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In April, I bombed a keynote—45 minutes late, broken A/V, a room that wanted their drink tickets.
Here's what that failure taught me about participation, discernment, and why every Enneagram type has its own sophisticated reason to wait until it's "ready."
What if becoming someone was never the goal? A therapist and Enneagram facilitator on shedding the personas we mistake for our true selves.
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Thoughts on motherhood, breast cancer, and what attachment theory and the Enneagram taught me about being loved
In April, I bombed a keynote—45 minutes late, broken A/V, a room that wanted their drink tickets.
Here's what that failure taught me about participation, discernment, and why every Enneagram type has its own sophisticated reason to wait until it's "ready."
What if becoming someone was never the goal? A therapist and Enneagram facilitator on shedding the personas we mistake for our true selves.
Today you’re in for a treat! I’m bringing my pal Koula Callahan, master yoga instructor and speaker for the Self-Care Workshop, on the blog to share why movement, namely yoga, is incredibly powerful and important for us to practice as we move through our days. If you’ve always wondered what all the fuss is about —and yoga and why is really effective, today is the day—you’re going to get some answers.
Six months before my breast cancer diagnosis, I was quietly falling apart. This is my story and the heart behind why I created the Self Care Workshop.
Discover how each Enneagram type relates to structure—and why the right kind of rhythm can help you thrive. Learn how to create supportive routines without stifling growth.
When we hear the phrase self-care, most of us picture bubble baths, yoga classes, or carving out an hour to finally read that book on our nightstand. And while those things absolutely have their place, if we stop there, we miss the deeper, sustaining work that actually helps us thrive.
What I’ve learned in my own healing and in my work with clients is this: self-care without self-compassion can feel more like another to-do list item when it’s really a relationship to nurture.
There’s a moment, sometimes subtle and sometimes seismic, when you realize you have the chance to begin again. Maybe it’s the first crisp morning after a long summer. Maybe it’s a job change, a new relationship, or even the quiet decision to show up differently in the one you’re already in.
I’ve learned that beginnings—whether chosen or thrust upon us—are vulnerable places. They ask something of us: a willingness to step into what we don’t yet know. And if you’re anything like me, that’s both exciting and a little unnerving.
This is where curiosity comes in.
Are you ready to stop running on empty and start living from a place of wholeness?
Join me, alongside Ally Fallon (best selling author + writing coach) and Koula Callahan (yoga teacher + speaker), for an unforgettable day of enneagram insight, intentional writing, and embodied movement — what I call the trifecta of true self-care.
Somewhere between the smell of freshly sharpened pencils and the first rustle of fall leaves, we’re invited into a familiar rhythm—one that feels both nostalgic and energizing. Whether or not you have a backpack in your life anymore, the back-to-school season has a way of nudging us to recalibrate, recommit, and reset. It’s not just for students. It’s for all of us seeking a deeper sense of alignment and intention.
So, in the spirit of fresh starts and The Back-to-School Edit.
“You can’t stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.”
“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes…including you.”
— Anne Lamott
“The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”
Mitch Albom
“The Enneagram helps you discover who you were before the world told you who you were supposed to be.”
-Ian Cron
“Distractions are everywhere. Notice what takes your attention, acknowledge it, and then let it go.”
-Andy Puddicombe, Founder of Headspace
Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life.
-Anne Lamott
“As long as you keep secrets and suppress information, you are fundamentally at war with yourself…The critical issue is allowing yourself to know what you know. That takes an enormous amount of courage.”
Bessel van der Kolk
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”
-Rumi
“Where we think we need more self-discipline, we usually need more self-love.”
- Tara Mohr
“The human body is a river of intelligence, energy, and information that is constantly renewing itself in every second of our existence.”
- Deepak Chopra
“When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.”
– Winston Churchill
“If we observe ourselves truthfully and non-judgmentally, seeing the mechanisms of our personality in action, we can wake up, and our lives can be a miraculous unfolding of beauty and joy.”
-Richard Rohr
“People will forget what you said, forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
-Maya Angelou
Palate Cleanser: Ready for Connection
Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow.
Carrie Fisher
Holiday Grounding 4.0: Love is Near
Breathe, O breathe Thy loving Spirit, Into every troubled breast!
Let us all in Thee inherit; Let us find that promised rest.
-Charles Wesley, Love Divine.
Anticipation
We’re closing in on Christmas. Whether you celebrate the holidays or not, I imagine you will agree with me here: anticipation is in the air. This anticipation is not just for the gifts and festivities of the season’s climax; this anticipation is for a new year, a fresh start. 2016 has been quite an interesting one to say the least. Whatever your experience is, I want to applaud you for showing up and staying courageous and committed to the process. It’s that feeling of finishing a long book (preferably a hard copy), placing it ever so gingerly on the book shelf next to the host of other old companions you’ve learned from, and then standing back with a deep sigh of prideful relief as you admire your handiwork.
Holiday Grounding 3.0: Generosity of Spirit
I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
Maya Angelou
I never start Christmas shopping until the week (or day) before Christmas. I know, ludicrous. I literally have an emotional and mental block against starting any earlier. Call it procrastination, call it laziness, call it stupid, call it whatever you want— I’m cool with it. I love a hard deadline and have always been drawn to excitement and adventure with a heavy dash of adrenalin. Practical and organized are not typically words people use to describe me, quite the contrary actually. Lead with vulnerability, right? I’m also very cool with that.
Holiday Grounding 2.0: Advent of the Soul
When you get to where you’re going, where will you be?
I ask myself this question often as I easily confuse productivity with busyness. I imagine you fall into a similar trap as well. Consider this, how many times a week do you ask someone how they’re doing and they respond with a slight sigh, eye roll, and an arsenal of reasons there’s just not enough time in the day. “Life is just so busy these days!” they respond. I’m definitely guilty of it too. I tend to wear exhaustion proudly like a badge of honor just so you don’t have any qualms or confusion about my level of productivity, or worth I suppose.
Holiday Grounding 1.0: The Comparison Conundrum
Sometimes I need only to stand wherever I am to be blessed.
-Mary Oliver
I spent Thanksgiving week traveling up the coast of California. It’d been a while since I carved out some space and time from work to rest, refuel, and get inspired. Bustling cities and new scenery are food and drink for my constantly grazing right brain. Beauty feeds my soul and feast I did all the way from the stunning beaches and glamorous people of Malibu to the magical cliffs and redwoods of Big Sur to the charming European-influenced smattering of architecture, shops, and restaurants in Carmel-by-the-sea.
Thoughts on motherhood, breast cancer, and what attachment theory and the Enneagram taught me about being loved