have much buy in.  And here’s why: growing up, my siblings and I weren’t allowed to trick-or-treat, let alone decorate the yard with creepy hollow-faced ghouls and witches riding rickety broom sticks.  You may have had friends like me growing up whose conservative Christian upbringing left little room for Halloween hoopla.  Instead, we were dropped off at a youth-group “fall fest” wearing plaid flannel, with a bonfire, some s’mores, and a singalong in our very near future.  

I’ve got a confession to make: To this day on Halloween, I turn all the lights off in the house, build a fire, and watch something relatively scary on Netflix over my favorite frozen pizza and a handful of the choicest Halloween candy.  Yep, I’m that girl who pretends not to be home. Okay, okay, I do leave a huge plastic pumpkin full of the candy dregs I passed on out on the front porch for those sugar-crazed tricksters who come around.  I’m not apathetic and heartless.   

It’s very curious to me that we celebrate a holiday that actually capitalizes on the emotional response of fear. 

I actually love it.  

I love it because in a peculiar way, Halloween takes all those things we’re supposed to fear—grotesque monsters with missing eyeballs, zombies, skeletons with strange looking hats on, and the like—and brings them out of the mysterious dark corners of our bedroom at night, placing them smack dab on the front lawn in broad daylight.  Then, we take it a step further and slap on a sugar-buzz that carries us right on through to Thanksgiving.  Brilliant, don’t you think?

It’s an invitation to stare down, and even mimic, the things that scare us. 

Not only is it an invitation to engage our fear, it’s also a reminder that our biggest fears are, in actuality, about as imminent—and convincing—as that rubber mask you dressed up in as a kid.  
In fact, ninety-nine percent of our fears don’t even happen.  Sure, fear has kept us alive as a species for centuries, however, we don’t necessarily need it for survival anymore as our primal ancestors once did.  

As you know, I’ve been radio silent ever since my trip out to the “Enneagram Camp” in California this past August. My time away was simply transformational and quite honestly, I’ve been gun shy to unpack it fully here on the blog. In fact, the experience felt like holy ground—a sacred passageway I’ll never forget.  

Perhaps this is because it was such a safe and inspired space to explore the fears that keep me operating out of my ego-or Enneagram type Four structure.  I spent lots of time exploring the masks I hide behind in order to show up in the world as special or significant, because if I didn’t, I might be found out as simply inadequate or worse—ordinary—an Enneagram type four’s living hell.   

One day I’ll unpack the whole experience.  For now though, I want to invite you to join me in facing those very things we fear the most.  This could be a part of you that isn’t serving you well, or perhaps a creative endeavor you’ve been putting off for a long time because it’s simply “too big.” It’s time we embrace those fears for what they really are and see them up close in broad daylight.  You know what Fear stands for, right? 

False Evidence Appearing Real.  

This season, I’m excited to invite you into more opportunities to break through all those old narratives of fear.  Stay tuned for lots of exciting Enneagram as well as community opportunities to connect in powerful ways coming your way soon.    

In the mean time, it’s time to decide what the next courageous step in your journey of self-discovery and expansion is and say yes to it.  Sounds terrifying, right?  Perfect, you’re on the right track.  

Just Do it… afraid. 

Love & Gratitude,
Katie

Spring Cleaning and The Truth About Depression

I married a collector. Mostly of musical instruments/gear, tools (because you can never be too prepared), and memorabilia from meaningful past events in life. He is the most thoughtful man I've ever met, and very sentimental.  

I, on the other hand, am more of a minimalist. (Except of course, when it comes to shoes.) I can’t stand clutter, and I throw or give away the things that no longer serve a purpose in the present moment. That or I’ve simply gotten tired of looking at them.  

We never argue about this either… Ha!

Neither way is right or wrong; it’s just what we learned growing up. My family moved house a lot, and my mother is notorious for giving everything away. It’s lovely and drives me mad all at once. The fact that she “lost track” of my Grandmother’s custom designed (by Christian Dior himself!) frocks from the 40’s makes me cry and rage all at once. Don’t worry though; I’m working through that in therapy.

I believe there is a massive link between the space we create to live in, both figurative and literal, and the way we feel. I believe this to be true for the spaces we call home and work as well as in the temple of our physical beings. We must be intentional about creating space for an inspired, purpose-driven life.

That said, I also believe the opposite of depression isn’t happiness, it’s purpose.  

In light of this, I’d like to explore this idea of Spring Cleaning to create space for even morepurpose in your life.  

Here we are in April. The days are a wee bit longer, and the vibrancy of nature’s colorful fashion show is in full effect. Mother Nature gets full-on cocky this time of year.

The tendency is to dust off the winter’s cold and musty residue to make room for what’s to come. We edit our closets, our bookshelves, our fitness routines, as well as our businesses (hello Mr. Tax Man) in order to wipe clean the slate. I freaking love it.  

Isn’t it curious too that studies show a massive lift in depression levels when Springtime rolls around? The seasonal affective curse wanes a bit as vitamin D levels rise. We’ve re-engaged with the hope of something new, something better. We’re getting outside more.  

No matter the season, I sink into a deep and desolate valley of depression when I lack connection to purpose and passion. Circumstantial happiness might thrust me out of it momentarily, but it never sustains.  

This week, I’d love to invite you into a Passion Challenge, if you will. It’s a seven day invitation to connect to something you’re passionate about that fuels your purpose. You don’t need to quit your day job to participate, you just need to do a couple of small chores.

I’ll be giving you more in-depth instructions for the challenge later this week. For now, I’ve got a bit of prep work to give you.  

Identify the clutter. You know the stuff. It’s the fear and confusion you have a death grip on in that lovely head of yours. It’s the old programming of your thoughts that only know a painful past experience, and yet seems to dictate your current reality. 

Take fifteen or so minutes and do a thought detox by writing down all of the narratives and negativity that hold you back. Don’t edit or filter, just write them down in your journal. The “I never have enough time” and “I’m too old to pursue my dreams” and “I don’t know’s.” (That phrase seems so benign yet is a HUGE purpose blocker). 

It’s vital to locate what’s not working in order to clean it up and replace it with something new— better.  

Let this question light the way, “Who is the person I want to become?”  

Anything that clutters that picture should likely be in your thought detox.  

There is limitless power in purpose. It’s time to create lots of space to move yours forward. 

You ready?

Love & Gratitude,
Katie