In order to truly care for ourselves, we must understand what we’re about, and what we need. The Enneagram can help us do just that. It can help you unpack the story you’ve been living out of for a long time and begin to discern if it’s even true.

As I mentioned earlier, most of us are at the mercy of an old narrative that’s played over and over unconsciously for a long time. The first step in any self-care plan is simple: to wake up to what’s not working. Because many of us spend more time and energy taking care of other people and what they need, this wake-up call is often forced. Our health starts to suffer, our relationships fail, we experience depression and anxiety—or great loss. Oftentimes, a crisis happens to wake us up to the reality that we are failing the most important relationship we have: the one with our self.

So, today, I want to give you a little self-care nudge and tailor it to your dominant type.

Type 1: We all know you are master improvers. Yet this superpower can often get in the way when it’s your total sum of attention. Soften this tendency as you practice acceptance as opposed to fixing or resisting. Practice noticing what is right in the moment.

Type 2:  Spending time alone to develop independent interests and greater autonomy is incredibly life-giving for Type 2’s. This allows time for deepening your understanding of what you are passionate about, desire, and ultimately need apart from being needed and helpful to others.

Type 3: At the hub of the self-care wheel for Type 3’s is simply this: SLOW DOWN. Type 3’s move at light speed and get so fixated on the path to success, they miss out on tons of life happening around them that can add to their overall quality of life and the creativity they are made to bring forth.

Type 4: One of the most important postures of self-care we can practice as fours is to separate our self-worth from the propensity to show up as special or extraordinary. When we fixate and strive in this direction, we miss out on the rest of what life wants to offer us. The most special and extraordinary gift we can give to the world is our authentic, essential self who is at rest with themself.

Type 5: A helpful awareness is to recognize how you detach from emotions and resort to the thinking mind. Staying present with feelings when they arise just two minutes longer each time brings balance for Type 5’s.

Type 6: When you go to worst-case-scenario, balance that out in your thoughts by also giving the best-case-scenario equal air time. This challenges the habit of constantly expecting the other shoe to drop by flirting with the idea that it might actually go really well.

Type 7: Becoming grounded in the present is everything for Type 7’s. Because your attention is constantly going up and out, noticing when you are doing this is major. As type 7’s have an uncanny curiosity, wielding this superpower to explore the present moment is very powerful.

Type 8: Journal around your perceived difference between weakness and vulnerability, unpacking your own timeline of having to be strong and in control for protection.

Type 9:: As Type 9’s natural tendency is to fall asleep to their own desires, needs, and the actions involved to get these met, it becomes necessary for you to find a way to cultivate structure and practices that support the achievement of your goals.

P.S. Want to take the guesswork out of self-care? I’ve got a program just for you. Check out the Practice.