So You Think You Should Talk to Someone? Let's Find the Right Therapist

As we all continue to be bombarded with stressors and general unrest, now more than ever, it’s important to assess how we’re coping individually and realize when it’s time to reach out for professional help in order to properly care for ourselves. 

Between the COVID-19 pandemic and recent protests, it’s easy to see how stress and anxiety can build to extreme levels.  But in order to navigate emotional distress, we can’t simply regurgitate past trauma and dysfunction and ignore the path for a new tomorrow.

I believe one of the greatest tools for working through your past, avoiding burnout, and embracing true transformation is psychotherapy. It is incredibly powerful for anyone seeking a deeper sense of understanding and wholeness.

Good therapists most definitely hold space to unpack the often-brutal stories of our past.  Yes, to write a compelling story with you playing the hero instead of the victim, it’s necessary to unearth expired lies and lay them to rest.  However, good therapists won’t leave you there.  

I’ve been a student of Dr. Joe Dispenza’s work for a while now.  He explores this topic neurologically and absolutely nails it.  Check this out:

“The stronger the emotion that we feel from some external event in our life, the more altered we feel inside of us as a result of that condition outside of us and the more we pay attention to the cause.  The challenge is, every time we think about that trauma, we’re producing the same chemistry in the brain and body as if it was happening again.  What that does is it activates a survival gene.  And when you’re in survival, what you want to do is make sure that that doesn’t happen again. “

When we lock into this type of survival mode, we often forecast worst-case scenarios.  Guess what?  Our brain doesn’t know the difference between the imagined state we create and reality. Therefore, we stay trapped in that old victim mentality and it tends to play out over and over again moving forward. 

Here’s my point: therapy often doesn’t work because we spend so much time talking about our past to the point we are literally reliving it.  Where focus goes, energy flows, therefore creating a habit of attention so strong and involuntary, it becomes nearly impossible to create new life-giving possibilities and successes in our lives.  How could we?  All our energy is being funneled into past emotions of survival long after the immediate threat is gone.  

My approach is different.  I’m convinced if we’re interested in creating lasting change, we need an experience to support us as a whole person, not just a cognitive one, from the neck up.  

Yes, we need a safe space to tell our stories—100%.  Yet we also need an experience of transformation as opposed to a conversation.  I believe this happens through daily practices and community.  

If you’re ready to dive right in, I’d love to support you in finding tangible breakthroughs. I’m also cooking up some resources that will be available this fall and will support your everyday experience.

Drop me a line.  I always love hearing from you.

Love & Gratitude,

Katie 

Ritual - The Secret Sauce for Success

I remember watching the Grammy’s on TV one year.  Gosh, it must have been over a decade ago. I’d always had this magical view of artists who’d “made it” and somehow found themselves on stage at the Staples Center performing at music’s biggest night.  That year, for whatever reason, this delusional veil lifted as I realized these superstars weren’t born overnight—they worked their asses off to get there.  

I think it was an interview I read with John Mayer, who won Best Pop Vocal Album for Continuum that year.  He described basically locking himself up with his guitar for an entire year in order to master the instrument and craft that gave him entry into such grand rooms throughout his impressive career.  

His charge to aspiring musicians was simple: practice and then practice some more. Become so good they can’t ignore you.

As a follow up to last week’s blog post, Why Therapy hasn’t Worked for You, I want to explore the power of ritual, or practice, as a way to tangibly see the desired outcomes you’ve dreamed of for awhile now.  

Just like physical fitness, creative mastery, financial success, and other goals you’ve set your sight on, emotionally thriving takes practice.  We don’t show up to the gym twice a month and expect to see dramatic results.  There are several variables to consider: diet, metabolism, sleep, hydration, mindset, and most of all, consistency.  

So why do we expect to show up to therapy a couple times a month and see transformation take place?  Not to be a buzz kill, but we simply won’t.  If we want results, sure, talking about what’s not working is a good place to start.  Yet we must also start practicing a new way of living in order to experience a new way of being.  

Again, the operative word here being “practice.”  

