Permission to Speak Freely

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Dear Friend,

I hope this email finds you well.  With the hustle and bustle of the season, whatever shape this takes on in your world, all I could think about this week was gratitude for your presence here. 

I realize you may be traveling, or with family, or perhaps even taking on more work and commitments.  Schedules get thrown off and the faint whiff of structure and routine we may have acknowledged just got sucked right out the window.

I get it. I’m there too. So we’ll keep this one short.

Today I simply want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart.  Thank you for accompanying me on this journey deeper into desire, connection, and thriving.  I started this blog a little over two years ago not knowing anything about what a blog was or who the flip would even care to read it.  I really just wanted to voice some deep longings, observations, vulnerabilities, and proof that hope and healing are absolutely always within reach.  

I’ve shared parts of my story that have felt scary and dark.  I’ve been afraid that perhaps you would judge me or see me as unqualified and/or inadequate both as a therapist and a writer.  For all you enneagram nerds out there, I’ve carried the curse of the “four” that whispers the ever so sexy lie, “If they saw you and knew you for who you really are, they wouldn’t love you.” 

As my British friend Lynsey would say every time, “Bollucks!”

The funny thing is, the more I heard that lie, the more I knew what I had to do—lay it all out there, flawed, broken, and wildly imperfect. 

If this year has taught us anything, it has surely been the importance of using our voice even though there is great risk involved and no guarantee of being well-received or even heard for that matter.  

When we speak our truth, it sets a domino effect of courage in motion.

For me and so many, this is very much a journey of first finding our voice—finding our truth.

My prayer and desire is that our weekly conversations will serve as a safe space and subtle nudge for you to keep searching for and using that beautifully powerful voice of yours.  

You may think this is pointless or impossible.  I get it.  You’re busy, you’re taking care of other people, you’re covered up with responsibility, or maybe you’re simply too weary and broken to try.  

Keep searching.

You may fall prey to the lie you have nothing good to say and your story, your voice, doesn’t matter.

Keep speaking.

Along the way, someone may have even told you to stay small and keep very, very quiet.  

Louder. It’s in there, and it’s big.

Okay, so you’ve searched, found, and shared that wobbly, crackling first few words only to fall flat without a nod or reassuring smile to catch them on the other side.  No one cared.

Get back on the horse.  

Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly.  Anything worth saying bears repeating.  

You belong to you and your voice matters.  

You matter. 

Why?  Because you are here.  It is your birthright to have needs and desires and to voice those valuable messages to the world.  You’re worthy and you belong, just as you are.

The thing is, truth is born out of silence, stillness.  We must slow down enough to hear the soft, rolling nuances of our soul’s longing.  If this feels indulgent, then my gift to you this holiday season is a big fat permission slip to find the time you need to lean into that stillness and listen to the voice of desire longing to speak freely.  

What does she sound like?  What are her words?  What does she need?  

Oh I know she’s in there.  And she is lovely, indeed.

Thank you again.  We’ve journeyed through yet another amazing year and I’m so grateful you are here. Hold on tight for the next leg of the journey. It’s gonna be good.

Until then, have a peace & meaning-filled Holiday!

Love & Gratitude,