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What if becoming someone was never the goal? A therapist and Enneagram facilitator on shedding the personas we mistake for our true selves.
Today you’re in for a treat! I’m bringing my pal Koula Callahan, master yoga instructor and speaker for the Self-Care Workshop, on the blog to share why movement, namely yoga, is incredibly powerful and important for us to practice as we move through our days. If you’ve always wondered what all the fuss is about —and yoga and why is really effective, today is the day—you’re going to get some answers.
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In April, I bombed a keynote—45 minutes late, broken A/V, a room that wanted their drink tickets.
Here's what that failure taught me about participation, discernment, and why every Enneagram type has its own sophisticated reason to wait until it's "ready."
What if becoming someone was never the goal? A therapist and Enneagram facilitator on shedding the personas we mistake for our true selves.
Today you’re in for a treat! I’m bringing my pal Koula Callahan, master yoga instructor and speaker for the Self-Care Workshop, on the blog to share why movement, namely yoga, is incredibly powerful and important for us to practice as we move through our days. If you’ve always wondered what all the fuss is about —and yoga and why is really effective, today is the day—you’re going to get some answers.
Six months before my breast cancer diagnosis, I was quietly falling apart. This is my story and the heart behind why I created the Self Care Workshop.
Discover how each Enneagram type relates to structure—and why the right kind of rhythm can help you thrive. Learn how to create supportive routines without stifling growth.
When we hear the phrase self-care, most of us picture bubble baths, yoga classes, or carving out an hour to finally read that book on our nightstand. And while those things absolutely have their place, if we stop there, we miss the deeper, sustaining work that actually helps us thrive.
What I’ve learned in my own healing and in my work with clients is this: self-care without self-compassion can feel more like another to-do list item when it’s really a relationship to nurture.
There’s a moment, sometimes subtle and sometimes seismic, when you realize you have the chance to begin again. Maybe it’s the first crisp morning after a long summer. Maybe it’s a job change, a new relationship, or even the quiet decision to show up differently in the one you’re already in.
I’ve learned that beginnings—whether chosen or thrust upon us—are vulnerable places. They ask something of us: a willingness to step into what we don’t yet know. And if you’re anything like me, that’s both exciting and a little unnerving.
This is where curiosity comes in.
Are you ready to stop running on empty and start living from a place of wholeness?
Join me, alongside Ally Fallon (best selling author + writing coach) and Koula Callahan (yoga teacher + speaker), for an unforgettable day of enneagram insight, intentional writing, and embodied movement — what I call the trifecta of true self-care.
Somewhere between the smell of freshly sharpened pencils and the first rustle of fall leaves, we’re invited into a familiar rhythm—one that feels both nostalgic and energizing. Whether or not you have a backpack in your life anymore, the back-to-school season has a way of nudging us to recalibrate, recommit, and reset. It’s not just for students. It’s for all of us seeking a deeper sense of alignment and intention.
So, in the spirit of fresh starts and The Back-to-School Edit.
“You can’t stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.”
“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes…including you.”
— Anne Lamott
“The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”
Mitch Albom
“The Enneagram helps you discover who you were before the world told you who you were supposed to be.”
-Ian Cron
“Distractions are everywhere. Notice what takes your attention, acknowledge it, and then let it go.”
-Andy Puddicombe, Founder of Headspace
Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life.
-Anne Lamott
“As long as you keep secrets and suppress information, you are fundamentally at war with yourself…The critical issue is allowing yourself to know what you know. That takes an enormous amount of courage.”
Bessel van der Kolk
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”
-Rumi
“Where we think we need more self-discipline, we usually need more self-love.”
- Tara Mohr
“The human body is a river of intelligence, energy, and information that is constantly renewing itself in every second of our existence.”
- Deepak Chopra
“When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.”
– Winston Churchill
“If we observe ourselves truthfully and non-judgmentally, seeing the mechanisms of our personality in action, we can wake up, and our lives can be a miraculous unfolding of beauty and joy.”
-Richard Rohr
“People will forget what you said, forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
-Maya Angelou
Why You Keep Overcommitting
“Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.”
- Catherine of Siena
I used to be a lot sweeter. I used to say yes most of the time. I used to jam pack my days into nights with everything from coffee/lunch meetings to work (obvi) to school to long phone conversations with friends in need to shows and dinners and…you get it—contained chaos.
I worked so hard, yet simultaneously complained about feeling overwhelmed with little to show for it. “What gives?” I’d wonder this to myself more days than not.
Around age 34, I woke up to a cold, hard realization. It wasn’t pretty either. I realized I was overcommitting to others out of fear and obligation and in the process, underserving myself. I was playing small in my life due to one of two possible self-diagnoses (or probably both):
1) FOMO (fear of missing out)
2) FOBA (fear of being alone)
Basically, fear and scarcity were running the show, which is really about self-worth, not time-management.
I would drop everything to help others actualize their dreams, but when it came to pushing mine forward, I was the one missing in action. I’d rather procrastinate the deep work of creating my vision in order to pick up the pieces for others around me. It was an immediate, (if not false) hit of belonging straight to the old ego.
I also found I wasn’t as sweet as I’d been letting on. Behind the saccharine-laced veil, I was cynical and resentful, constantly comparing myself to others and critical of my inability to make something happen.
So, I started making some changes. I got more honest…less sweet. I started taking forensic inventory as to what I wanted and shifted my priorities around to facilitate those things. You know what I wanted? To be seen, heard, and to affect change in the world. Baby step after baby step, I started waking up to these desires—and honoring them. After all, no one else could ever do this for me. Sure, I could put support in place, but I had to do the work. And this “work" actually smelled like joy.
Bumpy at best, I’m still on the journey, yet I’ve found greater congruence and confidence in this new way. I’ve also found tons more time to appropriate to the meaningful relationships that matter most to me.
Oh, but there’s something else you should know. A reckoning of sorts took place. That hit I mentioned earlier? Well, at the core of all my “overwhelm” that kept me spinning out of control was a gaping hole I was desperately trying to fill: my needs for love, acceptance, and belonging.
I woke up to the unflattering reality that I was spread so thin in an effort to get these core needs met, and in the process, abandoned myself and my desires altogether leaving a bad aftertaste of resentment and utter discouragement.
If you find yourself constantly overcommitting and overwhelmed, I’ve got good news for you: You can step off the treadmill at any time. You can choose something different—something resonant and true for you. But, in order to see your dreams become reality, you must be willing to let go of some extra baggage:
1) The belief that other people need you more than you need you
2) Saying yes to too many social obligations to be nice and fit in
3) Staying busy to avoid your needs and desires
4) Toxic relationships that breed self-doubt
5) Any reason that convinces you you don’t have what it takes (aka fear)
6) Comparison with others (Is all that screen time really necessary?)
7) Playing the victim when setbacks arise (and they will)
My hunch is, you want to be seen too. I sure hope so—it's your birthright! You weren’t created to hide behind the agendas of other people. You weren’t created to be nice. You weren’t even created to be liked. Let’s face it, you’re not for everyone. You were created to be the most beautiful, bold, and true YOU imaginable. Oh, she’s in there, alright. And she’s a force of nature. Yes, we need to see her.…
Love & Gratitude,
Katie
In April, I bombed a keynote—45 minutes late, broken A/V, a room that wanted their drink tickets.
Here's what that failure taught me about participation, discernment, and why every Enneagram type has its own sophisticated reason to wait until it's "ready."