This past week, an unspeakable tragedy hit my very own backyard of Nashville, TN.  Literally, you can see Covenant Presbyterian School and Church from our back deck.  The recent school shooting in our quiet little neighborhood of Green Hills has had a ripple effect all across our country.  

It was 10:30 am on Monday morning.  I was on my way downtown to Centennial Hospital for a pre-op appointment.  As I sat blankly, waiting for the light to turn green at the corner of Franklin road and Harding, I noticed a blur of police cars flying past me.  Traffic was stopped.  

“Lord, have mercy.” I prayed, unknowingly.  I got on the interstate and started to receive an influx of texts.  My friend Beth called me.  Our sons are in pre-school together.  Feeling a little uneasy, I let it go to voicemail to stay focused on my drive downtown.  I had a sick feeling in my stomach.  

As I came to a light on Church street, just a few blocks from the hospital, I looked at my phone long enough to read a few of the texts.  My whole body froze and I got lightheaded.  My heart pounded in my chest.  No stranger to panic attacks, I started to buckle.  I just needed to get to the parking garage.  “You can do this, Katie.” I muttered under my breath.  

As I parked I called my husband, Daniel. Hysterical, I stammered out, “Is it true?” He turned on the news and started to get more information on the school shooting right around the corner from my son’s school.  Without all the details and the steady man that he is, he helped me breath and calm down so I could get through the appointment and get home.  Thankfully, we had kept Tucker home from school that day due to a nasty cough.  They were both safe at home.  

But this wasn’t the case for so many others who suffered unimaginable loss that day.  

After the hysteria and panic subsided, I got angry.  Angrier than I can remember getting in a very long time.  Throughout the days and week, I learned stories connected to the people, the place, and the unfolding of the day.  

You probably have some similar story that connects you to this or other tragic events.  I pray God is near to you during these fragile minutes and hours of every passing day.  

Navigating grief amidst tragic loss is downright awful—punishing.  It’s not linear.  It’s messy as hell.  I could give you the soup to nuts on the grief process and hope it might be helpful but this is not that post.  

Today, I want to give you one simple word: CLING.  

Cling to prayer if you’re the praying type.

Cling to people who love you.

Cling to breath when everything else feels too hard.

Cling to truth and monitor what you’re letting in.

Cling to self-care so you can metabolize your felt emotions and pain.

Cling to the hope that God didn’t bring us here to leave us here.  

And just like Mr. Rogers’ mother told him when responding to scary news, “Look for the helpers.” 

If you are struggling to navigate this thick and complex grief in response to the Covenant School shooting, please reach out for help.  I’d love to be a resource for you right now.