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Your Enneagram Classroom Awaits You
“Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn.”
-Benjamin Franklin
This year has been integral for me in so many ways. I won my battle with breast cancer and started a new business called The Practice. Neither were by any means easy but I’m so proud of both. It’s no coincidence that the year I faced the most daunting physical and emotional challenge, I launched my self-care passion project. As I shared in last week’s blog, I’m 100% certain that my cancer journey was victorious due to years of my own self-care and a multitude of prayers. I learned first hand, attitude is, indeed, everything.
As we cross this 2022 threshold, I’m so thrilled to bring you a deeper dive into both self-care and the Enneagram. I’ve got several opportunities for you to experience both! Over the course of the year, the founding members of the Practice gave us some vital feedback—more Enneagram content!!! So that’s what you’ll get. The monthly subscription will give all the goods of the original program: daily journal prompts, yoga flows, guided meditations, expert interviews, and monthly support sessions PLUS core enneagram content each month. We will explore concepts like growth paths, subtypes, wings, relationship styles, and more!
To love yourself is to first know yourself—to really understand the why behind how you think, feel, and act. The Enneagram is the best tool we have for self-understanding and development. Further understanding how to take care of you in all your glorious uniqueness is exactly what we’ll do!
I’ll also be offering two exciting in-person opportunities to build your Enneagram toolkit. Starting in February, I’m partnering with Nashville City Club to offer a monthly Enneagram Mastermind Group. It’s a great opportunity to meet other professionals in the area and learn how to apply the Enneagram in your work and life.
Lastly, Bloom groups are back! Bloom group is an enneagram-focused therapy group for women. For anyone who wants a more affordable therapy option, groups are a wonderful option. It offers a safe place to process the ups and downs of life and connect to other like-minded women. It’s also an amazing way to use the Enneagram for healing and transformation.
I’ve been studying and using this powerful tool for 15 years now and I can honestly say it has illuminated life and relationships in remarkable ways. No matter where you are on your Enneagram journey, I believe you can find a place to go deeper with me in 2022! I hope you’ll join…
When all else fails, try this.
Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final.
-Rainer Maria Rilke
Have you ever experienced days when no matter how hard you try, or how many tools you have in your proverbial emotional toolkit, or how much you know in that clever thinking mind of yours, you just want to stay curled up in the fetal position in a dark corner of some hidden room and simply cry?
You’re inconsolable.
The feelings of despair and powerlessness take on tsunami strength leaving you weak, weary, and barely breathing.
I had one of those days recently. It was awful.
My dominant Enneagram type is four, the Individualist. We’re known to have a pretty vibrant (read: intense bordering on dramatic) interior emotional landscape. We’re also known to access the spectrum of that intensity at the drop of a hat. That being said, I’ve been known to indulge my emotions, feasting on them like a marathon runner carb-loading before race day.
Despite your Enneagram type, the goal is to grow in self-awareness with regards to those limiting adaptive personality programs (like my aforementioned emotionalism) that run the show and keep us stuck in our type structure so that we can evolve past these behaviors and fully thrive.
In Enneagram circles, (or basically every coffee shop in Nashville), we hear the phrase, “become your true self” tossed around quite a bit. I love this idea. Enneagram fours are also known to have this mad concept crush on authenticity, depth, and meaning. So the idea of “becoming your true self” is truly intoxicating.
Back to that awful day. (And I’m going to land this plane quickly. Too many words will throw us off course here.)
What if, in the truest, deepest part of you, there’s this growling need to simply surrender to the primal force of what you’re feeling? To be “all in” so to speak? To not try and fix, figure it out, numb, or run like hell?
What if, in order to fully and consciously show up each day, we hold a margin of space for the brokenness inside to be just that…broken? Our feelings will not kill us. They may feel impossible at times, but like a storm at sea, they eventually calm.
After all, on this journey of growth and integration, change is inevitable. With every change, “good” and “bad,” we incur a loss. Loss must be grieved. Period. It must be acknowledged, felt, and witnessed by someone safe. Eventually, we’re able to release it and receive something new.
