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What if becoming someone was never the goal? A therapist and Enneagram facilitator on shedding the personas we mistake for our true selves.
Today you’re in for a treat! I’m bringing my pal Koula Callahan, master yoga instructor and speaker for the Self-Care Workshop, on the blog to share why movement, namely yoga, is incredibly powerful and important for us to practice as we move through our days. If you’ve always wondered what all the fuss is about —and yoga and why is really effective, today is the day—you’re going to get some answers.
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In April, I bombed a keynote—45 minutes late, broken A/V, a room that wanted their drink tickets.
Here's what that failure taught me about participation, discernment, and why every Enneagram type has its own sophisticated reason to wait until it's "ready."
What if becoming someone was never the goal? A therapist and Enneagram facilitator on shedding the personas we mistake for our true selves.
Today you’re in for a treat! I’m bringing my pal Koula Callahan, master yoga instructor and speaker for the Self-Care Workshop, on the blog to share why movement, namely yoga, is incredibly powerful and important for us to practice as we move through our days. If you’ve always wondered what all the fuss is about —and yoga and why is really effective, today is the day—you’re going to get some answers.
Six months before my breast cancer diagnosis, I was quietly falling apart. This is my story and the heart behind why I created the Self Care Workshop.
Discover how each Enneagram type relates to structure—and why the right kind of rhythm can help you thrive. Learn how to create supportive routines without stifling growth.
When we hear the phrase self-care, most of us picture bubble baths, yoga classes, or carving out an hour to finally read that book on our nightstand. And while those things absolutely have their place, if we stop there, we miss the deeper, sustaining work that actually helps us thrive.
What I’ve learned in my own healing and in my work with clients is this: self-care without self-compassion can feel more like another to-do list item when it’s really a relationship to nurture.
There’s a moment, sometimes subtle and sometimes seismic, when you realize you have the chance to begin again. Maybe it’s the first crisp morning after a long summer. Maybe it’s a job change, a new relationship, or even the quiet decision to show up differently in the one you’re already in.
I’ve learned that beginnings—whether chosen or thrust upon us—are vulnerable places. They ask something of us: a willingness to step into what we don’t yet know. And if you’re anything like me, that’s both exciting and a little unnerving.
This is where curiosity comes in.
Are you ready to stop running on empty and start living from a place of wholeness?
Join me, alongside Ally Fallon (best selling author + writing coach) and Koula Callahan (yoga teacher + speaker), for an unforgettable day of enneagram insight, intentional writing, and embodied movement — what I call the trifecta of true self-care.
Somewhere between the smell of freshly sharpened pencils and the first rustle of fall leaves, we’re invited into a familiar rhythm—one that feels both nostalgic and energizing. Whether or not you have a backpack in your life anymore, the back-to-school season has a way of nudging us to recalibrate, recommit, and reset. It’s not just for students. It’s for all of us seeking a deeper sense of alignment and intention.
So, in the spirit of fresh starts and The Back-to-School Edit.
“You can’t stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.”
“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes…including you.”
— Anne Lamott
“The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”
Mitch Albom
“The Enneagram helps you discover who you were before the world told you who you were supposed to be.”
-Ian Cron
“Distractions are everywhere. Notice what takes your attention, acknowledge it, and then let it go.”
-Andy Puddicombe, Founder of Headspace
Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life.
-Anne Lamott
“As long as you keep secrets and suppress information, you are fundamentally at war with yourself…The critical issue is allowing yourself to know what you know. That takes an enormous amount of courage.”
Bessel van der Kolk
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”
-Rumi
“Where we think we need more self-discipline, we usually need more self-love.”
- Tara Mohr
“The human body is a river of intelligence, energy, and information that is constantly renewing itself in every second of our existence.”
- Deepak Chopra
“When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.”
– Winston Churchill
“If we observe ourselves truthfully and non-judgmentally, seeing the mechanisms of our personality in action, we can wake up, and our lives can be a miraculous unfolding of beauty and joy.”
-Richard Rohr
“People will forget what you said, forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
-Maya Angelou
When all else fails, try this.
Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final.
-Rainer Maria Rilke
Have you ever experienced days when no matter how hard you try, or how many tools you have in your proverbial emotional toolkit, or how much you know in that clever thinking mind of yours, you just want to stay curled up in the fetal position in a dark corner of some hidden room and simply cry?
You’re inconsolable.
The feelings of despair and powerlessness take on tsunami strength leaving you weak, weary, and barely breathing.
I had one of those days recently. It was awful.
My dominant Enneagram type is four, the Individualist. We’re known to have a pretty vibrant (read: intense bordering on dramatic) interior emotional landscape. We’re also known to access the spectrum of that intensity at the drop of a hat. That being said, I’ve been known to indulge my emotions, feasting on them like a marathon runner carb-loading before race day.
Despite your Enneagram type, the goal is to grow in self-awareness with regards to those limiting adaptive personality programs (like my aforementioned emotionalism) that run the show and keep us stuck in our type structure so that we can evolve past these behaviors and fully thrive.
In Enneagram circles, (or basically every coffee shop in Nashville), we hear the phrase, “become your true self” tossed around quite a bit. I love this idea. Enneagram fours are also known to have this mad concept crush on authenticity, depth, and meaning. So the idea of “becoming your true self” is truly intoxicating.
Back to that awful day. (And I’m going to land this plane quickly. Too many words will throw us off course here.)
What if, in the truest, deepest part of you, there’s this growling need to simply surrender to the primal force of what you’re feeling? To be “all in” so to speak? To not try and fix, figure it out, numb, or run like hell?
What if, in order to fully and consciously show up each day, we hold a margin of space for the brokenness inside to be just that…broken? Our feelings will not kill us. They may feel impossible at times, but like a storm at sea, they eventually calm.
After all, on this journey of growth and integration, change is inevitable. With every change, “good” and “bad,” we incur a loss. Loss must be grieved. Period. It must be acknowledged, felt, and witnessed by someone safe. Eventually, we’re able to release it and receive something new.
Rilke said, “no feeling is final.” Yet to be human is to feel.
Emotion is the language of the heart and body and to live in silence is to ultimately die.
And so, Dear One, know that when all else fails and the bleakness of winter doesn’t show visible signs of spring, cling to this truth from Julian of Norwich,
“All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.”
Speak this out when nothing else makes sense. Hold it close, even if you don’t believe it. I’ve been in that space, clung to those words, and can believe it for you.
The darkest night sets the stage for a breaking dawn. Even the longest winter must give way to the rights of spring.
Your birthright is to Bloom.
Love & Gratitude,
Katie
In April, I bombed a keynote—45 minutes late, broken A/V, a room that wanted their drink tickets.
Here's what that failure taught me about participation, discernment, and why every Enneagram type has its own sophisticated reason to wait until it's "ready."