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What if becoming someone was never the goal? A therapist and Enneagram facilitator on shedding the personas we mistake for our true selves.
Today you’re in for a treat! I’m bringing my pal Koula Callahan, master yoga instructor and speaker for the Self-Care Workshop, on the blog to share why movement, namely yoga, is incredibly powerful and important for us to practice as we move through our days. If you’ve always wondered what all the fuss is about —and yoga and why is really effective, today is the day—you’re going to get some answers.
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In April, I bombed a keynote—45 minutes late, broken A/V, a room that wanted their drink tickets.
Here's what that failure taught me about participation, discernment, and why every Enneagram type has its own sophisticated reason to wait until it's "ready."
What if becoming someone was never the goal? A therapist and Enneagram facilitator on shedding the personas we mistake for our true selves.
Today you’re in for a treat! I’m bringing my pal Koula Callahan, master yoga instructor and speaker for the Self-Care Workshop, on the blog to share why movement, namely yoga, is incredibly powerful and important for us to practice as we move through our days. If you’ve always wondered what all the fuss is about —and yoga and why is really effective, today is the day—you’re going to get some answers.
Six months before my breast cancer diagnosis, I was quietly falling apart. This is my story and the heart behind why I created the Self Care Workshop.
Discover how each Enneagram type relates to structure—and why the right kind of rhythm can help you thrive. Learn how to create supportive routines without stifling growth.
When we hear the phrase self-care, most of us picture bubble baths, yoga classes, or carving out an hour to finally read that book on our nightstand. And while those things absolutely have their place, if we stop there, we miss the deeper, sustaining work that actually helps us thrive.
What I’ve learned in my own healing and in my work with clients is this: self-care without self-compassion can feel more like another to-do list item when it’s really a relationship to nurture.
There’s a moment, sometimes subtle and sometimes seismic, when you realize you have the chance to begin again. Maybe it’s the first crisp morning after a long summer. Maybe it’s a job change, a new relationship, or even the quiet decision to show up differently in the one you’re already in.
I’ve learned that beginnings—whether chosen or thrust upon us—are vulnerable places. They ask something of us: a willingness to step into what we don’t yet know. And if you’re anything like me, that’s both exciting and a little unnerving.
This is where curiosity comes in.
Are you ready to stop running on empty and start living from a place of wholeness?
Join me, alongside Ally Fallon (best selling author + writing coach) and Koula Callahan (yoga teacher + speaker), for an unforgettable day of enneagram insight, intentional writing, and embodied movement — what I call the trifecta of true self-care.
Somewhere between the smell of freshly sharpened pencils and the first rustle of fall leaves, we’re invited into a familiar rhythm—one that feels both nostalgic and energizing. Whether or not you have a backpack in your life anymore, the back-to-school season has a way of nudging us to recalibrate, recommit, and reset. It’s not just for students. It’s for all of us seeking a deeper sense of alignment and intention.
So, in the spirit of fresh starts and The Back-to-School Edit.
“You can’t stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.”
“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes…including you.”
— Anne Lamott
“The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”
Mitch Albom
“The Enneagram helps you discover who you were before the world told you who you were supposed to be.”
-Ian Cron
“Distractions are everywhere. Notice what takes your attention, acknowledge it, and then let it go.”
-Andy Puddicombe, Founder of Headspace
Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life.
-Anne Lamott
“As long as you keep secrets and suppress information, you are fundamentally at war with yourself…The critical issue is allowing yourself to know what you know. That takes an enormous amount of courage.”
Bessel van der Kolk
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”
-Rumi
“Where we think we need more self-discipline, we usually need more self-love.”
- Tara Mohr
“The human body is a river of intelligence, energy, and information that is constantly renewing itself in every second of our existence.”
- Deepak Chopra
“When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.”
– Winston Churchill
“If we observe ourselves truthfully and non-judgmentally, seeing the mechanisms of our personality in action, we can wake up, and our lives can be a miraculous unfolding of beauty and joy.”
