The Story of You

When was the last time you thought of yourself as “the artist of your days” as John O’Donohue handily puts it?

Me? Not very often.

In fact, I feel most days, the ballot’s still out depending on the quality of sleep I got the night before, the strength of my morning coffee, and the rigor of my to-do list.

Wait a minute, though. That feels victim-y and weak?? Hmm, perhaps. Yet, no matter how much A-Game we tackle our days with, we can all fall into that trap. 

Why? Because we live out of stories. Hundreds of thousands of stories we make up about ourselves and our lives every single day.

Part of our work in self-development and therapy (especially when using the Enneagram) is to wake up to the stories we’ve been living out of, albeit unconsciously, for a very long time.

Often these stories are limiting, keeping us cramped and fixated in ways that hold us back from our fullest potential.

It took landing myself at Vanderbilt Psychiatric Hospital for a week after a scary encounter with debilitating depression and resulting amnesia to wake up to the fact that my story was, indeed, no longer working for me. That rock bottom crash shook me to the core. Finally, I knew I needed to begin to write a new story—something kind and compassionate—something true.

And I did.

The Enneagram has been a big part of this shift. I believe it can be for you as well.

Here’s even better news: you don’t have to check in to your nearest psychiatric hospital to experience this wake-up call and resulting transformation. I believe it awaits you now, as you read these words and go about your day.

Here’s the deal though: waking up can be stressful. It’s far easier to coast through life unaware. (Well, until it’s not.)

We all need support on this path of transformation. We need light and encouragement to help us get from where we’ve been to where we long to go. I believe we’re all on a similar journey in that we want to go home—home to the truth of who we are—home to all God has for us.

If you feel stuck in the story you’ve been living, you’re not alone. You don’t have to figure it all out from here, either. I’d love for you to join me in the coming months as we take a long, soft look at the story we’ve been living out of. I think we could all use some editing. After all, I’m convinced you are the Hero of your story, not the victim.

As for me, I’d love to serve you as a guide. It’s time to write the next chapter. 

But first, you must decide...are you ready?

Love & Gratitude,

Katie

My Favorite Rookie Mistake

I grew up worshiping Sheryl Crow. She embodied brilliant writer, instrumentalist, singer, and entertainer all in one while looking really strong and sure of herself along the way.  

But when I listened to an interview with her on NPR, I learned of a much different, fragile side of Ms. Crow. She admitted a lifelong battle with self-doubt and depression. She even went so far as to say this larger than life persona she’d created over the years felt paper-thin and contrary to the reality of her own broken self-image.

Guess what? You and I are no different (well, besides the arsenal of Grammy’s perhaps). We learned early on which masks looked really good on us that would also double as a protective shield. They would help us show up and be seen on this daunting stage called life.  

After all, the word personality is derived from the Greek word, “persona”, which means “mask”.  We all wear certain masks of personality to protect ourselves from rejection and failure—to be liked. 

Your personality is NOT a bad thing either! It’s one of the loveliest things about you.  

But when we over-identify with that mask we lose touch with the reality of who we are—the authentic essential self.  

I believe the Enneagram is one of the best, most accessible tools for self-understanding. It serves as a roadmap, guiding us on the journey of self-discovery and relational growth.

We make one whopping mistake with the Enneagram, though.  Just as we over-identify with certain personality traits or masks we wear, we can also hugely over-identify with the classic and obtuse characteristics of our specific number or “type.”  

We attach to the safe constructs of this number as opposed to allowing it to help us “unlearn” certain behaviors that got us into trouble in the first place.  

For example, when I first discovered I was a four on the Enneagram (the Romantic), it was like someone had given me a handbook, or a language, for all the reasons I do what I do. The melancholic tendencies, the shame, the need to be special, the obsession with aesthetic, all of it! I thought I was just crazy all those years!?! (Ballot's still out there).  

Finally, I had insight into the complex story I’d been living out of

Initially though, instead of allowing this insight to help me shed the unhelpful parts of my personality, I took the information and completely indulged in it. Instead of “I’m Katie, and I identify with type four on the Enneagram,” it was, “I’m a four. Oh, and my name is Katie.” 

Are you tracking?  

In essence, if you are letting your type define you as opposed to allowing it to unlock the beauty and nuance of your purest, truest self, you’re still hiding in a box.  

Don’t worry, it’s my favorite mistake too. I camped out in Four Land for a good five years before I understood how much bigger and more powerful the Enneagram really is.  

It doesn’t want to type you just to leave you there. It wants to guide you home to wholehearted living without the entrapments of all those fearful masks.  

Here's the thing: You are in a league of your own. You're more than a number or a type on any personality indicator. Thankfully though, this gift of the Enneagram can support you in discovering all the intricacy, uniqueness, and power that lies outside the box and inside of you.  I'm pretty thrilled I get to support you as well. 

Love & Gratitude,

Katie

What's Your True Desire?

What’s stopping you from doing what you truly desire?  In my experience, it is much harder to do what I truly desire when I’m acting as my own worst enemy.   

However, when I get out of my own way and start playing for instead of against my team, big things happen.  It’s up to me to get out of my own way and embrace the responsibility of loving and taking care of myself.

Perhaps the greatest tool alongside therapy that has equipped me to do this is the Enneagram.  It has been a steady companion, giving me the language to express lonely truths I thought were mine alone, as well as reasons for doing the clumsy things I so often do.  The Enneagram has gently shown me all the ways I wear false--if not fashionable--masks of personality to protect myself from being truly seen and perhaps rejected. It has shown me the great potential that awaits (when I do step out of my own way).

