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What if becoming someone was never the goal? A therapist and Enneagram facilitator on shedding the personas we mistake for our true selves.
Today you’re in for a treat! I’m bringing my pal Koula Callahan, master yoga instructor and speaker for the Self-Care Workshop, on the blog to share why movement, namely yoga, is incredibly powerful and important for us to practice as we move through our days. If you’ve always wondered what all the fuss is about —and yoga and why is really effective, today is the day—you’re going to get some answers.
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In April, I bombed a keynote—45 minutes late, broken A/V, a room that wanted their drink tickets.
Here's what that failure taught me about participation, discernment, and why every Enneagram type has its own sophisticated reason to wait until it's "ready."
What if becoming someone was never the goal? A therapist and Enneagram facilitator on shedding the personas we mistake for our true selves.
Today you’re in for a treat! I’m bringing my pal Koula Callahan, master yoga instructor and speaker for the Self-Care Workshop, on the blog to share why movement, namely yoga, is incredibly powerful and important for us to practice as we move through our days. If you’ve always wondered what all the fuss is about —and yoga and why is really effective, today is the day—you’re going to get some answers.
Six months before my breast cancer diagnosis, I was quietly falling apart. This is my story and the heart behind why I created the Self Care Workshop.
Discover how each Enneagram type relates to structure—and why the right kind of rhythm can help you thrive. Learn how to create supportive routines without stifling growth.
When we hear the phrase self-care, most of us picture bubble baths, yoga classes, or carving out an hour to finally read that book on our nightstand. And while those things absolutely have their place, if we stop there, we miss the deeper, sustaining work that actually helps us thrive.
What I’ve learned in my own healing and in my work with clients is this: self-care without self-compassion can feel more like another to-do list item when it’s really a relationship to nurture.
There’s a moment, sometimes subtle and sometimes seismic, when you realize you have the chance to begin again. Maybe it’s the first crisp morning after a long summer. Maybe it’s a job change, a new relationship, or even the quiet decision to show up differently in the one you’re already in.
I’ve learned that beginnings—whether chosen or thrust upon us—are vulnerable places. They ask something of us: a willingness to step into what we don’t yet know. And if you’re anything like me, that’s both exciting and a little unnerving.
This is where curiosity comes in.
Are you ready to stop running on empty and start living from a place of wholeness?
Join me, alongside Ally Fallon (best selling author + writing coach) and Koula Callahan (yoga teacher + speaker), for an unforgettable day of enneagram insight, intentional writing, and embodied movement — what I call the trifecta of true self-care.
Somewhere between the smell of freshly sharpened pencils and the first rustle of fall leaves, we’re invited into a familiar rhythm—one that feels both nostalgic and energizing. Whether or not you have a backpack in your life anymore, the back-to-school season has a way of nudging us to recalibrate, recommit, and reset. It’s not just for students. It’s for all of us seeking a deeper sense of alignment and intention.
So, in the spirit of fresh starts and The Back-to-School Edit.
“You can’t stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.”
“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes…including you.”
— Anne Lamott
“The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.”
Mitch Albom
“The Enneagram helps you discover who you were before the world told you who you were supposed to be.”
-Ian Cron
“Distractions are everywhere. Notice what takes your attention, acknowledge it, and then let it go.”
-Andy Puddicombe, Founder of Headspace
Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life.
-Anne Lamott
“As long as you keep secrets and suppress information, you are fundamentally at war with yourself…The critical issue is allowing yourself to know what you know. That takes an enormous amount of courage.”
Bessel van der Kolk
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”
-Rumi
“Where we think we need more self-discipline, we usually need more self-love.”
- Tara Mohr
“The human body is a river of intelligence, energy, and information that is constantly renewing itself in every second of our existence.”
- Deepak Chopra
“When I look back on all these worries, I remember the story of the old man who said on his deathbed that he had had a lot of trouble in his life, most of which had never happened.”
– Winston Churchill
“If we observe ourselves truthfully and non-judgmentally, seeing the mechanisms of our personality in action, we can wake up, and our lives can be a miraculous unfolding of beauty and joy.”
-Richard Rohr
“People will forget what you said, forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
-Maya Angelou
Can I get a Witness? (How to get out of your own way)
“Between the stimulus and the response there is a space. In that space, there lies your freedom and power.”
- Victor Frankl
Have you ever felt like you’re your own worst enemy? If you could only get out of your own way, life might be a lot easier?
Me too. I often feel I wrote the book on self-sabotage.
I’ll never forget sitting in my old therapists office about eight years ago and hearing the strangest homework assignment I’d ever gotten to date. Here’s what he said,
“Katie, I want you to spend the whole week simply being a student of you and your experience.”
“Excuse me?” I thought to myself as I quizzically stared back at him like he had eight heads. This would be interesting…
This seemed nearly impossible at the time because I’d become so accustomed to ruthlessly judging myself without even noticing. To merely “observe” or “witness” my daily experience would require me to slow down that automatic self-criticism. It would require me to be a neutral audience. This in turn, would require me to be a bit…kind?
It was perhaps the most profound assignment I’d ever been given. I felt as if a heavy weight had been lifted from my weary frame. I remember feeling curious, even intrigued by myself and my behaviors. Miraculously, I’ve never done drugs before, but this little experiment felt as close as I’d gotten up until that point. It was out-of-body.
Part of my lifelong work has been learning to grow that neutral observer, or inner witness, inside that allows for self-awareness and compassion to take root and grow over time. The more curious we can get about anything, the less time we spend in rigid judgment. As a result, we move from a fixed mindset to a growth one. Otherwise, we live in reaction mode, constantly being triggered and judging ourselves and others. Not a good look.
Here’s two things I’ve learned about human nature:
99.999999% of us have a pretty nasty inner critic at some point along the way. Human beings, by nature, have a negative bias. As the saying goes, “we are our own worst critic.”
It’s much easier to react out of emotion than respond out of self-awareness.
I also believe you are your absolute greatest asset in this life. However, in order to be MVP on your own team, you may need to clean out the dank and dusty attic of your thoughts, like I constantly do.
I’d like to support you in this truly life-giving process. Consider this first step the warm-up of our spring training. Here’s how we’ll get the blood pumping:
Assume the role of a neutral observer, a student if you will. Pretend you’re doing research for a project and any and every bit of information is fair game. It’s okay if you bounce back into the judgment seat. That’s good information too! Record your findings with this journaling prompt:
What do I noticing about myself and my experience? How can I be more curious throughout the day?
Email me your findings! I’d love to learn from you and share your wisdom on Instagram next week.
If you get discouraged along the way, take heart. In a science experiment, everything is good information, even failure. And remember, you are the ultimate expert at you.
Love & Gratitude,
Katie
In April, I bombed a keynote—45 minutes late, broken A/V, a room that wanted their drink tickets.
Here's what that failure taught me about participation, discernment, and why every Enneagram type has its own sophisticated reason to wait until it's "ready."