Rilke said, “no feeling is final.” Yet to be human is to feel.
Emotion is the language of the heart and body and to live in silence is to ultimately die.
And so, Dear One, know that when all else fails and the bleakness of winter doesn’t show visible signs of spring, cling to this truth from Julian of Norwich,
“All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.”
Speak this out when nothing else makes sense. Hold it close, even if you don’t believe it. I’ve been in that space, clung to those words, and can believe it for you.
The darkest night sets the stage for a breaking dawn. Even the longest winter must give way to the rights of spring.
Your birthright is to Bloom.
Love & Gratitude,
Katie
The Moment We've Been Waiting For...
“Courage starts by showing up and letting ourselves be seen.”
Brene Brown
Do you spend most of your days living from the neck up? You know, all cozy and comfy in the confines of that overworked thinking-mind of yours? If you answered yes, you’re not alone my friend. In fact, from what I’ve learned as a therapist and recovering everything, I’m convinced the top two challenges we face today are anxiety and loneliness.
Anxiety is an epidemic in our current cultural overdrive of striving and control. It takes one to know one, so you should know I’ve got some certifiable experience in this illusory realm. Not only that, but I’ve experienced tremendous healing through what I believe to be the answer to this cry for help.
I’ve been studying brain science a lot lately. I’m far from expert, but at the turtle pace I’ve been going in this general direction, I know enough to scratch the surface of the powerful mind-body connection I’ve come to live (and literally breathe) by.
I’m learning one of the most detrimental side effects of stress and anxiety on the brain and body is literal disease (dis-ease), eventually leading to numbing strategies, isolation, and loneliness. There’s that big “L” word.
What I’m also learning is one of the key remedies for a stressed out world is not a pill or even an hour of therapy, though this can be helpful.
You know what it is? Community.
Dr. Mark Hyman, Medical Director at the Cleveland Clinic’s Center for Functional Medicine and #1 New York Times Bestselling Author says, “The power of community to create health is far greater than any physician, clinic or hospital.” I’d go on to add psychotherapist to his list.
I wholeheartedly believe in individual therapy. It’s been a lifeline for me at times along the way. However, I’m convinced we need more. We simply must experience the power of healing in the context of community.
For this reason, my approach to therapy is three-pronged: Individual therapy supported by both group therapy and an ongoing daily regimen prescribed specifically to meet your unique needs. Conscious self-awareness glues it all together.
In light of this, I’m thrilled to invite you deeper into this transformational work. Over the past several years, I’ve been designing a 6-month experiential group that will launch in March! This design is built on my own group work and training at Onsite Workshops, The Narrative Enneagram, personal research and feedback from clients throughout the last decade-plus.
If you’re in Nashville and looking for a different approach to therapy, a break from individual therapy, or a supportive cushion for the successful work you’re already doing, Bloom Groups are for you.
On Thursday, March 14th at 6:30pm, I’ll be hosting a Bloom Group kick-off at the stunning White Avenue Studio for anyone interested in learning more about this opportunity. You'll get a taste of what you can expect in group by exploring the power of community, experiential therapy, and the mind-body-spirit connection. (There may even be yoga and delicious treats involved.)
You’ll meet others, like yourself, who are committed to this journey of self-exploration and transformation.
I’m beyond excited to go deeper into your story this year as well as offer a safe, fun space to thrive and truly be seen and known.
Click HERE to learn more about and sign up for The Bloom Groups Kick-off.
Love & Gratitude,
Katie
How to Beat the Winter Blues
“These useless days will add up to something. They are your becoming.
- Cheryl Strayed
It’s a broken record at the moment. I can almost expect it both in conversations with friends and clients every single day. Chances are, if you’re living in Nashville, you’ve thought it or said it out loud yourself. I’m guilty as well.
Drumroll, please?
“This weather is KILLING me!”