You may know about the Enneagram, and if so, I’m grateful.  It’s not just a buzz word or cool kid trend. In fact, it’s so ancient experts can’t quite nail down its conception. It has stood the test of time, and I’m thrilled more and more people are bringing it into their homes, relationships, and dinner conversations.

As we wind down the summer, let’s take the time to become our own best friend…to connect back to the little girl who only knows love and has no clue how to lie or be afraid or confuse success with love.  

If this feels wildly out of reach and too esoteric, don’t worry, you’re not alone, I’d love to support you in your desire to truly thrive.  I’ve got a killer roadmap to get us there.  

You ready?

Love & Gratitude,

Katie

A Powerful Tool for Finding Your True Identity

If you know me, you’re probably aware of how much I love the Enneagram. Thirteen years ago, I discovered this incredible resource and have passionately been going deeper into its wisdom: reading, studying, and applying it in my own life as well as in our therapeutic journey.

So, what is the Enneagram?

The Enneagram is more than a personality test, it’s more than a spiritual tool, and it’s more than a book. It’s an ancient, holistic personality and character typing system used to deepen self-awareness and understanding. It’s a powerful tool for revealing your true identity.

Unlike most modern personality tests and online indicators, the Enneagram goes much deeper than behavioral tendencies, strengths, weaknesses, and preferences. It gives us the why behind how we think, feel, and act as it explores the motivations and nuances that inform our life experiences.

For me, the Enneagram has been a patient and wise companion gently revealing layers of insight into the truest, most essential parts of who I am as well as those I love. It has given me invaluable insight into relationships and has explained the driving forces for why we do the things we do, both good and bad.

I firmly believe knowing who we truly are and likewise who we are not, is a massive step towards personal freedom. If you are into this, yet perhaps feel overwhelmed by the sound of it, you’re in the right place. I’d love to partner with you on that journey, to dive deeper into this beautiful tool called the Enneagram, as well as provide you with additional resources to help you unlock your highest, most authentic self.

Connect with me here and let’s get started.

Have a wonderful week!

Love & Gratitude,

Katie  

Feeling Stuck? I've got an idea...

Do you ever get frustrated because you’ve got a desired outcome in mind and can’t for the life of you make progress towards it?  

If your answer is a resounding “Yes!”  you are not alone, my Dear.

I struggle with this scenario far too often, so much so that it lands me in a cycle of self-doubt, discouragement, and often…shame.  

“If I were better or more disciplined, this wouldn’t be an issue.  If I were more like (insert the name of one of my rockstar friends currently crushing it) I’d be just fine.

Oh, man. Well, perhaps.  

But if that were the case and we were someone different, we may risk the biggest catastrophe of them all— If you were just like everyone else out there “crushing it,” you’d be living their dream, not your own.

In order to experience your desired outcome, a laser-sharp focus must pave the way.  If this sounds obvious, stay with me.  

By the Grace of God Almighty and some act of Congress, I’ve managed to get to this point in my life feeling highly ADD while pursuing a whole lot of strewn out interests.  I’ve always managed to have about ten pots stirring.  Quite honestly, I’ve been proud of it.  

Guess what? Year after year I end up in the same place, in that cycle we talked about earlier.  It’s not necessarily a bad place, just one that is a pale shade of the florid landscape I long for.  This is not me beating up on myself, this is me being entirely too scattered.    

My husband often (lovingly) calls me “a walking contradiction.”  He remarks, “You’ve got all these great ideas and beliefs in your head and somehow manage to fill your time up with, hmm, I’m not quite sure?”  I laugh out loud.

If you’ve ever felt like a walking contradiction, I’ve got some good news: setting intentions and applying a bit more focus might just change up your game, and at least, get you out of your own way.

As my motivational crush, Tony Robbins says, “Where focus goes, energy flows.”  

So if you and I are expending a certain amount of energy split four ways into different projects, guess what? The level of focus applied to each one will be pretty tepid, if not weak.  

Let’s do it differently:

1) Step back and decide which project or desire burns the brightest. What would most benefit you and those around you NOW?

2) Once you’ve identified that, it’s time to let the pressure and energy up from the other, less pressing ones, and move into some concentrated focus on just the one.

3) What are your intentions for this dream or desire?  

What do you want to create and why?  Setting intentions every day in a specific direction is clutch because it starts the flow of energy and focus into powerful motion.  Stop to set an intention as often as you need or whenever you feel yourself feeding distraction. (i.e. “Today, I am building out the bones of my book proposal.  Write it down or speak it out loud.)

4) Visualize your desired outcome, often.  

Professional athletes do this; performers do it too.  Visualization is powerful because your brain doesn’t know the difference between these mental scenarios and reality.  As a result, brain pathways are created in favor of your desired outcome, making it more likely to recreate in real life.  Mic drop.  I know….

I really want to hear how all this sits with you.  What do you long to achieve?  Does letting go of other projects or goals in order to do so feel irresponsible?  Or weak?  I get it. 

I promise though; there will be time for other desires to take shape and the momentum you create as you arrive at your first desired outcome will likely carry you into a favorable pace for the next one on your list.  

As always, I’m here if you need a little extra nudge.  Bringing a guide on board - creating a team - is just another way of building out even more intention and focus.  

This stuff lights me up…you know where to find me.  :)

Love & Gratitude,

Katie