Do It Afraid

Halloween is one of those holidays that’s not hot on my radar.  I don’t have a problem with it, I just don’t have much buy in.  And here’s why: growing up, my siblings and I weren’t allowed to trick-or-treat, let alone decorate the yard with creepy hollow-faced ghouls and witches riding rickety broom sticks.  You may have had friends like me growing up whose conservative Christian upbringing left little room for Halloween hoopla.  Instead, we were dropped off at a youth-group “fall fest” wearing plaid flannel, with a bonfire, some s’mores, and a singalong in our very near future.  

I’ve got a confession to make: To this day on Halloween, I turn all the lights off in the house, build a fire, and watch something relatively scary on Netflix over my favorite frozen pizza and a handful of the choicest Halloween candy.  Yep, I’m that girl who pretends not to be home. Okay, okay, I do leave a huge plastic pumpkin full of the candy dregs I passed on out on the front porch for those sugar-crazed tricksters who come around.  I’m not apathetic and heartless.   

It’s very curious to me that we celebrate a holiday that actually capitalizes on the emotional response of fear. 

I actually love it.  

I love it because in a peculiar way, Halloween takes all those things we’re supposed to fear—grotesque monsters with missing eyeballs, zombies, skeletons with strange looking hats on, and the like—and brings them out of the mysterious dark corners of our bedroom at night, placing them smack dab on the front lawn in broad daylight.  Then, we take it a step further and slap on a sugar-buzz that carries us right on through to Thanksgiving.  Brilliant, don’t you think?

It’s an invitation to stare down, and even mimic, the things that scare us. 

Not only is it an invitation to engage our fear, it’s also a reminder that our biggest fears are, in actuality, about as imminent—and convincing—as that rubber mask you dressed up in as a kid.  
In fact, ninety-nine percent of our fears don’t even happen.  Sure, fear has kept us alive as a species for centuries, however, we don’t necessarily need it for survival anymore as our primal ancestors once did.  

As you know, I’ve been radio silent ever since my trip out to the “Enneagram Camp” in California this past August. My time away was simply transformational and quite honestly, I’ve been gun shy to unpack it fully here on the blog. In fact, the experience felt like holy ground—a sacred passageway I’ll never forget.  

Perhaps this is because it was such a safe and inspired space to explore the fears that keep me operating out of my ego-or Enneagram type Four structure.  I spent lots of time exploring the masks I hide behind in order to show up in the world as special or significant, because if I didn’t, I might be found out as simply inadequate or worse—ordinary—an Enneagram type four’s living hell.   

One day I’ll unpack the whole experience.  For now though, I want to invite you to join me in facing those very things we fear the most.  This could be a part of you that isn’t serving you well, or perhaps a creative endeavor you’ve been putting off for a long time because it’s simply “too big.” It’s time we embrace those fears for what they really are and see them up close in broad daylight.  You know what Fear stands for, right? 

False Evidence Appearing Real.  

This season, I’m excited to invite you into more opportunities to break through all those old narratives of fear.  Stay tuned for lots of exciting Enneagram as well as community opportunities to connect in powerful ways coming your way soon.    

In the mean time, it’s time to decide what the next courageous step in your journey of self-discovery and expansion is and say yes to it.  Sounds terrifying, right?  Perfect, you’re on the right track.  

Just Do it… afraid. 

Love & Gratitude,
Katie