Why Therapy Hasn't Worked for You
I hear it all the time. “Yeah, I spent five years in therapy with not much to show for it but a lot less time and money!”
This fires me up. It also makes me sad for those unwilling to try a different approach.
I believe psychotherapy is incredibly powerful for anyone wanting a deeper sense of wholeness and belonging. Yet oftentimes it serves more as a regurgitation of past trauma and dysfunction instead of a place to gain tools of empowerment for a new tomorrow. That said, we tend to learn the wrong skill set in therapy: how to play the victim.
Good therapists most definitely hold space to unpack the often brutal stories of our past. In order to write a compelling story with you playing the hero instead of the victim, it’s necessary to unearth expired lies and lay them to rest. However, good therapists won’t leave you back there.
I’ve been a student of Dr. Joe Dispenza’s work as of late. He explores this topic neurologically and absolutely nails it. Check this out:
“The stronger the emotion that we feel from some external event in our life, the more altered we feel inside of us as a result of that condition outside of us and the more we pay attention to the cause. The challenge is, every time we think about that trauma, we’re producing the same chemistry in the brain and body as if it was happening again. What that does is it activates a survival gene. And when you’re in survival, what you want to do is make sure that that doesn’t happen again. “
When we lock into this type of survival mode, we often forecast worst-case scenarios. Guess what? Our brain doesn’t know the difference between the imagined state we create and reality. Therefore we stay trapped in that old victim mentality and it tends to play out over and over again moving forward.
Here’s my point: therapy often doesn’t work because we spend so much time talking about our past to the point we are literally reliving it. Where focus goes, energy flows, therefore creating a habit of attention so strong and involuntary, it becomes nearly impossible to create new life-giving possibilities and successes in our lives. How could we? All our energy is being funneled into past emotions of survival long after the immediate threat is gone.
My approach is different. I’m convinced if we’re interested in creating lasting change, we need an experience to support us as a whole person, not just a cognitive one, from the neck up.
Yes, we need a safe space to tell our stories—100%. Yet we also need an experience of transformation as opposed to a conversation. I believe this happens through daily practices and community, or the group process.
If this peaks your interest, amazing. You’re in the right place. I’ll be bringing you a bit more on the specifics of this over the next few weeks.
If you’re ready to dive right in, simply hit reply and drop me a line. I always love hearing from you.
Love & Gratitude,