As you know, I believe self-care is crucial to not only our emotional well-being but our physical health as well.  Developing a daily self-care practice is meant to help you grow and evolve over time.  It’s about learning to relate to yourself with kindness and understanding, no matter what life throws at you.  From that place of love and alignment, we make choices that reflect self-respect and care—choices that are life-giving and nourishing. 

When I talk about self-compassion, it’s important to understand what it is as well as what it isn’t.  There are so many myths about self-compassion that keep us from buying in, so I want to take a moment to bust those up.  

Myth #1: Self-compassion makes us lazy or ineffective.   

Wrong.  Neuroscience proves that self-compassion has a motivating effect on our brain, creating the perfect petrie dish for change, learning, and resilience.  Shame, rather than self-compassion, shuts down parts of the brain responsible for motivation, change, and learning.

Myth #2: Self-compassion is selfish

Wrong again.  If you’ve ever flown on a plane, you’ll recall the  flight attendant’s schpeel about putting on your oxygen mask before that of others.  Similarly, self-compassion is one of the most loving things we can do for others because it allows us to fill our cup in order to pour out to the ones we love the most.  Studies have shown that marriages where the partners practice self-compassion are much more satisfying and successful than marriages where there is self-criticism and shaming. 

Myth #3: Self-compassion is irresponsible

Aaaaand….wrong.  Self-compassion allows us to be with ourselves in a kind and loving way and assess any mistakes or wrongdoing we have made.  From this place of compassion, we are more likely to apologize and not make the same mistake.  Again, when we self-flagellate, we tend to sit in guilt and shame longer, creating more stress on the situation than when we accept what’s been done and move on to choose something more loving the next time.  

So, today, I invite you to think about an area of your life where you need more self-compassion.  Is there a situation that you need to extend some compassion or forgiveness to yourself?  

Take a few minutes to think about this deeply and honestly.  And, since so much healing can happen through writing down our thoughts, I even encourage you to write about this in your journal.