I like to use the word ritual because it’s prettier and has this spiritual sheen to it.  In many spiritual traditions, rituals are used to create order and accentuate the sacred nature of that which is worshiped.  

Not to get too woo woo, but we are in fact soulful creatures with unique callings to inhabit while here on the planet.  That said, I believe we must treat each day as sacred, intentionally creating structure and reminders around the things that help us thrive.  

The first step in personal transformation is simple: wake up!  We must consciously show up each day in our lives and challenge the sleepy trance of forgetfulness.  After all, we make really bad decisions when we forget the truth of who we are.   

I want to support you as you create rituals in your daily experience that will help you unearth your deepest desires.  However first, you must know where you’re going. 

I’ll leave you with this simple question as a navigation tool: what do you want?  

That’s your ticket, my friend.  The answer to this question determines where you spend your precious time and energy.  It also gives you a prescription for what and how to practice.

So go dream—big and wild.  Give your fear a well-deserved day off.  You can have her back tomorrow.  For now though, sky’s the limit.

Love & Gratitude,

Katie  

Why Therapy Hasn't Worked for You

I hear it all the time. “Yeah, I spent five years in therapy with not much to show for it but a lot less time and money!”

This fires me up.  It also makes me sad for those unwilling to try a different approach.  

I believe psychotherapy is incredibly powerful for anyone wanting a deeper sense of wholeness and belonging. Yet oftentimes it serves more as a regurgitation of past trauma and dysfunction instead of a place to gain tools of empowerment for a new tomorrow.  That said, we tend to learn the wrong skill set in therapy: how to play the victim.  

Good therapists most definitely hold space to unpack the often brutal stories of our past.  In order to write a compelling story with you playing the hero instead of the victim, it’s necessary to unearth expired lies and lay them to rest.  However, good therapists won’t leave you back there.  

I’ve been a student of Dr. Joe Dispenza’s work as of late.  He explores this topic neurologically and absolutely nails it.  Check this out:

“The stronger the emotion that we feel from some external event in our life, the more altered we feel inside of us as a result of that condition outside of us and the more we pay attention to the cause.  The challenge is, every time we think about that trauma, we’re producing the same chemistry in the brain and body as if it was happening again.  What that does is it activates a survival gene.  And when you’re in survival, what you want to do is make sure that that doesn’t happen again. “

When we lock into this type of survival mode, we often forecast worst-case scenarios.  Guess what?  Our brain doesn’t know the difference between the imagined state we create and reality. Therefore we stay trapped in that old victim mentality and it tends to play out over and over again moving forward. 

Here’s my point: therapy often doesn’t work because we spend so much time talking about our past to the point we are literally reliving it.  Where focus goes, energy flows, therefore creating a habit of attention so strong and involuntary, it becomes nearly impossible to create new life-giving possibilities and successes in our lives.  How could we?  All our energy is being funneled into past emotions of survival long after the immediate threat is gone.  

My approach is different.  I’m convinced if we’re interested in creating lasting change, we need an experience to support us as a whole person, not just a cognitive one, from the neck up.  

Yes, we need a safe space to tell our stories—100%.  Yet we also need an experience of transformation as opposed to a conversation.  I believe this happens through daily practices and community, or the group process.  

If this peaks your interest, amazing.  You’re in the right place.  I’ll be bringing you a bit more on the specifics of this over the next few weeks.  

If you’re ready to dive right in, simply hit reply and drop me a line.  I always love hearing from you.

Love & Gratitude,

Katie 

My Gift to You - Perfect Timing

They say timing is everything.  I’ll agree with that.  However, when it comes to deepening self-awareness and overall quality of life, the perfect timing is always now.  I used to think I had to wait for a catastrophic event to explode on the scene in order to garner precious time and energy to “work on me” so to speak.  

What about you?  Do you tend to brush minor hurts, dashed hopes and dreams, and resentments under the rug only to deal with them “when the time is right?” And who’s to say when the time is right or wrong?

