How to Copy with Stress & Anxiety of your Enneagram type

Anxiety and stress are universal experiences, but how we deal with them can vary greatly depending on our Enneagram type. The Enneagram, a powerful tool for understanding personality, identifies nine distinct types, each with its unique coping mechanisms, opportunities, and challenges. I’m a firm believer that everything in life is relational.  We can’t avoid stress, in fact, some stress is actually necessary.  It’s how we relate to stress in our day-to-day experience that really matters.  Let’s take a look at how each Enneagram type can manage anxiety and stress effectively.

Type 1’s, the Improvers, feel stress around things not being as they should be.  Their impossibly high standards can keep them in the grind of perfectionism and self-criticism.  

Here’s how to cope: The practice of self-compassion is a game changer for Ones.  By treating yourself—speaking to yourself—with the same kindness you would a loved one, you are able to soften that harsh inner dialog and accept what is, imperfections and all.  

Type 2’s, the Helpers, feel stress around the possibility of being unwanted or unworthy of love.  This creates an insatiable need to be pleasing and needed by others.  This is also exhausting.  

Here’s how to cope: In order to prevent burnout, it’s absolutely necessary for Twos to learn how to set healthy boundaries with others, seeing their own needs and desires as equally important as those they seek love and acceptance from.  Practicing self-care in order to nourish you emotionally and physically is a must!

Type 3’s, the Achievers, feel stress around the possibility of failure, and ultimately being worthless.  They’ve learned to garner praise and admiration from others based on their performance which leaves little room for being human.  

Here’s how to cope: SLOW DOWN, dear Threes.  Schedule regular breaks from work and disconnect and recharge.  This invites you into greater alignment with your true self.  Find internal validation as you connect to authenticity and integrity.  

Type 4’s, the Romantic’s, feel stress around being misunderstood and lacking personal significance.  As a result, they are constantly in a state of longing and possible melancholy, which can be really lonely.  

How to cope:  By connecting to creativity and artistic expression, you can siphon this emotional energy into creating something beautiful and meaningful.  Also, keep a gratitude journal handy.  It’s a powerful stress reliever to name the things you DO have in life.  

Type 5’s, the Investigators, feel stress around incompetency and helplessness.  They are experts at self-sufficiency and strive for mastery.  If they aren’t careful though, they create lives of isolation and cynicism, shutting out the vibrant life and fullness surrounding them.  

How to cope: You can have your solitude, but balance it with social interactions.  By opening up to relationships with others, you are able to share your many interests and pursuits and let people in.  

Type 6’s, the Loyalists, feel anxiety and stress around being without support or guidance.  This creates a dependency on others (people and situations) and a distrust towards themselves, ultimately resulting in a scarcity mindset.  

How to cope: Balance out worst-case scenarios by going to the best-case scenarios.  Sure, we all need a strong support system of friends and family, however, by loosening the grip of negativity and stepping into curiosity, you can calm that anxious mind and strengthen your relationship with you.  

Type 7’s, the Enthusiasts, feel anxiety around being stuck in pain and deprived.  The OG FOMO type, these social butterflies never want to miss out, so they overdue it—in every way.  

How to cope: Practice grounding exercises such as mindful movement and breathing to bring your energy down into your body.  This type of mindfulness is a game changer for all of us, but especially you type 7’s! And of course, schedule out some fun! 

Type 8’s, the Challengers, feel stress around being harmed or controlled by others, so they spend their energy on being the strong one, avoiding any whiff of weakness.  This hyperdrive can really crash and burn.  

How to cope:  Allow trusted people to see your vulnerable, softer side.  I know you’d rather eat glass, but it will bring balance and release to those tired contracted patterns.  Find and hang out with a picture of you when you were five or six.  Ask that little one what she needs.  

Type 9’s, the Peacemakers, feel stress and anxiety around loss or separation from others.  They don’t rock the boat.  In fact, they are trying to avoid waves at all costs.  However, this causes a total disconnection with their true self as their energy is constantly merging with others around them. 

How to cope: Prioritize your needs and desires and practice asserting your opinions here and there.  We desperately want to hear what YOU have to say.  Knowing your presence matters is everything.  

This is a LOT.  I get it.  If you need a guide, I’ve got you.  Join me in the Practice, my enneagram-based self-care membership program.  It is one less thing for you to stress about…