-Richard Rohr
“People will forget what you said, forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
-Maya Angelou
Bossa Nova, the Beatles, and the Problem with Perfection
“Do you have the courage to bring forth the treasures that are hidden within you?”
-Elizabeth Gilbert
I was driving the other day. For some reason, I couldn’t get the bluetooth on my phone to connect with the car’s sound system, so I found myself listening to the Beatles station on XM radio. I’ve been in a podcast haze for the last several months, and despite my affinity for them, was needing a bit of melody in my heart and body to balance out all that heightened cognitive consumption.
I didn’t grow up on the Beatles mind you. Sure, both my parents were musicians, yet they didn’t really grow up on the Beatles either. It wasn’t their thing. They (and as a result, I) grew up on jazz, namely, the Bossa Nova brand. I’m not mad about it either.
My Beatles education comes from my husband. As a drummer, producer, and the biggest music nerd I’ve ever met, he’s constantly schooling me about the legendary imprint those fab four left on the world. I’m grateful for this and always trying to listen for another layer of genius each time I hear one of their songs.
Back to the other day...I had one of those “aha” moments in the car on my way back from Target. You ready for this?
We absolutely can’t entertain the creative process and perfectionism in the same room, let alone breathe. They are distinct enemies and hate each other’s guts.
Why? Creativity is messy and takes loads of courage and curiosity. Perfectionism depends on control and reeks of fear. Creativity requires letting go in order to trust a higher, more vulnerable process. Perfectionism is an excuse we give ourselves as to why we stay stuck in the need for certainty. Really, it’s just a scared man’s game. There’s nothing virtuous or noble about perfectionism. It’s a total sham.
If you listen back to some of Bossa Nova’s most magical moments, you’ll undoubtedly find two central characters, Astrud Gilberto & Antonio Carlos Jobim (well three…Stan Getz). You know what you will not find? Autotune, a thing they use in modern music production that can take your tone deaf 82-year-old grandmother and make her sound like Brandi Carlisle. It’s like photoshopping a recording.
Guess what? There was no photoshopping the Beatle’s either. Despite their masterful, tight sound, what makes it so good and authentic is the quirky, jangly, and quintessential English flavor we know and love. It’s all them. As I listened to In My Life, a total favorite, I was reminded of the simple wizardry hidden all throughout. Likewise with Corcovado, a classic Getz/Gilberto tune. Both, in my estimation, are iconic complete with endearing pitchiness, that yummy analog warmth, and an energy that’s palpable—breathable.
Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly. I’ve clung tightly to this mantra for years. If you are waiting to write the perfect book, give a pristine presentation, release a musical masterpiece, or develop the fanciest website for your business before you ever put yourself out there, you’ve already missed a great opportunity. It’s the opportunity to find your voice and begin using it despite the nervous, wobbly first couple hundred efforts. Also, it’s the opportunity to be known.
It’s true. You and I may never make jazz or rock n’ roll history. However, as human beings born to create (and yes, you are highly creative no matter what you think), we have a responsibility to live courageously in the direction of our dreams. It’s what separates us from animals—this ability to make up stories and all sorts of other stuff. It gives us meaning. It gives us purpose. Purpose, after all, is the opposite of depression, not happiness like we tend to assume.
The world doesn’t want your perfection, it wants you. Ask yourself what it is you would do, create, or be today if fear was not an option. What’s that treasure hidden deep inside you?
Got it? Go write it down. Every detail you can muster. You know what? You’re already one step closer. I dare you to take one more. Go fall flat on your face and get back up. Take another. That’s called courage. And that, my friend, is more than perfect…it’s everything.
Love & Gratitude,
Katie
In April, I bombed a keynote—45 minutes late, broken A/V, a room that wanted their drink tickets.
Here's what that failure taught me about participation, discernment, and why every Enneagram type has its own sophisticated reason to wait until it's "ready."