Sure, it’s January. What else should I expect but cold grey stretches that make me want to hole up, listen to Bon Iver circa 2008, drink excessive amounts of coffee, and write for hours in my journal?
There’s good reason for this. The weather directly affects how we feel physically and emotionally and can wreak havoc on our overall experience in fall and winter months.
I used to experience heightened levels of anxiety and depression every year when clocks fell back and the sun quit her day job at 4:30pm. My motivation went on strike, healthy habits skipped town, and the feeling of loneliness was pervasive.
Finally, I got desperate enough and took matters into my own hands. I began advocating for my mental health because I knew no one else would. Through personal research, therapy, and challenging my normal behavior each year, I landed on some powerful tools that supported a more hopeful experience when the winter blues started creeping in.
For starters, Seasonal depression is slang for Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD…aptly). It’s not simply “depression light.” It’s a subtype or specific kind of major depression that is symptomatic with the changing seasons, especially in fall and winter.
There are obvious and not so obvious reasons for SAD. The ones we all agree on are simple though: with less exposure to sunlight during the fall and winter months, our biological clock can often get pummeled, leaving depleted levels of serotonin, a brain chemical that helps govern and boost our mood, and melatonin, that gorgeous stuff of sleep.
If you experience a noticeable shift in mood, physical activity, patience for people, energy level, sleep, and desire to participate, keep reading. Likewise, if you are a human being with a heartbeat, keep reading. I have a hunch someone in your life needs your grace and support because they suffer from SAD.
Here are 4 helpful tips I swear by:
1) Routine
Structure is the sensitive soul’s best friend. For me, this means intentionally planning out my days from week to week. In fall and winter months, it’s starting a bit earlier so I can enjoy more sunlight, even just 30 minutes.
When emotions whip us around, assuming their throne in the driver's seat of life, it can be so easy to slip into victim mentality, feeling powerless. Having a set structure, or routine, for our day helps us reclaim the steering wheel.
My morning ritual is everything to me. It allows me time and space to practice the things that ground me like meditation, writing, and reading. In the coming days and months, experiment by putting some new structures into place to facilitate a more ordered interior landscape.
2) Move
Daily Exercise has officially become my antidepressant of choice. Hear me out, antidepressants can be a very helpful piece of the emotional puzzle when necessary. They definitely have for me along the way. However, exercise is one of the most effective and proven ways to improve overall mood and stress levels. Getting a good sweat also helps us sleep more soundly.
It’s tempting to let workouts trail off, but I say we fight for them. Make it a daily routine if possible, like brushing your teeth. This isn’t about rigidity, it’s about shifting our norms to facilitate more energy and vitality. Plus, there are tons of streaming workouts online when we simply don’t want to leave the house. My personal favorite is Tracy Anderson’s Online Studio, a subscription-based method, and Yoga With Adrien, which is a free YouTube channel.
3) Avoid Numbing
I get it. When depression sneaks in, we often lose our desire for the things we typically love to do. We want to isolate, sleep, eat, drink, numb. It’s so much easier, right?
Numbing out may offer temporary relief for our pain, however, we forget that along with the negative feeling emotions, your numbing strategy of choice dulls the positive ones as well. Happiness, excitement, and gratitude are harder to come by and we get thrown right back into the tangled thicket of depression once again.
4) Support
Replace the numbing with support. Identify “safe people” who know and accept you where you are. Make a list of two or three and reach out to them to let them know you’re struggling.
If you don’t have said 2-3 people, a good place to start is therapy. While I’m a big believer in individual therapy, finding a group therapy opportunity may be even more effective. I offer several options and would love to support you in this season. There is absolutely no shame in seeking professional help. It is a courageous act of self-compassion.
Hang in there, friend. Each day we inch toward one more minute of sunlight. After all, spring is simply the payoff for all the deep soul work done during winter. As Cheryl Strayed says, “The useless days will add up to something. These things are your becoming.”
Love & Gratitude,
Katie