Obviously, we do have to compartmentalize painful stuff along the way in order to show up and meet the demands of work, parenting, and other projects we’re invested in.  The problem with waiting for the right time is we often put it off too long which in turn creates further unforeseen problems for ourselves and others.  It’s like driving your car without ever getting an oil change.  Eventually, manageable maintenance issues become harrowing expenses we could’ve easily avoided. 

My point is this: now is the time to invest in you and take back the power in your life.  This doesn’t have to look extreme or exhausting either.  

When we decide to show up for ourselves and work with what we’ve got where we’re at, we not only circumvent larger scale implosions down the road, we put into motion tiny two-degree shifts that over time, create massive upgrades in all areas of our lives. 

When you board a plane in Nashville headed for London, the pilot follows a detailed flight plan that takes into account all sorts of possible interruptions.  While you’re flying, you don't feel many noticeable deviations or sudden turns, unless turbulence becomes an issue.  In fact, if your pilot’s navigation is even one degree off, guess what happens?  You’ll end up in Morocco or something.  (Okay, geography isn’t my strong suit, but you get my point.) I imagine Morocco is magical, yet you bought a ticket to London.  

What I'm getting at is it doesn’t take much of a shift to create the dramatic results you’re looking for over time.  It does, however, require you to make the decision to start now, with what you’ve got.  

What holds you back from this courageous decision?  Don’t laugh at that word choice, either.  Oh, I know you…. 

Why is this courageous?  Because to be willing to look honestly and openly at the peaks and valleys of your story is a highly vulnerable process.  We don’t know what we’ll find.  We can’t predict how we’ll react.  To be vulnerable always requires courage.

And yet there is nothing more vulnerable and uncertain in this life than to love.  

Take the first step today and say yes (with feeling) to the adventure.  I don’t make many promises in my line of work, but I assure you, you certainly won’t be bored.  

Love & Gratitude,

Katie 

Welcome to a New Way: Why Change doesn't have to Hurt

About two years ago, I took a dear friend’s advice and made an appointment with this magical English woman named Linda Penny when I was visiting LA.  I still don’t know her official title, but Linda is most certainly a healer.  She uses all types of modalities such as kinesiology, EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), and Reiki.  I’ve never seen so many oils, bells, and curious gadgets to sort someone out.  Without a doubt, Linda is off the charts intuitive.  

I’d been feeling incredibly stuck at the time and much of it was manifesting in my body.  Every night I’d wake up at around three a.m. with sharp back and neck pain that kept me up until around six when I’d doze back off only to jolt awake in 30 minutes thanks to my alarm.  

The body pain and lack of sleep created a depression cycle I simply couldn’t shake.  I knew the issue was emotional and at the same time felt like I had all the tools to work with.  So I called in the big guns, Linda Penny (whom I affectionately now call Money Penny), being one.  

That 90 minute session left an indelible mark on my life.  She said so many wise things to me that day, yet the one thing that really stuck was this: “You know, Katie, change doesn’t have to be painful and dramatic.  It’s really quite simple.”  

I don’t know if it was her charming British accent or the fact that I’d done so much emotional heavy lifting throughout my life to grow and heal the wounded places, but her words play on repeat when I fall prey to the grip of fear and discouragement.  

When we find ourselves in stuck seasons, we resort to what seems logical—we work harder.  We armor up, think harder, clinch our fist, and full of determination, walk straight into a bigger pile of problems oftentimes affecting our physical health.  

I’ve learned that Money Penny is spot on.  Change doesn’t have to be an exhausting uphill battle.  Rather, it’s more about getting back to the basics.  

Over the next 20 weeks, we will be doing just that here on the blog.  If you want to get emotionally, relationally, or physically unstuck and see lasting change take shape in your life, please join me on this journey.  We’ll start at the root and expand out, exploring your story, where you’ve been, and where you ultimately want to go.  

I’ve got some exciting opportunities for you along the way, so I do hope you’ll join me as we transform the back half of 2019 and unlock desired outcomes you’ve been working towards a long time.  I don’t think it has to be difficult.  I do think we need a new way forward though.  
I’ve got a roadmap…you’ve got the key. 

Let’s go.


Love & Gratitude,
Katie