Changing the Conversation: Insight from Brené Brown

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“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.”  

Despite the evil display of hate crimes and bigotry in Charlottesville this past week, I’m still convinced we live in a loving universe.

Wait, before you look away in discomfort or write this post off as a political rant, stay with me.

We’re not going there today.

This post is really about relationships and at the core of any loving relationship is healthy communication.  I didn’t say easy communication…I said healthy communication.  This often takes shape in the form of hard conversations.

I had a lovely little number in the hopper for you today about the mind-body connection and just how important our life force of breath is to that mix.  However, after watching such horrific and seemingly dated images of racism, hatred, and violence; my heart has felt confused and my vision—very blurry.

In my bubble of what I now know of as privilege, I made up a story in my head that we were somehow past this as a nation.  Wrong.  It’s been simmering beneath the surface at a slow and steady boil all along.

While waiting to board a flight back to Nashville yesterday in Los Angeles, I numbly scrolled down my Facebook feed looking for something, I’m not sure what.

I came across a Facebook Live recording of Brené Brown entitled “We need to keep talking about Charlottesville.”  “Thank God,” I mumbled under my breath, “I need some direction here.” And from who better than a woman who has spent her life researching, writing, and teaching us all about shame and vulnerability.

Friends, these are critical times we can’t simply detach from or sleep through.  The root system of fear is so expansive and insidious, yet the power to effect change through our awareness and empathy is truly phenomenal.

We won’t get there with shame, as Dr. Brown shares.  We will get there by owning our stories and having thoughtful and open conversations.  They may feel uncomfortable and very imperfect and that’s okay.  I’m learning a lot these days about leaning into uncertainty and discomfort.

If you’ve thought to yourself this last several days, “What is my part in this complex and harsh reality unfolding before our eyes in Charlottesville?”, I’ve got some answers. (Well, technically, Brené Brown does.)

Please take 30 minutes and watch this video linked below.  Share it with friends.  It’s a humbling truth and a hopeful invitation to own our part in this fear-based meta story of hostility.

This is very much about you and I.  It’s about being human.  It’s about relating better to your loved ones and changing the conversation from judgement to accountability — from fear to trust.

I’d love to know your thoughts regarding her insight as well as how you’re conversations are unfolding in your spheres of influence.  *Be prepared, there’s a bit of language in this video, but I know you’ll see past that. 

Love & Gratitude,



P.S.  Stay tuned next week for a VERY special guest on my podcast who has the privilege of knowing and working with Brené Brown.  I’ll be announcing who this is early next week!  Eep!